


A thousand more

by VioletEyedJedi



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Blue Butterflies, Canto Bight, Dark Rey (Star Wars), Dreamscapes, Drunk Ben Solo, F/F, F/M, Fake Marriage, Flirty Ben Solo, Gambling, HEA, Happily Ever After, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Light Dom/sub, Luke's Jedi Temple, M/M, Naboo - Freeform, Nevarro, No Pregnancy, Planet Ahch-To (Star Wars), Planet Coruscant (Star Wars), Planet Exegol (Star Wars), Post-TROS Fix-It Fic, Praise Kink, Rey Has Abandonment Issues, Rey explores her trauma, THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED, The Force Ships It (Star Wars), The Mandalorian (TV) References, The World Between Worlds (Star Wars), WandaVision AU, dom Rey/sub Ben, lots of pain with a happy ending, tattooine, time and space fuckery, wandavision - Freeform, world jumping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 05:49:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 65,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28844115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletEyedJedi/pseuds/VioletEyedJedi
Summary: One year after the battle of Exegol, Rey and Ben Solo are living happily together on Naboo. Then Canto Bight.Everything is perfect. Absolutely perfect.So why do things feel so...wrong?Inspired by the new Disney+ show, Wandavision!
Relationships: Finn & Rey (Star Wars), Finn & Rose Tico, Jannah/Rose Tico, Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey & Rose Tico, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 26
Kudos: 54





	1. Naboo

**Author's Note:**

> After watching the premiere of the Disney+/MCU show Wandavision, I was inspired to take the concept and bring it into Star Wars. Rey has spent her life running away from the darkness within her. She's willing to create whole worlds, just for herself and her love. But what will it cost her?

Rey stood at the edge of the balcony and breathed deeply, taking in the fresh morning air and the soft breeze blowing over the water. She looked out at the vast lake and mountains before her, half-hidden by the silver mist under the pale sky. The crimson sun was beginning to peek out from behind, bathing the water in its soft glow. A beautiful dawn.

She felt so comfortable standing there in her long blue dress, even as the wind made her skin prickle ever so slightly and the silk fabric brushed up against her sandalled feet. Her golden necklace and headband felt light as feathers on her form, and her hair was fresh from the morning bath and fell in waves past her shoulders. As she felt a leaf settle on her head, she glanced up, smiling at the sight of the willow tree. The way its branches and leaves seemed to cover her in a blanket, embracing her in its greenery and protecting her from the world. She briefly considered reaching up and plucking off a low-hanging branch, perhaps the one with the vibrant blue flower, but she decided against it. She wouldn’t disturb it. Something so beautiful had to be left alone so that it could grow further and flourish.

Her thoughts continued to drift as she traced her hand across the intricately carved edge of the balcony, marvelling at the beautiful architecture. She’d heard so many stories growing up about the wonders of planets like Naboo, from the palace to the cities that existed in harmony with nature, to the mountains and gardens that stretched as far as the eye could see. Varykino was, of course, the most beautiful and romantic palace of them all. The spot where the great queen Padme Naberrie married her one true love.

It was the best place she could have chosen for the honeymoon.

“The best place,” She whispered to herself, still tracing the cold stone. Her hand settled on a small carving, nearly lost to time. It simply held the letters P, A. _Padme and Anakin._ She imagined they would have made wonderful grandparents if fate had given them some reprieve. She supposed they would have to fill the void that they had left behind. It would be difficult, but certainly not impossible.

Then, something tugged at her, causing her to whirl around. Her husband was only a few feet away, leaning against a pillar with his arms crossed and a soft grin on his face. He was dressed in a beautiful red and black tunic with pants, his scruffy black hair was tucked behind his ears, and his visage was clean and unmarred by the scars of battle. He looked positively _royal_ , and the sight of him made her grin widen.

“Good morning sweetheart,” He said softly, striding towards her.

“Good morning, my love,” she replied happily, stepping forward. They wrapped each other in a tight embrace, and she let herself enjoy his scent, the scent of a field after a long night of rain. Then Rey stood up on her toes so they could give each other a proper morning kiss. His lips felt warm and smooth under hers, and he tasted of desert roses and honey-lilies. She let her body sink into his for a moment, revelling in their first bit of alone time since the wedding.

“Had a wonderful time last night,” Ben whispered as they pulled their lips apart.

Rey blushed at the sight of his smile, feeling his large hands wrapped around her hips. “So did I. I think we were a bit…loud, though.” She mused.

He chuckled softly. “We definitely scared a few of the handmaidens.”

Rey pursed her lips and took his hand, leading him to the edge of the balcony. “I think Rose heard us, I bumped into her earlier and she wouldn’t stop making jokes. Said that she’d never heard anyone make those kinds of sounds before.”

“Well, she and Jannah only started dating last month.” He helped her sit up on the stone and wrapped a protective arm around her waist. “We’ve got a bit more experience.”

“That’s true,” She mused, nuzzling against his forehead. Two whole years between them. Yet it still felt like it was only yesterday that he’d proposed…and they’d gotten married.

For a moment, there was silence between them, and all that Rey could hear was the sound of waves hitting the cliffs far below.

“So tell me,” Ben said. “What kind of wonderful adventure do you have planned for us today?”

Rey furrowed her brow, then turned towards the mountains, where the bright golden sun was ascending over the tops and casting the blue light all around. It was such a beautiful day, how _would_ they spend it?

“I’m not sure,” she admitted. “We should make it special though. After all, today is…” she trailed off, suddenly unsure of where her train of thought was going.

“What’s today?”

“I—“ a few memories flashed through her mind, whispers and songs and the flames of the Niima campfire. The two of them, cuddling in the stone hut to stay safe from the rain. Their beautiful hike on Kef Bir and the Orbak riding lesson from Jannah.

_Anniversary._

Perhaps that’s what today was? Their anniversary? She’d heard of the custom from Leia, but it certainly wasn’t practiced on Jakku. Was it something that could be celebrated during a honeymoon? Yeah--yeah, probably. It should work. She supposed today was as good a day as any.

Now the question was, what could they do?

“You know what?” She turned back towards him, feeling giddiness rise in her chest. “We should finally have a ball.”

“Why’s that?”

She shrugged. “Well, you haven’t spent that much time with the others. We didn’t even have a big wedding ceremony. This would be the perfect opportunity to introduce ourselves to the galaxy as a real couple.”

He seemed confused at the prospect at first, then nodded enthusiastically. “You make a good point. I just hope my parents are able to show up on such short notice.”

“Oh I’m sure they’ll make it,” She said. “Your mother hasn’t seen you in ages, you know she misses you!”

His face dropped at the mention of Chancellor Organa. It had been far too long since he’d had the opportunity to embrace her.Not to mention his father Han…those two had barely spoken in years. It was tragic really, she knew that he still loved his father dearly.

Perhaps this would give the family the opportunity to reunite and catch up. It was the least she could do for them.

“Well, it will take a few hours for the staff to get things set up. What should we do until then?” Ben asked, raising a mischievous eyebrow.

“Maybe we could go for a swim,” She replied. “Leia once told me about a wonderful little beach. It’s just a few miles away.”

“Sounds perfect,” He said, lowering his hand to meet hers.

She looked down wearily at their bare hands, the way that he caressed hers so lovingly. She loved the feel of his skin against hers, the way it seemed to tremble ever so slightly, not out of fear of her but a fear of losing her.

Something nearby glinted in the sunlight, catching her gaze. She shifted and saw what it was—a blue blue butterfly had flown beside them, settling on the stone half a foot away. It was a beautiful little thing, brightly coloured like the flowers on the tree, and its wings seemed to glow softly in the morning sunlight, sending out small bursts of sparkles with every flap.

“Ben, look at that—“ She said dreamily, pointing to the little thing.

“Hmm?” He asked, turning slightly to find what she’d been looking at.

“Isn’t it beautiful?”

He turned back towards her, frowning. “What did you want me to look at?”

“It’s a—“ The words caught in her mouth as she reached out and pointed to the butterfly, but when she glanced back to the spot, she found it empty. As her eyes darted around, she couldn’t even see it flying away.

It was as if it had never been there at all.

“Nothing,” She said with a soft smile, wrapping her fingers around the back of his neck. “Just a trick of the light.”

* * *

Rey couldn’t get the image of the butterfly out of her head, even as she continued along her day. The pair swam together in the cool lake water for hours, then ate an incredible, filling picnic in the fields overlooking the great summer palaces. They returned much later, holding each other and giggling as the crimson sun began its slow descent behind them, to a newly cleaned palace, and in one swift moment the handmaidens whisked Rey off to her dressing rooms in preparation for the upcoming ball. Ben went in the opposite direction, presumably to find his own handsome getup for the event.

Before they lost sight of each other, he blew her a kiss, and she jokingly caught it in the air and pulled it close to her heart. For luck.

When she arrived in her chambers, she was pleasantly surprised to see that Rose and Jannah were already there, preparing themselves for the festivities. They had both travelled so far, and as the newly made senators of Kef Bir and Hays Minor, they were afforded full privileges within the Naberrie palace.

“Are you getting excited for tonight?” Rose asked, pulling her into the room excitedly. She already looked incredible, with her short black hair tied up in a low bun with a silver flower clip, and a dark blue sparkling dress that draped over her shoulders. She looks as though she was wearing starlight, and her silver makeup and dark lips completed the ensemble, making Rey blush slightly.

“I sure am,” Rey said sheepishly.

“Come on!” Rose said, waving her to the opposite corner of her room. Rey followed, then stopped in awe at the sight of her ballgown hanging on the wall before her. It was _incredible._ Long green train inlaid with golden leaves and suns, ending with a choker at the top. The sheer sleeves draped off of it like fairy wings, and the heavy golden necklace that hung above it looked like the most expensive thing she’d ever seen. _So many portions_ , she thought to herself. Instinctively, she put her hand towards her stomach. Her belly was nearly bloated from all of the honey berries and cakes she’d eaten mere hours ago. She was in a place where she wouldn’t have to think about scavenging for portions or hunting for food.

“It’s beautiful,” She said, turning back towards her friend.

“I picked it out,” Rose said proudly. “Now, let’s help you get your hair back in place, it’s a mess.”

Rey simply smiled dreamily as Rose sat her down at the makeup mirror, then sat her down so that she was just to the right of Jannah. She turned to the side and smiled at her beautiful appearance. Her hair was arranged in a series of intricate braids today, which she was carefully arranging into a high bun above her head, just behind a golden tiara that resembled laurel leaves. Her dress was abackless wonder, far lighter blue than Rose’s, resembling the lake under the afternoon sky.

She must have been staring for a long while, because Rose began tugging at her hair, positioning it into three tight buns behind her head, each with a golden clip. Jannah turned to meet Rey’s grimace and laughed.

“Like what you see?” She smiled, motioning towards her dress.

Rey chuckled and waved her hand. “You both just look so beautiful,” She said.

“I know we do,” Rose joked, leaning over to give Jannah a kiss.

She smiled at the pair, though her mind kept drifting off to Ben. Was he getting ready too? He didn’t have companions to help him out like Rey did. Hopefully they would have a suit ready for him. Something beautiful and blue like Jannah’s dress. Something to make his eyes sparkle as they danced together.

Rose let out a grimace.

“What’s wrong?” Rey asked nervously, searching for Rose’s face in the mirror in front of her.

“Nothing,” She said faintly. “Just headache.”

“Again?” Jannah asked, her voice laced with concern.

“Yeah…it must be the elevation,” She said.

Rey felt her heartbeat quicken, but she did not say anything, allowing Rose to regain her composure and continue helping her prepare. In mere minutes, they were done, leaving her to finish her own makeup. She settled on a golden dust for her eyes and a sparkling pink for her lips.

“Hope you put those to use later,” Rose nudged her good-naturedly.

Rey’s eyes widened and she felt her cheeks turn red. “Whatever do you mean?” She asked.

“ _Please_ , like you don’t know. You and Ben have been going at it since we got here, we’ve got to make a strong impression for tonight.”

Rey realised immediately what she meant. “Oh, I mean, this isn’t for _that._ He’s seen me soaking wet and covered in sweat and dirt, I doubt he’d care.”

Both of them raised their eyebrows at that.

“Long story,” She said immediately. “I just—“ She sighed to herself. “I just want tonight to be fun for him. I was hoping his parents would come, or even Luke, but…they haven’t responded.”

“I’m sure they’ll come,” Rose said. “We are talking about Leia here. She talked about her son constantly, she won’t miss a chance to see him.”

“I hope so,” Rey said sadly.

The silence passed between the three of them for a moment like a cold breeze.

“We should change the subject. Wonder what’s on the holonet today?” Jannah said, activating her holocaster. The blue light began to sputter into being as she leaned back to continue braiding her hair, while Rose looked on behind her curiously.

The image slowly began to appear; a human advertiser, wearing a sand-coloured tunic and with close cropped hair and a wispy mustache that almost made Rey chuckle. He looked like so many of the travellers she’d seen at the outpost.

_Ever get tired of your boring, tedious life? The man asks, his voice full of enthusiasm to match his plastic grin. Every day, making weapons, scavenging for parts, raising kids, trading junk? Well, do we have a bargain for you!_

_Come to Lah’mu Travellers Incorporated! We’ll help you plan out a wonderful vacation for you and your partner. Soon you’ll be able to leave your crying kids behind and head to a new paradise!_

_The advertisement ends with a flourish, as a group of ships fly offthe barren earth through a clear blue sky and immediately enter a new realm of wonder and magic. They begin to land on a small island surrounded by an enormous ocean, as the loud boisterous sound of the company’s theme plays, ringing through everyone’s ears._

Rey reached over and shut it off.

“What was that for?” Jannah and Rose said in unison.

She simply turned away, back towards her shimmering green dress hanging on the wall. “We don’t need any more distractions. We’re already running late.”

* * *

The ballroom was more enchanting than anything Rey could have dreamt up. The walls were made of silver and gold that glinted in the setting sun outside the open windows and doors, and each corner was occupied by tall pillars carved with the planet’s creatures. All around her, there were paintings of old monarchs and carvings of heroes and creatures of legend, some from Naboo, Alderaan, Coruscant…an incalculable number of planets’ folk tales were laid before her. So many stories had been told before her arrival, and the child within her wanted nothing more than to be a part of them all. Perhaps a swashbuckling Jedi, a fair maiden, a fighter pilot, or a great explorer of lost ruins.

Even as she peeled her eyes away from the paintings, the shiny marble floor reflected the movements of her guests, dancing and singing before her, and the ceiling was covered in an intricate star map of the galaxy. The stars and planets seemed to emerge from the centre like the branches of a great tree as if depicting the energy field of the Force itself. Binding the universe together, keeping it in balance.

“Everything’s perfect,” She whispered to herself, letting the orchestra’s joyous music ring through her ears. A tap on the shoulder interrupted her thoughts, but when she turned and saw Ben there, in his crisp blue and golden suit, she felt her heart skip a beat.

“May I have this dance?” He asked with a bow.

Rey giggled and wrapped her fingers around the delicate green fabric of her gown, then curtsied in response. “Of course.”

She put her arm around hers and strode towards the centre of the ballroom, where they began to waltz slowly, seamlessly melting into the dancers around them. Rey couldn’t help but look at her own feet, pleasantly surprised at how quickly she’d been able to pick up the skill. She supposed that it must have come from their time in each others’ heads.

“Where did you learn to dance?” She asked Ben.

He shrugged. “My mother taught me some Alderaanian pieces when I was young. She always wanted me to keep up the traditions. Never had much use for dancing though.”

“Until today,’ Rey mused, pulling apart from him. He held her hand over her as she twirled, then pulled her in close, sending a chuckle through her.

“I never had much use for parties in general,” He said casually as they returned to the steps. “Bit too crowded for my tastes.” His gaze seemed to dart around, perhaps out of fear or insecurity. There were so many people, many of whom were strangers to Rey. They seemed to melt into each other like faceless shadows behind her. Perhaps Ben had known them in the First Order. How long had he spent looking over his shoulder, wondering who was going to drive a dagger through his back of poison his drink? She didn’t even want to think about it. That part of his life for over. Their story was only beginning.

“Well then I hope my presence is making things easier,” She mused. “After all, once the party ends we’ll have all night together.”

Ben chuckled pulled her in to kiss her softly, then resumed the choreography. All was going well until suddenly she saw his eyes widen. She was going to ask what he’d seen, but then she froze at the sensation of someone new tapping her on the shoulder. The music stopped.

She turned around, feeling the air grow cold.

“Hello, Senator,” She said as plainly as she could. Ben whirled to stand at her side, holding her hand in his tightly.

“Good evening, dear Rey.” The Senator responded.

Rey eyed the old man carefully for a moment, noting his red Nabooian robes and carefully combed white hair. His smile was welcoming as if she were his oldest friend, and part of her wished that was not true. She wished she could limit her relationship with him to political meetings. His presence was so overwhelming, it was difficult to entertain him as a guest.

“Are you enjoying the party?” She asked, biting her tongue.

“Oh yes,” He nodded curtly, glancing around at the walls. “You’ve done a wonderful job with the place.”

She frowned. “Umm Senator, this is—“

“Young Skywalker!” He exclaimed, reaching out to shake Ben’s hand. Rey could sense his discomfort, and unlike her, he could barely hide it. He seemed both disgusted and terrified with this man, and when the handshake ended he pulled his arm closer to his side, still holding Rey’s with the other.

“Pardon me sir, my name is Ben _Solo_ ,” he replied, stressing his surname. “I see you’ve met my wife.”

“Yes of course,” He said, turning back towards her. “We’ve known each other for quite some time. Ever since—“

“The Senate!” Rey squeaked. “He is a Senator…and I, umm…being the representative of Jakku…know this man _very_ well.”

“Yes,” He said, his expression dropping. “Now,” He said, clapping his hands. “May I steal your partner for a moment?” He asked Ben.

Ben turned to Rey, who nodded. She would be fine, she just hoped he’d be able to get out of there soon.

“You should go see if your parents have arrived,” She said. “Or Master Luke.”

He nodded and stepped off, his boots clicking against the shiny floor. Oh, how Rey wanted to get out of this situation herself. But she didn’t have anyone else with her to take her out. Rose or Jannah would probably just get pulled in by his _charms_ , maybe Finn could help if he were here, but all day he’d been nowhere to be found.

“Come, my dear,” The Senator said, offering a withered hand towards her.

She clenched her jaw and took it hesitantly, letting him lead the next waltz. The music started once more, this time playing a slower, more pointed melody. The orchestra had even brought in a singer, who was off in the distance humming a mournful but beautiful tune.

Once they’d meshed in with the crowd, Rey finally got up the courage to speak again. “Why are you here?” She asked. “You were not invited.”

The old man chuckled, tightening his now-iron grip around her waist. “I know you would like to believe that I came here to ruin your... _honeymoon_ , but I am simply an observer here.”

“What do you mean?” She whispered.

“He seems so happy with you,” He mused. “You finally filled that void in the boy’s heart.”Without warning, he released her for a twirl, then brought her back to the original position. “Though it is a shame that it had to happen this way,” He trailed off.

Rey gritted her teeth. She wasn’t going to let this man ruin things for her. Not again. “He will be back soon,” She said. “His parents and uncle are coming. They won’t treat you as kindly as I have.”

That prompted a stronger laugh. “You really think they will come? My dear, you’re still giving those fools far too much credit.”

The music died down for a moment as he leaned his head over to her side until his mouth was only an inch away from her ear. “After all, they didn’t even come for _you.”_

Rey flinched as if she’d just been slapped, but he pulled away within a moment, offering her that charismatic smile once more. “I should go,” He said, tilting his head. She could not respond as he let go of her hands and turned around with a flourish, heading through the crowd of dancers.

“Wait—“ Rey said, though the words poured out of her mouth as slow as honey. She tried to hike up her dress and pursue him, reach out to him, capture him, but her movements were slow and laboured, and before she knew it…he was gone.

She stood there for a minute, panting and staring at the floor, her heart pounding in her ears.

“Rey?”

Ben appeared before her and gently wrapped her hands in his. She didn’t say a word, but jumped towards him, burying herself in his chest. He breathed deeply and embraced her, caressing her hair with his large warm hands.

“He’s gone now,” Ben said. “He can’t hurt you.”

Rey buried his face deeper into his chest, smelling the roses of his suit. “Thank you,” She whispered as her body began to tremble. The pair stood there, in the centre of the ballroom, as she let herself settle down enough to pull away once more.

She wiped her eyes, surprised at the tears that had begun to form. “Did you find your family?” She asked, barely meeting his eyes.

He shook his head, dejected. “They’re not here.” He said. “I don’t think they wanted to come.”

“Of course they did,” She protested, though her voice came out louder than she’d meant it. “They’re just running late, I’m sure they’ll be here any—“ She tilted her head to get a better view of the open doors to the rest of the palace, where the guests had been flocking in all evening, their numbers increasing as the sky took on a rosy glow.

At the entrance to the ballroom, there was a new guest waiting to be greeted. Even from a distance, Rey could see her short stature, long dress, silver hair twinkling in the fading sunlight.

Her eyes widened. _Leia._ She was here. She had come after all, come to see her son. She had to get her, she had to bring them together.

She picked up her gown and strode towards the old woman, but stopped once she reached her, realising her mistake. She’d gotten her hopes up over nothing.

“I—I’m” Her voice broke. Something about the woman seemed familiar. Perhaps they’d met at some point. She certainly looked like the type to live in Rey’s environment. Her dress, a regal black piece with long thick sleeves and a long train, seemed dirty as if she’d just trekked through the mountains to join the festivities. Her hair was matted, her face was half-covered in sand, and when she met Rey’s eyes, she flashed a toothy smile.

Rey tensed but tried her best not to show it. “Welcome,” She said cheerfully. “I hope you enjoy it here. We have plenty of food, if you require any lodging we’d be happy to assist you.”

The old woman smiled. “Thank you kindly, I—“ Suddenly, she took a breath, never taking her eyes off of Rey’s. Then she furrowed her brow. “Who are you, dear?”

She swallowed hard. “My name is Rey. What is your name?”

She paused for a moment to stare at her blankly as if she was trying to recall the last time they’d met. “I…I can’t seem to…” Suddenly, she groaned and her hand flew to her forehead. She looked to be in a great deal of pain.

Rey’s eyes widened, and she felt her heartbeat quicken. She could feel the woman’s pain emanating off her in harsh waves. She moved forward to grab the woman, help her if she could, but as she reached out the woman suddenly froze, then straightened. She was no longer in pain, but she seemed _angry._

“Who are you?” She asked again. Her voice was cold now, making Rey tense up. It sounded like a blade scraping against stone.

“I—“

“Who are you?”

Rey’s eyes widened.

 _Who are you. Who are you. Who are you._ The old woman seemed to grow angrier each time, her voice rising into a manic shrill. She started to grab Rey’s shoulders, trembling and asking her over and over again who are you?!

Rey stood still, her mouth half-open as her body remained frozen in place. Her head spun, desperately searching for someone in the room who could pull her out of there, but everyone seemed as immobile as her, staring at the scene blankly. Then, her eyes fell on Ben, and the spell broke.

“Ben,” She whispered. “Help me.”

He immediately ran towards her, and without hesitation he gently waved his hand over the crown of the old woman’s head, causing her to loosen her grip and drift off into a soundless sleep. In moments, the guards came to help them, and Rey watched blankly as they placed the woman on a stretcher and carry her away.

The other guests were still frozen.

“Are you alright?” Ben asked, gripping her hand.

Rey met his eyes and nodded, finding her smile once more. “I’m fine.” Her eyes drifted towards the stretcher as it vanished into the crowd. “She’ll be okay, right?”

Ben nodded. “Of course. She’ll be back to normal very soon.”

She felt the certainty in his words and dropped her shoulders in relief, still feeling the pressure from where the woman’s bony fingers had dug into her skin. “Everything’s fine.” She whispered to herself.

Dimly, she heard the orchestra resume their piece, playing a soft, calming tune that slowly brought some life back to the guests. One by one, they all began to resume their conversations, then their laughter, then their dancing.

Rey stood side by side with Ben for awhile, their hands never parting.She felt terrible for him. She’d hoped that his family would come to the ball, partly to see them together and (hopefully) give them their approval, but mostly so that he could see them again. He wore his guilt and regret on his face every day, and knowing how long she’d spent with his mother after he hadn’t seen her in years…it broke her heart. She should have done better. She should have dragged them to the party herself, no matter the cost.

 _It’s too late now._ Her psyche whispered to her. She knew it was right, but she couldn’t show it.

She breathed deeply, trying to calm the rapid beating of her heart, but with every passing moment, the music seemed to pulse through her forehead. At first light waves, but it grew into a painful sensation, and within minutes she let go and doubled over.

“Rey!” Ben exclaimed.

“I’m fine,” She grimaced. “I just—give me a minute.” Without waiting for a response, she walked away, pushing through the crowd of dancers and chattering politicians, until she found herself at a golden wall. She lay her hand against it and leaned over, clutching her forehead and groaning in pain. Her forehead was warm, her heart was pulsing out of her chest, and there was a ringing in her ears now, though she didn’t know how much of it came from her and how much of it came from the orchestra’s music.

“Get it together,” She whispered to herself, her eyes glued to the marble floor. The pain began to subside with those words, but as she raised her eyes towards the wall once more, she was met with her own reflection in the dark, glassy surface.

She flinched. It looked just like—

Rey reached out hesitantly and touched the edge of the mirror, staring curiously at her reflection. It felt cool under her touch and for a moment her double blurred, her surroundings darkening behind her. The guests seemed to fade into shadows beneath the golden light, and outside the open doors, the sky seemed to darken, transforming into a dark red haze.A shiver rose up to her spine, causing her to tense, but she never took her eyes off of the mirror. Even as the guests behind her faded and she was left alone, her face half-hidden in the shadows.

It was not like last time, she knew that immediately. She didn’t have the same questions, and the mirror wasn’t giving her the same answers. But the longer she stood there, the calmer she felt as if the cool air was embracing her. The shadows behind her seemed to merge, forming a dark smoke, engulfing her, _suffocating_ her until she could barely see her own reflection anymore.

“Stop.” She said. The smoke immediately faded, leaving her alone once more. Now, she could see something new in the reflection. A shadow behind her.

She held her breath and turned, returning to the ball. The dancers seemed to glide across the marble floor, obscuring her vision. But then, there it was.

Several feet away stood an unrecognisable figure in a hood black as night. It did not move, it did not speak, and she could not see their face underneath. But something about their energy frightened her. It flowed towards her with a harshness that made her knees buckle.

Rey swallowed hard as the hooded figure began to stride towards her, in its hands a shining metal staff, half-hidden in their long sleeve.She steeled herself and clenched her fists by her side, letting the power of the Force gather within her. Part of her was itching to take that monster down herself, every one of her senses was begging for a fight. She could do it, even without her staff or sabre.

 _No._ She said to herself. _Not here. Not now._

“Guards!” She cried out. In a split second, they were before her, and she looked on as they put the hooded figure in handcuffs before leading them off towards the palace cells. As they walked away though, the figure began to turn towards her, revealing the lower half of their visage.

She could have sworn she saw them smile.


	2. Canto Bight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next stop on the honeymoon, the casino of Canto Bight! But will Rey and Ben finally find the happiness they've been seeking?

“Nice one!” Rey said as Ben tossed the two dice. They flew across the long board, clanking against the checkered metal surface, until they came to a stop towards the end. Rey crossed her fingers and leaned in to her husband. They just needed a nine to win.

The Twi’lek man at the end of the table straightened out his crisp black suit and leaned over to glance at the dice. He raised his head and looked at them with exaggerated disappointment on his face. “Eight!”

She felt her stomach drop, then looked at Ben, who let out an exasperated sigh. Without thinking, she brought her hands under the table and flicked two fingers until she could hear a faint bump on the table. With a smile, she looked back at the man. “Would you check again, please?”

He seemed confused by the proposition for a moment, but then his gaze fell to the table once more. “Ah, my mistake. Nine!” He picked up the dice and walked them over to Ben, who took them graciously “Congratulations to Ben Solo!” The small crowd that had gathered around their table erupted into applause.

Ben grinned and wrapped an arm around Rey’s waist, then leaned down to kiss her. “You didn’t have anything to do with that, did you?” He said cheekily.

“Of course not,” She said with a grin. “We agreed, no shenanigans today.”

“Yeah, or they’ll try to string you up for cheating.”

“It’s Canto Bight,” Rey countered. “I’m sure everyone here’s cheated at dice before.”

He shrugged. “Fair enough.” Then he held out his other hand in front of her, opening his palm. “Would you like to go for another round?”

“Absolutely,” She said, picking them up. As she tossed them around in her own hand, she realised that something about them seemed familiar…their gold veneer and black carvings on each side…each one carrying scratches and scars from years of use.

“Ben,” She said, keeping her eyes on the dice. “They look so much like Han’s.”

He leaned down to examine them with her. “I guess they do,” he said quietly. She turned towards him and saw that he was frowning, and she could feel something tug at him lightly. A memory, feelings of guilt and grief.

“Never mind,” Rey said quickly, closing her palm. “It’s probably just a similar model. Let’s play!” Without hesitation, she held up four fingers, then four again, setting her goal for the Twi’lek dealer, who had returned to his position at the other end of the table.

“Let’s do this!” She exclaimed, shaking the dice in her palm, feeling their coolness against her skin. Closing her eyes, she tossed them across the table, concentrating as hard as she could.

“Eight!” The dealer said cheerfully. Rey opened her eyes and laughed triumphantly, punching her fist towards the sky.

“We won! Ben, we—“ Without warning, Ben wrapped her in a tight embrace and lifted her off the floor, until he was carrying her like he had on her wedding day. That send a hearty chortle through her. “Just like on our wedding day,” She said, wrapping her arms around the back of his neck.

“And the day we met,” He reminded her smugly.

“True,” She said, less enthusiastically. “But that wasn’t as much fun for me.”

“Never again,” Ben smiled, setting her down. She kept smiling at him, until the dealer returned to their sides, accompanied by a small levitating metal tray lined with a pile of golden coins that shined brilliantly in the light of the casino.

“Whose account shall I put this on?” He asked, looking at them both.

“Mine,” they said in unison.

“Oh, shall I split the winnings then?” The man tilted his head in confusion.

“No, we should have a joint account,” Rey said. “We’re the Solos.”

“Ah, you’re married then? Excellent, I can search you up in the database.” Before anyone could say a word, the man projected a holo-screen from the watch on his wrist, and began scrolling through the list of names. “Ah, I don’t see any Solos here. Different spelling, perhaps?”

“No, it’s spelled the way that it sounds,” Ben said awkwardly.

“I see,” He continued. “Then we can just prepare a joint account now. Do you have any record of your marriage ceremony?”

“Record?” Rey asked, feeling her heartbeat quicken.

“It’s alright if you didn’t bring one. Your rings should be fine.”

She swallowed hard, suddenly feeling the cold air brush against her bare fingers. “Right! Rings. We have wedding rings, they’re very beautiful—“ She said, bringing her hands behind her back. In less than a moment, she’d conjured two and presented them to him. Hers was a shiny gold, inlaid with a glowing yellow crystal, while Ben’s was a sparkling crystal with a crystal as blue as the summer sky. Both of their names were carved on the inside of the rings, symbolising their vows. She’d seen enough forgotten rings on the star destroyers of Jakku to know what they looked like.

The man picked up both and examined them for barely a moment before he smiled and handed them back to Rey. “Excellent!” Then, in a few short clicks, their account was created, and he confirmed by touching his wrist projector to theirs. “Now you both have complete access to the Solo account. If you ever need to deposit your winnings, just go over there and insert your coins.” He pointed to a line of golden spheres above the stairs, to the right of the enormous, bustling bar.

“Thank you,” Rey said with as much cheer as she could muster.

“It’s my pleasure!” The main said, clasping his hands together. “Here on Canto Bight, we want all of our guests to find luxury and happiness!”

Then he was gone, leaving the Solos with their levitating pile of money.

“He seemed fun,” Ben said flatly.

“Yeah,” She said, furrowing her brow. Then she realised she was still holding the rings and looked down. They both seemed to be pulsating in her hands, glittering like small stars, making her heart race. She picked up the silver and blue ring in her other hand and closed her palm. “I can’t believe I almost forgot our rings,” She said with a smile.

“Well, we both know you’d forget your head if it wasn’t attached.” Ben said cheekily. He held out his hand, letting her carefully slip the silver ring onto his finger. A perfect fit. It seemed to complete his ensemble nicely. Well-combed hair, a three-piece black suit that extended in the back down past his hips, making him look as though he was wearing a short, shining cape.

“I do.” He said quietly. “Now you,” he said, holding out his hands. She let him reach in and take the golden ring, then gently place it on her finger. She was outfitted in a long-sleeved white blouse and sheer black pants tonight, keeping with the dress code of the place. She felt so…wealthy in her getup, but it still fit her personal tastes nicely. Even her shoes were a very comfortable pair of glittering black boots.

“I do,” Rey said, closing her eyes. Their lips met in an instant, and this time she felt her whole body tingle. She could feel his frame against hers, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist. She let herself revel in the feeling for a moment, letting the whirring of the casino die down in her ears. There was no one in that moment, just them. Rey and Ben Solo, a honeymoon couple. Happy. Together. Nothing would tear them apart.

The longer she spent wrapped in his embrace, kissing him, the more she felt a hunger rise within her. She wanted to deepen the kiss, keep going, have him pick her up and set her on top of the cold table so that she could feel his warmth and take him for herself.

“We can’t—“ She muttered against his mouth. Their lips parted, leaving her longing for his warmth and dewy scent once more. “This isn’t the right place. We should wait a bit longer.” She said.

“If you say so,” He smirked. Then his gaze fell on the dice table, where a new couple had begun their game. Two Tuskens were furiously signing to the dealer to set the rules so that they could begin.

Ben smiled and held her hands low, pressing his forehead against hers. “Could be fun though.”

Rey felt redness rising to her cheeks. “We’ll get kicked out!” She said, unable to hide her laughter.

“Hey, rules were made to be broken.” He replied, hooking his arm around hers. “Let’s go find the others.”

They strode through the casino, arm in arm, searching for Rose and Jannah. Rey had expressed interest in visiting the famous casino planet since Rose and Finn first told her the story about their adventures there. Rose had spoken excitedly about their ride on the Fathiers, proudly telling her that they’d crashed the whole town before escaping into the fields, but she always wanted to go back and save the children.

Leia didn’t let her do it, at first because the Resistance had no way to keep them safe…but now the war was over. There was no reason to leave them there, they deserved a chance to be free. To grow up. To _live._ So she decided to make it into a trip for all of them. A chance for Rey to get a taste of the high life, roll at the high-stakes table, and enjoy her time with Ben. Rose and Jannah could do the same, then when the time was right, they’d find a security guard, steal their keys, and sneak into the stables. It was the least she could do. Those kids were alone, with no family except each other, forced to serve the whims of the higher-ups in the town. If no one got them out, they would eventually find their own way…or grow up alone. They would exist as shades, never truly living, only filled with grief and regret. The way she’d been.

She tightened her arm around Ben’s. Things were okay now. She wasn’t that little girl anymore. She would help free them.

Rey breathed deeply as they walked through the middle of the casino floor, eyeing every table and searching for their friends. In the distance, she could smell the buffet of native prawns, of steamed pheasant with luscious pomegranate sauce. The bells and whistles of the machines sounded off around her, creating a sharp melody, offset by the harsh sound of their levers being pulled. There were lovely statues of all kinds of people and creatures, some dripping with crystal water, others with glowing eyes like they were just waiting to pounce off the pedestals. The lights pulsed above them, illuminating the room of gold and silver, while the moonlight poured through the enormous stained glass windows and cast rainbow light on the marble floor. The high rollers glided past like sharks, adorned in black and white suits covered with multi-coloured pins and accessories, and many of them were accompanied by their own well-dressed partners, and levitating plates of coins followed at their sides, always keeping out of reach of greedy people. Distantly, she heard sobbing. Perhaps a man or a woman—no, a woman. She must have bet too much and lost everything.

She smiled to herself, finally understanding how Finn could almost get lost in a place like this.

The pair eventually found Rose and Jannah together, in sheer black and white dresses, totally entranced in a poker game. More accurately, Jannah was playing. Rose was standing just behind her, keeping a palm on her shoulder while scanning the room for any potential enemies or targets. When she saw Ben and Rey she waved them over enthusiastically.

“You’re not playing?” Rey asked as they reached speaking distance.

Rose shook her head. “Never been much good at cards, Paige taught me what she could but it didn’t stick.” She glanced at Jannah, who barely seemed to register anyone else’s presence. “Apparently this game was very common amongst troopers.”

“All in,” said the blue skinned man to the left. Around the circle, the others slowly placed their cards face down, slid in their bets, or, in one case, slammed the cards down and stormed off. With a smirk, Jannah answered the challenge and placed her cards on the table.

“Looks like it’s my game.” She said proudly. Rose hugged her tightly as the table erupted into choruses of cheers and boos. The remaining players slammed their cards on the table and fell backwards into their chairs, sighing and rubbing their eyes.

Jannah was more than happy to collect the winning coins on the plate, and without another word to her competitors, she stood up and took Rose’s hand happily.

“Well, we’ve had our fun,” She said, nodding to Rose and Rey. “Have any of you found a guard yet? Someone we can use?”

“Not yet,” Rey admitted. She wanted to kick herself for not looking harder.

“Nothing,” Ben said.

“Someone’s bound to show up eventually,” Rose said. “They’re certainly quick to show up over a parking violation.”

That prompted a small chuckle from Rey, which led to all four of them chuckling quietly together in the middle of the floor. Suddenly, they were interrupted by the loud _thump!_ from the other side of the stained glass window. Enormous shadows passed over them, darkening the colours on the floor.

“They must be keeping an eye on the Fathiers right now,” Jannah said. “We’ll wait until the race is over, then we’ll make our move.”

“That won’t be for another half hour,” Ben said. “So…should we just keep mingling?”

Rose and Jannah exchanged an unsure glance.

“I guess,” Rose said.

“Good,” Rey said. “Then we’ll meet back here in half an hour.” She tilted her head towards the bar. “Ever since you told me about the cocktails here, I’ve wanted to try them.”

That made Rose pause. “I—I don’t think I had any cocktails here.” She said quietly, reaching up to rub her temple. “Plus, didn’t you tell me you don’t drink? That one time on Akiva, you almost puked when I offered you wine.”

Rey stiffened. “Yeah, I mean—I was talking about the non-alcoholic ones. Ben’s the only one of us who drinks.”

She hesitated for a moment, then nodded. “Alright then. Just don’t go too far, okay? We still have a mission to complete.”

Rey nodded, then walked off to the bar with Ben by her side, desperate to give the two of them a bit of space. As she turned back, she could see Jannah told her hands, and Rose’s head fell forward. She temple, then Jannah moved closer and leaned down so that her mouth was behind Rose’s head, obscuring Rey’s view. A moment later, they straightened and embraced each other, making her breath a small sigh of relief.

When the two of them took their seats at the bar, the droid bartender was there, eager to prepare their orders. Ben grabbed some Chandrila liquor, while Rey ordered a non-alcoholic cocktail for herself. They drank together, talking and laughing, only half-surveilling the space between them. Before they knew it, the two drinks turned into four, six, eight. When she finally turned her gaze back to the bar, she could see ten glasses between them.

“You know, you look so beautiful tonight, sweetheart.” Ben slurred, gently placing his hand on her thigh. Rey felt the warmth rise within her, and the image flashed in her mind of him lifting her onto the shining gold bar. But she reminded herself of her goal and simply kissed him, delicately peeling the new glass out of his hand and placing it just out of his reach. She’d never seen him drunk before, she realised. She’d been so used to seeing men in the small taverns get belligerent, travellers sing songs well into the night, men and women alike lose their inhibitions and show their hate and fear. They were loud and frightening to her…but Ben seemed comfortable. Content, perhaps a bit flirty, but nothing that was too far out of her comfort zone.

“Thank you,” She finally said before pulling away. “You look positively dashing.” No harm in indulging him…at least until the liquor passed through his system.

“We’re gonna have such a good time tonight—“ He muttered happily, fluttering his eyes and leaning against the bar like he was about to fall asleep.

“Of course we will,” Rey said with a giggle. Suddenly, she tensed. Something was behind him. Looking around, she could see a small blue circle of light. The butterfly, flittering around on top of one of the bottles on the high shelf. Maybe she could get it this time.

“Bartender!” She waved loudly. The droid was over to her in a second.

“That butterfly,” She said frantically, pointing to the spot. “Can you get—“ Her eyes fell on the shelf again. It was gone. She jumped off the plush stool and began eyeing the room and ceiling, looking for the elusive little creature. But once more, it had disappeared entirely, not even leaving a trace.

“Wh…what butterfly?” Ben said tiredly behind her.

“Nothing,” Rey said coldly. “Nothing.” She was about to return to her position, when something else caught her eye. A dented white and orange ball at the corner of the bar, rolling around the corner, just out of sight, but beeping frantically over the lighthearted bop playing over the speakers.

“BB-8?” She said. Her eyes widened. It was the little droid! He was here! She rounded the corner of the bar, searching for the little guy, but then stopped and realised how much of an idiot she’d been. It was just the slot machines, beeping and whistling as new patrons inserted and withdrew coins for their foolhardy gambles.

“I’m an idiot,” She muttered to herself. Her proximity to the slot machines made her slightly nauseous. A headache was coming on, a slow pulsating sensation that began to radiate across her forehead and just above her ears, forming a tight ring of pain. She groaned and paced around for a moment, rubbing her eyes and staring at the floor.

Then, she saw him, standing only a few feet away. He stuck out like a sore thumb in the room, with his hair in a thick ponytail, his unkempt beard, and his bright yellow bomber jacket over a black tunic and pants. He stared at her for a long while.

“Rey.”

Her eyes widened. “Finn.” She took a step back. “Wh—what are you doing here?”

“I—“ He stammered. “You don’t know? I’m here to get you out.”

She swallowed hard as he wrapped his hands around her wrist and started to walk her away from the slots, from Ben and the others. She didn’t protest as he brought them to a bare wall in the far corner of the room. His gaze darted around the room for a moment, though she couldn’t imagine what that was. All she knew was that he wasn’t supposed to be here. If he stayed any longer he could blow their cover.

“Doesn’t look much like how I remember,” She heard him murmur as he turned his head back towards the gambling floor. He quickly shrugged it off. Then he turned towards her and brought his hands to her shoulders, his left palm brushing against the spot where her jagged scar was. The sensation sent a shiver down her spine.

“Rey,” He said, locking his gaze onto hers. “What’s going on here?”

She tilted her head. “What do you mean?”

“Who’s doing this to you?!”

“No one.”

“Why are you _here_?!”

She blinked, then found her smile again. “It’s our honeymoon. I thought this would be a nice place to visit.”

Finn looked positively stunned.

“We’re going to break out the kids later, Finn. You should join us.”

“That’s not— _Honeymoon?_ With who?”

As if on cue, Ben awkwardly stood up from the bar and waltzed over, splashing the crimson liquor in his crystal glass and humming along with the lively melody that played around them. He barely seemed to register their presence at first, but as he turned in their direction and his gaze fell on Finn, he stopped.

“Finn!” He exclaimed. Finn flinched at the sound of his name, and Rey felt his hands shake and drop. He whirled around, moving his hand towards his hip, then stopped. Ben was several metres away, waving and laughing. He seemed positively elated, as if Finn were his best friend.

“You—“ Finn stammered, turning back to Rey in shock. Ben took the opportunity to stride towards them and sling his arm over his shoulder, causing him to stumble slightly.

“I didn’t think you would make it!” He said enthusiastically. “How are things going?”

Finn immediately pushed him off and turned back towards Rey, his fists clenched at his sides. “ _Kylo Ren?_ You’re here with _Kylo Ren?_ ”

“’I—“

“Hey, c’mon, I thought we agreed not to use those names anymore.” Ben said, unfazed. “We’re both traitors after all!” The last sentence sent a hearty laugh through him that seemed to reverberate through the entire room, making the corner of Rey’s mouth twitch upwards.

“ _Both?!”_ He exclaimed. “Am I missing something here?! You’re supposed to be—“

“Getting me another drink,” Rey said quickly, stepping towards Ben. “Can you get me a golden Akivan cocktail? No liquor.” She smiled and reached up to brush her hand against his cheek. “Please.”

“Of course, sweetheart.” He said slowly, his eyes half-closed. “I’ll be back soon.”

Finn seemed at a loss for words. He just stared at Ben for a long while as he clambered off towards the bar in a stupor, his mouth half-open in confusion. “I feel like there’s something I missed.” He finally said through gritted teeth. He met Rey’s gaze. “You owe me an explanation.”

She stood still for a moment, weighing her options. Then she sighed and pulled Finn closer. “You should have known when you came in here.” She said. _Rose and Jannah do. They were content with it._ She held up her hands towards the sides of his head, but he flinched and pulled them away.

“What are you doing?!” He asked, his voice laced with panic as his hands flew up to grab hers.

“Relax,” She said softly. “Finn, it’s okay. You deserve to know what happened between Ben and me.”

After a moment of hesitation, he let go and allowed her to gently press her palms against his head. She sighed and closed her eyes, silently frustrated at the fact that she would have to do this at all. But then she began to project the images into his mind, the scenes and stories of her life since the day they met. Her experiences with Luke and Ben on Ahch-To. The fight on the Supremacy. The occasional reopening of their bond the following year. Pasaana. Kef Bir. Exegol. Ben promising to meet her again. Rey’s return to Ajan Kloss and the celebration. Rey and Ben journeying to Tattooine, starting their life together, getting married, going to Naboo, and now coming here.

When she opened her eyes and gently pulled her hands away, Finn was breathing quickly, and his forehead covered in beads of sweat. She wondered for a moment if this was it, maybe he understood now.

He slowly opened his eyes and blinked towards the floor, then met Rey’s gaze once more.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

Rey felt her chest tighten. “You didn’t ask. I knew you hated him for what he did…I thought if I told you…you’d hate me, too.”

He shook his head. “I didn’t—I don—I would never.”

“Of course you would,” Rey said. “We both saw the same things.” Her face dropped. “I know how he hurt you.”

Finn’s hand flew up to his back at that one. The scar was long faded by now, but she knew the memory was still fresh.

“I thought if we just kept to ourselves…things would be easier.” She said. She could feel something rising within her, a deep sadness and pain that had tormented her for over a year. She remembered the first time she’d tried to tell Finn about her connection with Ben. When she brought up the throne, she wanted to tell him that she was afraid of the darkness within her. Afraid of the person she would become if she let herself give into it. But he kept harping on her mention of Kylo, as if he were some monster trying to entrap her. Corrupt her.

_It wasn’t you. It was Ren._

Those words had broken her more than Finn would ever know.

But when he spoke again, his voice had softened. “Rey, I lived in the First Order for years. I…I believed in it for a time, I know plenty of people did too. I—I killed those I’d once called my friends. I would have forgiven him eventually.”

Rey met his eyes, feeling some of the tension lift from her shoulders. “Really?” She asked.

“Yeah. I’m sorry that I ever made you think otherwise.” He said, his voice filled with sincerity. Then he glanced back towards the bar, where Ben was picking up the drinks. “But this isn’t right. You have to stop.”

She took a step back. “Stop? But I—“

“Rey, if you keep doing this, people you and I love are going to get hurt. Stop this _now.”_

That made her flinch. Hurt them? They were happy here…why would she ever want to hurt them?

Something in the corner of the room caught her eye. A shadow, a cloaked figure standing on the far side of the bar.

“No.” She said suddenly, feeling the spark of rage start within her. It seemed to grow into a flame with every passing second, making her head spin.

“Don’t—“

“I said NO!” She cried out, feeling power coarse through her veins. In an instant, it exploded out of her, sending a shockwave that silenced the entire casino, shook the tables and glasses, and sent Finn stumbling backwards.

He found his footing after a moment and stood up, but when he did he seemed terrified of her. “Rey, your eyes--“

She ignored him and began once more, concentrating the power within her to prepare for another blow. “Get out.” She sneered.

Before he could make a move, she blasted him with another wave of energy and sent him flying backwards…but he did not hit the wall. His body seemed to disappear, and Rey knew immediately that he was gone. Then, she groaned and clutched her forehead, feeling a wave of crushing pain. Her ears were ringing over the sounds of the music in the room, but there was something else…whispers. It felt as though someone was holding her and infecting her with that—that _venom_.

Her gaze flew up towards the wall that Finn had flown through, and without any more hesitation she ran up to it and pressed her palms against the cold marble surface. She could feel Finn’s energy radiating slightly, enough that she knew that he wasn’t dead, just gone.

“What have I done?” She whispered to herself.

_He wanted to separate you two._

The words sent a fresh shiver up her spine, and as she turned to see its source, she found nothing but the mulling gamblers, some playing enthusiastically and others drifting like shadows.

_He didn’t care about your happiness._

Her hands flew up to her ears, and she shut her eyes, willing the voices to stop. But they kept coming, repeating the same things…it felt as though dark tendrils were wrapping around her mind, sending waves of fresh pain and willing her to accept the truth of their words. No, she couldn’t. She was finally happy, she wasn’t going to let anyone ruin it.

Rey took several deep breaths to calm herself down, and the voices slowly began to fade. Yet, when she opened her eyes, the sight before her made her go still. The dark wall in front of her was filled with marks—scratches arranged in perfect lines, and they seemed to extend as far as her eye could see. Shakily, she reached out towards the lines and touched them delicately with her finger, feeling the roughness of the metal beneath.

She took a step back, then realised the music had come to a halt. Whirling, she found the entire floor silent, bright golden lights settling into a deep read. No one was playing, no one was laughing. They were all staring at her. Hundreds of people, some she knew from the Resistance, from the outpost, from growing up, and many who were unfamiliar. She could feel their energy emanating, some of them confused but others angry.

_Who are you?_ They all seemed to ask.

She had to get out of this place _now._

“Ben!” She cried out, marching towards the bar, where he still stood with their drinks. “We’re getting out of here.” She said firmly, clutching his wrist. Her head was pounding.

He nodded and set them down, and they quickly strode out of the casino and into the town. Rey hesitated but turned back occasionally, only to see the shining rooms and dimly lit streets begin to disappear behind her. The stones seemed to crumble and shatter, floating in the air like dust particles. Lamps began to break off and flit about like fireflies, while the voices of the gamblers and shoppers began to quiet one by one until she could only hear the faint wails of a lone woman on the street.

She knew that Rose would kill her for skipping out on the mission—the whole reason they’d come to the planet, but it wasn’t her biggest concern at the moment. Rey didn’t feel comfortable until the Falcon was in sight, parked at the edge of the lot by the cliffs, half-hidden in the shadows. The other shuttles seemed to glow and blur together in the moonlight, making her dizzy if she spent too much time staring at them up close. When she turned towards the moonlit sky, she could see one lone silver ship flying away, lighting up the night sky with its bright blue lights emanating from the jet engines. They turned to a blood-red before her as the ship finally faded off into the distance.

Rey swallowed hard, but kept moving. Things were worse than she thought. They had to find out a new destination, and fast.

Before things really started falling apart.


	3. Tatooine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn discovers some of the secrets that Rey has been hiding. Meanwhile, Rey and Ben find their journey disrupted by a mysterious man in black, and they must work together to bring him to justice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: some violence (bloodless...no more graphic than any SW movie), sexual content
> 
> This is a substantially longer chapter than the first two (but most of the future ones won't be nearly this long). This is also the chapter that gives the fic its M rating (at the very end). It's actually my first time writing such a scene, so I hope you all enjoy it!

Finn looked down at the kitchen table to see it covered in open books, papers with ilegible notes, and holo-pads strewn about. Some of the pads had labels, all dates from long before he was born, and each one was labelled with the name Organa. When he turned some of them on, he saw a few different clips play. A much younger Leia holding her four or five year old son and telling him stories of his grandmother, Han and Chewie with them celebrating a birthday, an unfamiliar Togruta woman telling stories to the person filming (perhaps to be watched by an older Ben?), and Luke Skywalker teaching a now older boy how to use a lightsaber. Leia must have kept them with her until she died. He found himself wondering…how many nights had she spent watching these videos, remembering how happy her little family used to be, before Kylo Ren tore it apart?

The last pad showed Han and his son playing happily with the butterflies in the field. One of them landed on the boy’s nose, causing the whole thing to glitch slightly. Finn turned it off.

The scent of the ancient papers had mixed with the sand and dust of the homestead, and the longer he spent there, the more he felt the urge to sneeze. When he turned to examine the wall, he found a similar type of chaos. Crumpled papers had been pinned against the walls, covered with images of planets and notes written in Aurebesh. When he leaned in to read them, he could see that there were many repeated words. _Island…Unknown Regions…_ _thin_ _veil…Mortis…gates??…Lothal…Jedi trials._

_Resurrection._

That word appeared more than any other. The sight made him tense. Who was she trying to bring back? His first guess was her parents, but he thought she’d moved on from that. She barely mentioned them after the pair had started working full time with the Resistance. Why was she so concerned now? Maybe her pilgrimage to this planet had brought back old memories? The thought of Rey having no one to confide in sent a pang of guilt through him. He should have pushed harder to go with her, at least to keep her company. But she insisted on doing it alone.

_It’s…Jedi stuff. It’ll be short trip, I promise._

She said those words six months ago, before taking the Falcon to this miserable sandy planet. She might as well have gone back to Jakku, the landscapes were similar enough.

As Finn continued examining the room, he could see that the bare sections of the walls were covered in marks. Lines and lines, arranged in perfect rows, etched deeply into the metal and stone. The sight of them filled him with a profound sense of dread. He’d seen the lines before. During their year with the Resistance, Rey would almost always sleep on the Falcon. She used to draw those lines in marker on the floor, claiming that it was just a habit that she’d developed to keep track of time. He didn’t think much of it then, but now…

He shook his head and went back to perusing through the books and papers on the table. Most of them seemed to talk about Jedi stuff. Building lightsabers, using the Force in battle, stories of old battles and heroes of the High Republic.

The sight of it all caused Finn to let out a deep sigh. He felt his shoulders drop, remembering how they’d worked together before she decided to make the trip to Tatooine. Once she’d realised that he had a connection to the Force, something between them changed. Like she’d gone full mentor…which was awkward in its own way, considering that he was a few years older than her. She spent weeks putting him through a strange Jedi bootcamp, giving him notes and tips on how to fight and how to build his own sabre. She even gave him the crystal from Leia’s sabre and told him to use it to build his own, like she’d done with Luke’s. Since Starkiller Base was gone, these were the only kyber crystals they had. He finished it just before she left, and at the moment it was lodged in between all of his other equipment in his bag. He’d barely used the thing…he didn’t really need to. He’d always been more comfortable with blasters, but now the war was over. After Rey left he went to focus more on the rehabilitation program on Coruscant that he, Jannah, and Rose started for former stormtroopers.

He brushed his hand over the papers, smiling slightly at the sight of his silver ring. Well, that, and making things official with Poe.

After Rey came here, the two of them stayed in touch for awhile. She seemed chipper on their calls and said that she was talking to Rose as well, but with time she seemed to grow more distant, often missing calls or sending him straightforward messages that she was busy with Jedi stuff. Then…the calls stopped altogether. She stopped talking to anyone. Rose got worried, and Jannah wanted to make sure that Rose was alright, so they went to Lars Homestead together to check on Rey.

Finn didn’t hear back from them for days, and their absence weighed on him, making him unable to sleep or eat or think without wondering if they were all okay. So he convinced Poe and Chewie to come with him and check. When they landed, he could immediately feel Rey’s presence, so he knew that she must have been nearby. But of course, when they went to the homestead, it was abandoned.

He swallowed and continued along, meticulously checking the books for clues, something, _anything_ that could help him along. When he finally felt like it was time to give up, he noticed one small leather-bound piece, with a paper sticking out of the corner. Heart pounding, he opened the book, then saw that the paper was in fact a note. It was written in Rey’s handwriting.

_I can’t do this anymore. He’s not coming back. None of them are. They won’t even let me try to find him. They want me to let him go, but I can’t. It was my fault. All my fault._

_They say he’s dead, that’s why they couldn’t feel his presence anymore. I can still feel him whispering to me, telling me I’m not alone as he did that night. I know they think I’m crazy._

_But…I can do it. I found another way. I can be happy. I deserve to be happy. He deserved to be happy._

Finn picked up the note and turned it over to find that the other side was blank. When he looked down at the open pages underneath, he saw that the text had been scrawled on in a language he’d only seen a few times before when he had stumbled into Beaumont Kin’s workspace. It was the language of the Sith.

The realisation sent a shiver down his spine, but he kept looking, focusing on the small details that had been scrawled in the margins. Many of them were loose translations filled with question marks. Rey couldn’t understand the text much better than Finn. She’d only been able to translate one page. Upon closer examination, it described a technique called “dream walking.”

_Once in a meditative state, a Sith warrior’s power and emotions can be used to create a new pocket of reality. Anyone who lacks the power of the Force and crosses the gate will automatically be assimilated._

_Caution: if the warrior remains in this state for too long, they will begin to lose all sense of reason…_ and the note trailed off. Rey hadn’t managed to translate the whole thing.

Maybe she wasn’t interested in trying.

Finn closed the book and stuffed it in his bag, then collected a few more books and walked back out of the kitchen with them in tow. He met Poe in the centre of the homestead, where the blazing sunlight made them squint.

“Anything useful?” Poe asked.

“I think so,” he said, patting the bag.

Chewie cried out for them at the surface, and with his help they were able to climb out fairly quickly.

“Grrraggghhh?” The Wookie asked once they reached the top.

“They’re not here,” Poe said.

“Rey’s still on Tatooine, I can feel it.” Finn said assertively, reaching out into the Force. He could feel Rey’s life energy somewhere, a gentle hum that floated on the desert breeze like a soft melody.

“She’s close,” Finn said, turning towards Poe and Chewie. “We’ll take the Falcon, see if she’s nearby.”

They flew around in the junk ship for hours as Finn scanned the earth visually and through the Force, desperately trying to hone in on her location. His abilities were far stronger than when he’d first discovered them, and with time he’d found it easier to perform basic telekinetic functions attune himself to the energies and emotions of those around him…but now, something was blocking his way. Muffling the melody.

Eventually, he saw something that made him shudder, and he had them land only a mile away from Mos Eisley.

As the door to the Falcon opened with a _hiss!_ Finn sprinted out and looked upon the desert before him.

“You feel something?” Poe asked, climbing out. “It looks like any other part of this crap planet.”

“No,” Finn said, stepping forward. He could see something else. A strange…static that seemed to cover the area before him, perhaps half a mile wide. It was difficult to detect, but when he payed attention he could see the red shimmers in the sky dancing around, fizzling and falling to the floor like embers from a flame. The sight of the crimson sparks sent shivers down his spine, but he pressed forward towards it.

As he reached the border, standing only a foot away, he heard the sounds of footsteps in the sand behind him.

“Don’t come any closer!” He shouted to Poe and Chewie. The two of them froze in place, but exchanged a glance. “You don’t know what this might do to you.”

Turning, he reached out one trembling hand and brushed it against the surface of the anomaly. It felt hot and raw, like he was touching a live wire, but between all of it he could feel Rey. She was in there.

He pushed gently, and felt his fingers poke through. The air inside immediately struck him as ice-cold, making him jerk his hand back.

“Are you okay?” Poe asked from beside him.

“I’m fine,” he assured him.

“Good, because you need to see this.”

Finn followed Poe’s finger to the spot where he was pointing, then narrowed his eyes. Were those…people? They were too far away for him to tell, but it looked like there were people inside.

“They just appeared when you touched the thing.” Poe said.

Finn pulled a pair of binoculars out of his bag and looked inside the dome, locking onto the silhouettes in the distance. The sight made his stomach curl. There were natives; Tuskens, Jawas, and people. They were floating a foot or so off the ground, and their eyes closed, as if they were in some sort of strange slumber, tethered to the anomaly. With a start, he recognised Jannah and Rose among them, still dressed in the same clothes that he’d last seen them in. That was why the messages stopped coming, he quickly realised. They’d been assimilated.

With a shudder, he looked for the person at the centre of it all, and then he found it. Rey was floating a few feet higher than any of the others, her long hair billowing around her, eyes wide open and glowing faintly. The white pieces of sheer fabric on her person were floating above her, forming translucent wings against her silhouette. She seemed strangely peaceful in that state, but Finn could feel the faint threads of energy around her, encircling her like a cloud of black smoke. Her hands hung behind her, and from one of them he could see something black hanging. Some kind of fabric, maybe a shirt. She seemed to be holding it tightly.

He lowered his binoculars and turned towards Poe, who looked more confused than ever.

“What did you see?”

“Rey, Rose, Jannah,” Finn said quietly. He handed Poe the binoculars and saw his expression shift to one of shock as he laid his eyes on the floating figures. “There are more people in there. I think they wandered in and got caught up in it or something.”

“Caught up in _what?_ ” Poe asked, bringing the binoculars down.

“I don’t—“ Then it clicked. “Dream walking.”

Poe shook his head. “What is that?”

“It’s a Sith technique, it was in one of the books in the kitchen. Something—or someone—is using her power to make this dome. Inside, it’s not Tatooine. Everyone in there is trapped in some kind of weird dreamscape.”

“So how do we get them out?”

Finn swallowed. “I have to go in and get her.”

Poe seemed astonished. “Why you specifically?”

“I’m the only Force-sensitive one here,” He said, glancing at Chewie. “If you two go in there, you’ll end up just like them. I might still have a chance to get her out.” He opened his bag and wrapped his hands around his sabre, then hooked it to his belt.

“Yeah, you _might._ That doesn’t mean—I mean is there no other way?” Poe asked.

Finn turned to face the dome. “I don’t think we have time to figure one out.”

There was silence between them for a long moment, until Finn felt Poe’s hand wrap around his own. “I understand. But you have to promise me you’ll be careful.”

Finn snorted. “When did you turn into the cautious one?”

The corner of Poe’s mouth twitched upwards. “I just want you be safe.” He said, tightening his grip on Finn’s shoulders. “You have a habit of putting yourself in the line of fire. And if I can’t go with you…then you have to promise me you’ll make it out alive.”

Finn felt his heart flutter at those words, and in a moment he’d wrapped Poe in a tight embrace. They stayed there for a little while, holding onto each other, feeling each other’s warmth. When they finally pulled apart, Poe’s eyes were glassy, and Finn could feel the water building up in his own.

“I promise.” Finn said, putting his forehead against Poe’s.

Then, their lips met. The kiss was filled with energy and love, it made Finn want to continue, go deeper, never let him go. But he had a mission. He had to save his friends from whatever dark forces had entrapped them.

“I’ll be in and out in an hour.” Finn said.

“I’ll be waiting.”

Then he stepped into the dome.

Once he was inside, everything seemed to happen in a blur. At first, he almost forgot why he had come. Part of his mind believed that the casino was real, that he’d actually come there of his own free will. Then he saw Rose and Jannah in the lower area of the casino, whispering to each other and playing cards with the other patrons. _I came here to save them._ He reminded himself over and over again as he dashed through the sprawling room, searching for Rey. _I came here to save them I came here to save them…I came…to…_ With every new step his body seemed to slow, as if he were trapped in honey. Everybody else seemed to move normally, so with a grunt he struggled up the steps towards the bar, the last place to go. His head was starting to ache, a crushing feeling that gave him the urge to lie down, give up, let the shadows take him in and make him just another puppet in this strange world.

Then he saw her, and he felt the weight lift off his shoulders. He ran towards her, sliding to a halt only a few feet away, and felt himself whisper her name.

“Rey.”

She turned and met his eyes.

He pulled her away from the distractions so they could finally talk. She said that she wasn’t being controlled—no, she’d done this herself. She wanted to be happy, she wanted to be happy with Kylo—Ben Solo. But he kept pressing. And something came over her. That same look he’d seen on her face almost a year on the rain-soaked ruins of the Death Star. Just before she’d thrown him aside.

He felt the air escape his lungs as Rey used the Force to thrust him through the walls of the casino. He did not stop flying backwards until he felt the electrical current sear his back. Then he hit the ground with a _thud!_ and groaned in pain. He stared at the sky for a long while, his head spinning with images of the casino lights, the mountain lake, a spider’s web of metal beams, and a lush green island. Something was ringing in his ears. But as he breathed deeply and felt the sand under his body, he was able to pull away from that onslaught of stimuli. As he brought himself up to his elbows, he grimaced and looked around. Poe and Chewie were sprinting towards him.

“Finn!! Finn, are you okay?!” Poe cried out, falling to his knees before him.

He nodded, feeling the ringing leave his ears. “I’m fine.” He managed.

“What happened?!” Poe asked frantically.

“I—“ Finn stammered, sitting up. Everything was so…so fuzzy. “It didn’t work.”

“Of course it didn’t work, look at the thing—“

Finn whirled around to see what Poe was talking about, and the sight made him swallow hard. The dome was larger and more visible now, covered in a thick sheen of red static that seemed to jut out in places like bolts of lightning. The energy emanating from the thing had gone from harsh to overwhelming. It took everything Finn had to stand up shakily and push away that feeling, that urge to just lie down and sleep for an eternity.

Rey’s scream echoed through his mind. _Get out._

“You really screwed this up,” he said to himself. Gingerly, he reached out and tried to touch the surface of the dome, but the moment his fingers made contact he felt a powerful wave of electricity hit him in the gut, causing him to scream with pain and stumble backwards into Poe and Chewie’s arms.

“Are you insane?!” Poe asked.

Finn looked down at his still-trembling palm. “I needed to know for sure. She’s not letting me go back in.”

“Rrrrraagggh?”

Finn bit his lip and shifted his gaze to the sand. “It’s all her.” She’d done all of this just to have one more chance with Kylo—Ben—whoever he was. The realisation made his heart ache. Rey was his best friend, he thought their relationship meant more to her than that. Yet she spent two years keeping secrets and hiding her true feelings, using _Sith_ techniques to bend the fabric of the universe to her whim, all because she didn’t think he’d accept either of them. He felt like an idiot. He’d been a self-absorbed idiot. Now there was no way for him to get her back.

“What about Rose and Jannah?”

“I…I don’t know.” He didn’t know if they were still in that trance or if they had some awareness of the situation. Jannah had at least some rudimentary connection to the Force too, maybe…maybe she could help. Maybe they still had a chance.

“We can leave it to them. For now, we need to evacuate people. If this thing is getting bigger, we can’t risk anyone else getting caught up in it.”

So, reluctantly, the trio returned to the Falcon and took off, encircling the dome and evacuating any villagers or stragglers that they could. Luckily the dome didn’t seem to grow any more, but he could still feel the dark energy that it was giving off. It felt like it was trying to suffocate him, drown him, kill him in the most painful ways imaginable. Every now and then he had to stop, then double over and hurl from the nausea. It didn’t fade until they went back to the homestead, miles away.

They camped out in the homestead for the night, but sleep eluded Finn as he continued to see the chaotic and terrifying things from his time in the dreamscape. Some were clear but others were continuously fading, shadows just out of his reach. Yet one memory was all too clear, as if it’d been burned into the front of his mind.

He’d seen the way her eyes changed, just before she threw him out.

Her eyes.

Her sickening yellow eyes.

* * *

The man in black stood at the centre of the town square, surrounded by crimson troopers with their blasters trained on the window of the ruined cantina. A silence befell the atmosphere, broken only by the sound of Rey, Ben, Rose, and Jannah breathing heavily while crouched behind the fallen tables.

“You have nowhere left to run. Come out now and I won’t hurt you.” He said. His voice was strong and sharp, and each word made the four of them suffer with terror. Rey turned and hazarded a glance through the window, barely raising her eyes above the table, where she saw the man standing tall and proud, surrounded by an entourage of red stormtroopers. He looked only slightly younger than Luke with his close cropped grey hair and bronze skin. The troopers around him were silent, their weapons trained on the wall behind her head. She stared at them for a moment, the way that they were perfectly positioned like game pieces on a board, waiting for the player to make their next move. Then one of them saw her and pulled the trigger. She let out a yelp and ducked as a red bolt whizzed over her head, creating a black hole in the stone wall before them. Then she fell to the floor, realising someone had pulled the criss-crossed fabric hanging from her belt.

“Are you insane?!” Jannah asked through gritted teeth when she sat back down.

Rey opened her mouth to speak, but then she shut it again and shuffled, avoiding her gaze. She wanted to say that the whole thing was her fault, that she’d take care of everything, but admitting as much would only cause more trouble. She had to figure out another way out.

“I still don’t understand what he wants.” Rose said from beside Jannah. Rey leaned over and furrowed her brow, seeing her friend rub her temples while clutching her blaster and crescent medallion for dear life. Her face was covered in soot, hair pulled back in a tight bun. She was dressed in a plain top with earthy brown pants, while her arms, torso, and legs were covered with the scratched silver armour that she’d put together herself.

Jannah was dressed much like the day Rey had met her, with a dirty yellow top and blue pants, all covered in leather armour befitting her skills. She already had her bow nocked with an incendiary arrow, ready to strike as soon as the moment was right.

Rey herself was dressed much like she normally was, with the old black sweater and some grey fabric for climbing, wrapped around one shoulder and drooping below her waist. Meanwhile Ben was dressed all in black—his leather jacket and pants hid straps and pockets for knives and blasters of all shapes and sizes. His face bore his moles, jagged scars and bruises from the fight, and his hair was sweaty and full of dirt from the scuffle on the way here.

“Perhaps I wasn’t clear before!” The man continued, shouting now. “Bring me the Skywalker and no one will get hurt. You have five minutes. After that, I will use the ion cannon.”

All eyes fell to Ben.

“Do you know this guy?!” Rose asked furiously.

“No, what are you talking about?!” Ben said, holding his hands up defensively. “I’ve never seen him before in my life.”

They didn’t buy it. Jannah was glaring at him, searching for a lie that Rey knew didn’t exist.

“Do you know him?” Ben suddenly asked. Suddenly, all three pairs of eyes were on her. Rey tensed, trying to piece together what had happened to lead the four of them to this place. They’d been chasing the man in black across the desert—no, he must have been chasing them. He and his seemingly endless band of troopers had cornered them in this place. Something about the…kids? Maybe the kids from Canto Bight? Or the strange man in Beskar armour flying through the air above them? A million thoughts and memories were running through Rey’s mind, but she shook her head. They had to settle things before the situation got out of hand. She’d figure out the story later.

“I really don’t,” She said quietly, reaching up to twirl a strand of hair hanging just past her shoulders. “But we need to get rid of him quickly.”

“Fine,” said Jannah, clutching her weapon. “I’ll take the first shot, you three sneak out through the door, then Rey you can—“

“No,” said Rey, her tone harsher than she’d meant it. “It’s too risky, I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“That’s sweet of you, but we can handle ourselves.” Jannah said coldly.

“Yeah…and what’s the worst that could happen?” Rose murmured to herself.

“You could literally die.” Ben retorted. He met Rey’s eyes, her increasingly desperate expression, then turned to the others. “Rey and I can take care of this bastard. You two need to hide.”

“Where exactly are we supposed to hide in this place?!” Jannah yelled, motioning towards the ruined structures and furniture around them.

“There,” Rey said quietly, pointing to a spot at the back of the room, where a large metal plate lay on top of the grey stone wall. “Under there, there’s a grate that leads to a large pipe. It’s an entrance to the tunnels. Wait there, we’ll take them down, that way if they shoot the cannon you won’t get hurt.”

“How do you know what’s under there?” Rose asked.

Rey felt her chest tighten, but she managed not to show her nervousness. She pointed to the floor. “I can feel life forms underneath us. There are a lot of tunnels on Nevarro, and that pipe leads right to them.”

Jannah opened her mouth in a challenge, but Rey tilted her head and regarded her coldly. She didn’t say anything else. Jannah and Rose looked at the floor for a moment, considering their options. They must have known there were none, so they exchanged another brief look and then nodded at Rey and Ben.

“Three minutes!” The voice echoed across the walls, sending a shiver down everyone’s spines.

“Let’s go,” Rey said through gritted teeth. One after another, they went to the spot on the wall, keeping their heads below the level of the window. With some effort, Rey and Jannah managed to lift the large metal plate off the wall, revealing a grate below, the metal pieces crossing over like a spider’s web.

“Now what?” Rose asked.

“I’ll open it,” Ben said, motioning for the others to move away. Rey watched him reach his hands out, concentrating to draw on the Force, directing every bit of his power to crushing the metal grate. She heard it shift with a _clank!,_ then saw the rusted grey pieces quickly split apart, peeling back like the layers of a fruit. He grunted with effort, his hands clenched but trembling, each vein visible to Rey’s eye. Then, he collapsed from the effort, having created a hole large enough for Rose and Jannah to sneak through.

The corner of Rey’s mouth twitched and she shuffled around in her position, feeling excitement build within her. It was such a basic way to use the Force. But the sight of him doing that, then turning towards her with a couple of beads of sweat running down his forehead...it filled her with that same hunger as when they’d exchanged their rings and kissed in the casino. She wanted to hold him, wanted to do so much more to him, but she resisted, instead allowing her friends to climb inside.

“We’ll tell you when we finish taking them down.” Rey said as Jannah crouched into the space. “Until then, stay underground.”

Jannah nodded. “Stay safe,” she said quietly. “I know you of all people will be fine, but—“ her eyes drifted towards Ben. “Keep an eye on her.”

Rey and Ben nodded in unison as she made her way inside, then quietly placed one of the overturned tables in front of the broken grate. It was far from the best protection, but maybe it would buy them a few minutes. When they finished, they ran until they were underneath the windowsill.

“One minute!” The man shouted outside.

Rey put her back against the wall and let out a breath, realising that her entire body was shaking. “Do we even have a plan?”

Ben shrugged. “You and I both know that I’m not one to create a strategy beforehand.”

Rey smiled to herself, then reached to her side and unhooked the lightsaber. It had been quite awhile since she’d used the thing, but she supposed that now was as good a time as any.

“Thirty seconds!”

“Okay, so we’ll run out the door and try to knock them back before they can blow this place up. Then we charge.” Ben said suddenly. It seemed like a foolhardy plan, but she couldn’t exactly think of any better options.

“Can we really take them all down?” She asked. “There are so many.”

Ben unhooked the weapon from his belt and smiled cheekily at Rey. “Well, there’s a certain beauty in not knowing how the battle will go.” He rested his hand gently on her lightsaber. “You get to take a leap of faith.”

Rey smiled and nodded, then took his hand in hers. They counted to five together and lunged towards the door, then stood up, thrust it aside with the Force, and exited the cantina, startling the troopers with the cannon.

Holding their arms out, they drew on the power of the Force together and let it build up in them, then released it in a shockwave that knocked over the first line of troopers and weapons. They toppled like dominoes, their blood-red armour staining the ashen floor.

“Let’s go!” Rey roared, activating her golden blade. It was a challenge, a threat to all of her enemies. She didn’t quite realise until that moment how much she’d been itching for a fight. It was the best way to channel her anger and guilt. She’d do everything she could to protect her friends.

But first, they would annihilate their enemies together.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Ben raise his own sabre and activate the bright blue blade and cross guards. It glowed brilliantly against the cloudless sky above them.

The troopers took a few steps back, but the man in black did not falter. He seemed to grin at them, then activated his own sabre. The black light that emerged seemed to be encased in a great deal of energy, crackling around the blade like lightning. For a moment, it seemed as though he was going to charge them, but he simply took a step back, his cape billowing around him like the wings of a malevolent bat. In the corner of Rey’s eye, she could see a new squadron emerging, ready to protect their leader.

“Cute.” Ben said, readying himself for the fight. Rey saw that the , so she shifted her footing, until they stood back to back. The crimson troopers circled them silently, some holding blasters, others with more melee weapons; spears, swords, and knives. Each one crackling with red lightning. The sight of the weapons sent a rush through Rey, as she knew immediately where she’d them before.

The warriors moved in, and the fight was on. Everything seemed to happen at once. They swung and parried the lightsabers at the close combat troopers, causing each one to drop like flies before they could even land a blow. As new fallen foes replaced them, Rey grabbed onto Ben’s thigh and let him bend over to raise her up, allowing her to kick the advancing soldier and toss her sabre, letting it cut through a line of them with an arc before returning to her palm. Her heartbeat was pounding through her ears as her boots touched the sand and she sprinted towards the remaining soldiers with blasters, using the Force to reflect their bolts back at them and cutting down those that remained. They didn’t even scream, but seemed to dissolve into smoke before her, leaving a pile of broken red armour at her feet. It stained the black ground like blood.

Turning, she saw Ben make quick work of the last three, leaving only the man in black between them. He barely seemed fazed by their feat, and instead stood calmly while they strode towards him from either side, ready to finish him off.

“You’re both quite impressive,” He said calmly, glancing at both of them with a sly smile. His face seemed…different now. His bronze skin looked paler, wrinkled, as if it were decaying before her. “But you can’t hurt _me_.”

The sight of him only filled Rey with more anger, and without another word she leaped forward with her lightsaber raised high above her head. On his other side, Ben did the same. But the man only smiled and blocked her blow with his sabre, while snatching him out of the air with his free hand. Rey fell back and rolled to her feet. Then she looked up and felt her breath catch in her throat. He was floating a few feet above the ground, his sabre below him and his hands clasped around his neck. The man was staring directly at her, grinning like a madman while he had him in a chokehold. He was putting on a show.

Rey let her shoulders rise and fall steadily, then tightened her grip on the lightsaber, feeling her cold rage and hatred course through her. Her eyes fell on Ben’s fallen sabre for a moment, then back to the man in black.

“Let him go.” She sneered, pointing her golden blade towards him.

“Why does it matter what I do? The Skywalker boy is as good as dead anyway.”

Her eyes fell on Ben and she swallowed. He was barely breathing, struggling to get even the most shallow of gasps out. She was running out of time.

So with a deep breath, she lunged forward, thrusting the sabre towards the man’s heart. He stopped her immediately, casting a barrier of faint red light between them that seemed to freeze her in place. She couldn’t move her feet or swing her sabre.

“You foolish girl,” The man in black said. His face was even greyer now, his eyes reflecting the gold from her blade and his cheeks sinking in, decaying even further by the second. “I can see your every thought. You can’t save your love, you can’t kill me, and you can’t—“

She flicked two fingers on her free hand, and Ben’s sabre activated and flew towards him, cutting him cleanly across the abdomen. Before he could utter his last words, the man’s torso fell to the earth and dissolved into smoke, leaving only his red and black armour and his shadowy black cape. Ben collapsed to the ground and took in breaths once more, panting hard, and Rey cried out his name and sprinted towards him, picking up his sabre on the way.

“Are you okay?!” She asked fearfully, gingerly touching his back. There was a tightness in her chest, brought on by the sight of him in this manner. She couldn’t lose him, not here, not again.

He bent over and coughed into the black sand, then nodded and shakily stood up with her. “I’m okay,” He said, finding his voice. “Is he dead?”

Her gaze fell to the black armour at their feet, barely visible against the volcanic floor. “He is. It’s over.” She said, turning to look at the square, now filled with a pile of blood-red armour.

Ben took a few steps forward and looked around, taking in the situation. Then he looked down and smiled slightly at the floor, as if lost in a memory. He kicked the arm of one of their fallen foes, but the red armguards only fell away, leaving empty black sand underneath. “It’s funny. This whole thing seems weirdly familiar.”

“Yeah,” She replied fondly. “Like the _Supremacy_. Before—“

“Not that.” He said sharply. Then he met her eyes, realising how harsh his tone was. “I didn’t mean it like that, I mean…it wasn’t that fun. You thought I was going to kill you, and I was _terrible_ to you after.”

Rey swallowed, remembering what had happened between them. _Please don’t go this way. We can rule together. Let it all die. You’re nothing._

_But not to me._

_Join me._

_Please._

“It’s okay,” She said with a low voice. “But we do make a great team.”

A shadow of a smile crept onto his face. “We do. But there’s something about this place…” He murmured, raising his eyes towards the horizon. He kicked another piece of armour around and hooked his sabre back onto his belt. “I knew someone who came to this planet.” He paused, then smiled softly to himself. “Grogu…” He said. “We played together sometimes when I was little. Before—“

“Before his father took him back.” Rey said quietly.

He looked at up at her, his expression blank. “How did you know that?”

“You told me the story.” She said immediately.

“I don’t think I ever told you about them.” He continued, reaching to scratch the side of his neck. “I only spent a few months with the kid. I didn’t even tell my parents much about him.”

“No, no I mean like—“ She held up her hand, the way she did in the hut, when they’d touched through the bond for the first time. “That night. We saw each other’s lives. Past and future.”

He glanced at his hand and blinked, his gaze growing cloudy. “That’s true, but…” He turned his head to take in the landscape of fallen armour and steam bursting out of geysers all around them. “Why are we here? We were having a good time on Naboo…then the casino…Nevarro seems like a strange place for a honeymoon, don’t you think? Or…was it our anniversary? And for us to end up fighting these people? When I don’t even remember how we got here—“ His gaze fell to the ground, then back to Rey. A shadow passed over his face. “Something’s wrong.”

_No._

Rey wrapped her hand around his and looked into his deep brown eyes, willing herself to smile for him. Yet his gaze seemed distant, and his brow was furrowed. She could feel it rising within him—the confusion, the anger, the fear, the clarity.

_No._

She wrapped her hand around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. “Nothing’s wrong. You’re just tired.” She murmured against his lips. Then their lips parted, and she pulled back a moment later, carefully monitoring his expression.

He stared blankly at her for a minute, then nodded and smiled softly. “You’re probably right.”

“Come on,” She said, sighing slightly with relief. “Let’s go get Rose and Jannah. Then we can go to the _actual_ honeymoon spot.”

They strode back towards the cantina, still blown to bits, and climbed through the broken window and stone wall, over tables and chairs until they reached the covered passageway. With a slight grunt of effort, they pulled the table aside and called out for their friends. Rey heard her voice echo through the large metal path, then waited for them to poke their heads out. With some effort, they managed to help them up safely.

There was very little conversation for the rest of the journey. When they left the ruins of the cantina, the armour was already starting to melt into the ground. The helmets sunk into the blackness like skulls on a battlefield, and in each spot, a new sapling seemed to emerge just as quickly. As they crossed the carved stone pillars to exit the square, she hazarded a glance back and found herself smiling fondly. The wet black earth was starting to be overrun with growing green willows. Pretty soon, the entire town would become one with the forest. The trees were already starting to clear the air of the pervasive scent of smoke. The thought of the hot land becoming a lush green paradise filled her with glee, but as her gaze rose towards the sky, she froze. The ship was flying past, directly into the maw of the crimson sun.

_Ignore it. Ignore it._

She whirled around, strode to the front of the group and directed them towards their destination. They followed quietly through the homes, the stone-laden road, through the marketplace bustling with humans and Jawas…until they reached an enormous round hut at the edge of the village. It stuck out like a sore thumb from the rest of the town, with its walls of woven branches and wood pillars that glowed warmly in the sunlight. The polished veranda was surrounded with growing chutes of grass on all sides, and the scent that filled the air brought back pleasant memories of Rey’s time on Ajan Kloss, exploring the jungle and connecting with its flora and fauna.

This hut was the perfect oasis. Inside, there was an inn on one side and rustic cantina on the other, with benches and tables carved of trees, and a bar on the far side with an array of drinks in red and black clay bottles. There were perhaps twenty other patrons in the room, some human, Tusken, and several species she didn’t recognise. As they strode through the centre and found a table, she knew that some of them were glaring at her. She didn’t know who any of them were, but they clearly knew her. The hooded figure especially. They were sitting a few tables away, but she knew immediately that their gaze was locked on her. The whispers were beginning to invade her mind, becoming one with that endless sea that had been tossing and turning since the ballroom. It made her fidget in her seat and rub her temples with frustration.

_Who are you? Why are you here? Who is he? Why are you doing this? Why won’t you leave? Leave. Let go. They won’t stay. They’ll leave you. They don’t care about you. You don’t deserve them. You don’t deserve this. You’re nothing but a—_

“Hey, are you okay?” Ben asked beside her. She looked down at her lap, where he’d put his hand on hers, causing the rings to glow just a bit brighter.

“I am now,” She said, finding her smile once more.

The rest of the evening passed with little interruption. The four of them ate together and exchanged stories and jokes until the suns had set outside and the stars began to dot the night sky. Rey kept her hand as close to Ben’s as possible throughout the dinner. His presence seemed to stave off the darkness that she felt in her mind, reducing the voices to the faintest of sounds, easily masked by the voices of the people around her. Finally, when the bar had cleared out enough and Rose and Jannah were laughing drunkenly, she suggested that they all find places to sleep for the night.

“We’ll stay here for a bit, you guys go have fun!” Rose said good-naturedly, wrapping her arm around Jannah’s shoulder. Jannah herself was swaying, humming a song about pirates and the stormy seas.

They got up from the table quickly and walked off hand in hand. Rey felt her heartbeat quicken with every step, until they reached the entrance, where an old woman was rummaging through some books under a desk.

“Umm, hello,” Rey said, leaning over. “We’d like a room.”

The old woman stood up, and the sight of her face and veil caused Rey to stiffen.

“Of course dear,” She said with a toothy smile.

Before Rey could respond, the woman reached back under the desk and pulled out a long key, which she dropped into her open palm. It felt cold to the touch, all rusted and brown, with a small tag at the end engraved with what looked like a butterfly.

“That will be twenty units!” The woman held out a bony hand towards her.

“Thanks,” Rey said flatly, reaching in to her pocket to pull out some golden coins from the casino. She set them on the top of the desk with a loud _clack!,_ half-expecting the woman to reject them outright. But she simply counted them and grinned at the couple.

“Thank you dear. I hope you enjoy your stay here with your…” Her eyes drifted towards Ben. “Friend?”

Rey bit her lip, feeling her entire body shudder. “He’s my husband.” She said sharply, taking his hand.

“I see…” She said, her gaze suddenly clouding over. Then she shook her head and pointed to the right. “Well, enjoy your time here with your _husband._ Your room is the third one on the right—“

“Thank you!” Rey called out, already pacing the hall. The circle seemed to go on forever, a line of warm, shining wooden walls and the moonlight lighting the edges of the dark floor in front of them, but _finally_ they reached the one with the matching symbol on the door.

Rey reached forward and shakily twisted in the key, then opened the door to reveal the room. It was quite plain, the walls made of the same wood as the rest of the place, with a few leaves poking out in the corners and a few potted plants on the shelves up above. In the centre, there was a single large bed, with a simple crimson quilt and a nightstand with a dim lamp just beside it. The ceiling was low, to the point that Ben had to lower his head to even get in the door. But she took a deep breath and took in the freshness, the flowery scent of the place. It was exactly the kind of place she’d always wanted to stay. Small, intimate, and utterly lacking in the smells of rust and sand.

“So,” Ben said. She turned around to see him take in the room. Then he grinned mischievously at her. “Where are you going to sleep?”

Rey smiled and went to close the door behind him, eyeing the hallway for any people before taking a deep breath and clicking it into place and turning the lock. When she turned around, Ben had taken a step closer to her and bent down, gently placing one palm against the top of the door. Rey swallowed and put her hands behind her back, feeling her heartbeat quicken like never before. The light in the room had dimmed slightly, casting a beautiful orange glow on his face.

He moved in closer until their faces were inches apart. “Well?” He asked, barely hiding his grin.

“I think you already know the answer,” Rey said flirtatiously, leaning into him. Their lips met, and immediately she felt her entire body shudder with passion. They were finally alone to do whatever they wanted. She let go of the wall and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, then yelped slightly when he lifted her up, wrapping one arm around to support her back, and the other her legs. She laughed as he carried her to the bed and set one knee down, allowing her to sit back on her heels on top of the quilt and continue kissing him.

Rey had dreamed of this moment many times before, when she’d spent many nights alone in the Falcon, longing for someone to touch her, hold her, embrace her, tell her that she was worth something. _You’re nothing. But not to me._ Despite how much she told herself that she was done with him, Ben Solo was all that she’d longed for. She wanted to find that connection again, that brilliant spark that they’d felt when they’d first touched each other in that storm-soaked hut. This…this was the culmination of everything she’d hoped for. The answer to those mornings when she would wake up, soaked in sweat, clutching her blanket and trying to take hold of a shade that had already faded away.

She shivered as he began to kiss her neck, his soft lips plucking at her rough skin, loving every inch of her and asking to be loved in return. A love she was more than happy to give.

She threaded her fingers through his sweaty, dirty hair and raised his face to meet hers, taking in every part of his face. His pale visage, clear mole-covered skin broken only by a jagged line, that gorgeous crooked smile and big beautiful nose. She leaned in and gently traced his scar up to his eye, taking in their warm colour, glowing ever so slightly like the flame in a hearth.

“You don’t know how long I’ve been dreaming of this,” She said softly, cupping his cheek ever so slightly, letting him shift on the bed until he was sitting on the bed and her legs were tangled in his. “I’ve wanted you since Ahch-To.”

Ben kissed her hand. “I know this sounds strange, but I’ve wanted you since Starkiller base. When you first saw my face.”

Rey felt her smile shift in and out, recalling the things she’d said, how terrible that day had been for everyone. She didn’t even realise that in the midst of everything…he’d fallen for her. The worthless, nobody scavenger who’d barely tapped into her own power. She stared at him for a long while, feeling like she might weep into his arms. A thought crossed her mind, one she hadn’t considered since that night. She’d abandoned him on the snow, bloody and scarred, knowing that she was to go back to his family. She could have brought him back…she could have made things right…why didn’t she?

“Hey,” He whispered, wiping a stray tear. “It’s okay. We’re here _now._ ”

She nodded and bit her lip, willing the tears to stop before they ruined the moment. “I know—“ She managed, feeling her overwhelming emotions subside. “Then let’s enjoy this.”

Their lips met, and everything around them disappeared. The flutter in her heart intensified, and she felt her knees weaken, causing her to melt further into his body, his breathing, his entire being. He felt so soft against his mouth, and with every breath, every moment that his tongue spent in her mouth, she grew hungrier. She wanted _more_.

As the kiss deepened, she reached behind and unbuckled her belt and fabric, tossing it aside so that it fell to the floor. Without hesitation, she pulled her black blouse off her chest and wrapped her fingers around Ben’s, feeling the silver ring and crystal scratch her skin as she brought it towards her chest. By the time she felt the discomfort, his hands were already under his shirt, cupping the underside of her bare breast.

“Let’s take it off,” She whispered against his lips. “ _All_ of it.”

With some awkward shuffling and laughs, the two of them were naked above the waist in front of each other for the very first time. Even her armbands were off, allowing him to gently touch her scar and send a shiver up her spine. Yet she felt no shyness, no hesitation, no shame at the thought of opening herself up like this to another human being. They had already seen into each other’s souls. Sex now was like a low-stakes game at the roulette table.

They both wanted so much more now, each of them fussing at each other’s pants, trying to slip their hands inside. After a moment of awkwardness, she opened her eyes. “Let’s do this right,” She said.

He rolled his eyes dramatically. “I don’t think there’s a right way to do this. It’s going to be messy.”

“I know but—“ She trailed off, then found her voice again. “I’m impatient.” She said, tucking his hair behind his ear. “I want you to go first.” She looked down at her earthy green pants, the spot of wetness that was forming in them, then looked back at him.

“Of course, _sweetheart,_ ” He said dreamily. “Your wish is my command.” He gently laid her back against the pillows, kissing her lips, her neck, her breasts, her stomach, gently removing her pants and underwear, moving down the length of the bed until he was on his stomach, staring right into her eyes as he gentle caressed her thighs and kissed the inside of them. Silently, she congratulated herself for shaving recently enough.

“Okay, go slow, we’ve never done this before—“ She jolted back as he laid a large hand on her abdomen and began to lick at her centre, sending wave after wave of pleasure coursing through her body.

“More…” She murmured, biting her lip and raising his eyes towards hers.

He kissed the spot again and smiled. “Just tell me when to stop.”

“Keep going,” She commanded.

So he did. Rey felt her entire body tremble as he continued licking and kissing the spot, filling her ears with the sounds of his mouth against her hot flesh. He was happy to do it, so eager to please her, and when he dug two fingers inside of her and sucked on the spot right above, she cried out and clutched the wooden headboard behind her, as though she was leaving her body. When she finally returned to herself, she arched her legs up and brought him back towards her, then kissed him again, tasting her own salty come in his mouth.

They continued doing it, taking turns on each other. When she finally lowered his pants and wrapped her mouth around his dick, she had to take a moment to adjust to the overwhelming size. Bigger than any portion she’d ever tasted growing up, but more appetising than any of them. He lay back into the pillows, arms outstretched as she licked and sucked up and down, gently cupping his balls with her other hand. He yelped a couple of times, reminding her that she was supposed to be _sucking_ , not _biting_ , and she grinned cheekily and continued until he moaned and had her let go.

She climbed on top of him and crawled over, ready to pounce like a predator while her entire body was alight with excitement and passion.

When they kissed again, he seemed more confident, ready to take that last step. So she let him flip her over until she was laying against the soft pillows once more. For a moment, she thought about how much nicer it would have been to experience this somewhere else. There were a number of places that came to mind, but she would have been happy to have her lift him up against the rough bark of a tree on Ajan Kloss. It was hard to come to terms with how _much_ she wanted something after she’d spent so long telling herself that she was stupid for feeling that way.

“Still with me sweetheart?” Ben asked, brushing the top of his hand against her cheek.

“Always.” She said, smiling softly at him. His eyes were glittering, and his entire body smelled damp and raw. She gently stroked his arm, then spread her legs once more. “It’s your turn.”

After a moment of awkwardness, she winced slightly, feeling it slide into her, deeper than she’d expected. He kissed her with the first stroke, and she heard him growl slightly as he pulled away, making her heart flutter even more. With the next few, she lifted her arms and wrapped them around his back, clinging for dear life. Her eyes were shut, her breaths were coming out harsh and deep. As he continued pressing into her, she found herself losing control once more, and she opened her eyes when he pulled back and brushed another tear away.

“Are you okay?” He asked, pulling away. Rey met his eyes, realising that his cheeks had become damp with tears.

She bit her lip and nodded, brushing her thumb under his eye. “You’re really here…with me.” She said.

_You stayed with me._

_You’re not just a shadow…you won’t let me be alone again._

“Never,” He murmured, kissing her hand. “I’m always with you.”

“Promise?”

He nodded. “I promise.”

She let herself cry this time, hold him and lock her gaze onto his as he continued thrusting his weight into her, faster and deeper. She wanted two badly to believe that it was forever, that this would last when she woke up, that they would never have to be alone again.

“Ben…” She whispered, bringing him down. He kissed her neck gently as his hips continued thrusting into hers and his sweat-soaked skin continued to rub against hers.

“I love you…” He said softly into her skin. “So…so much—“

Her pulse was pounding now, and she moaned loudly as he continued, faster and faster, every part of her body was on fire, all of her thoughts replaced by unashamed lust and love for him. Her soulmate, her dyad, the other half of the soul. For a moment, it felt so _real_ , like they were truly one being.

Then he let out a deep loud moan and let go, sending a stream of come onto the quilt, staining it white. The smell wafted above them, but Rey didn’t care. She sat up and kissed him softly while he murmured praise into her lips. That she was so strong, so brave, so beautiful and kind.

The kiss was interrupted by the sticky sensation under her foot, causing them to both look at the white spot that he’d left behind.

“Sorry about that.” He said.

“It’s fine,” said Rey immediately. They kicked off the quilt, leaving a couple of thinner layers of blankets underneath. She looked back up into Ben’s eyes, the way they were still sparkling with tears and his pupils had dilated so much that the warm brown had nearly turned black.

“You really mean it?” She asked, without touching him this time.

He smiled again. With his wet hair and sweat, he looked so much like…the way he did on Exegol. He was looking at her like she was his world, the light in his life, his tether to reality. She hoped he understood that she thought the same way when she looked at him. Her vision started to blur from tears again, but he brought his hand to her cheek and she tilted her head to fall into it. “Of course I do. I love you Rey. I love you more than anything.”

She kissed his cheek, feeling her heart flutter. “I know.” She whispered. “I love you too.”


	4. Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben Solo is frightened. He's having strange dreams of a place he does not know. When he wakes up, he starts to see that things are not as they seem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a special chapter from Ben's POV! I'm having a wonderful time creating this story, and I sincerely hope everyone likes what they see and is looking forward to future chapters!
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who's been reading and leaving kudos and comments. I haven't had the chance to go through them and reply, but I've been crying all morning from your kindness and love.
> 
> My update schedule has been a bit wonky so far, but in the future I'll try to update on Sunday mornings!

The pathway before him was dark and endless, each side lined with a ribbon of starlight.

Ben blinked, then looked down at himself. He was dressed plainly in a black sweater and pants, both covered in dirt and holes from scuffles. His feet were bare, and when he took a hesitant step forward, he saw the light ripple under him, as if the darkness was a still body of water. Looking around, he saw that other paths had begun to form before his eyes. They criss-crossed over each other in all directions, jutting out until they faded into the distance and became indistinguishable from the faint white stars.

He took a deep breath and walked along the path, his mind and heart racing. Several times, he called out for someone, for Rey, his family, anyone. He heard nothing, not even the echo of his own voice.

The further he walked down the path, the more the landscape seemed to form around him. There were round gates manifesting before his eyes, a new one every few metres, each born from the same white light surrounding him. Some had markings of languages he did not know, others seemed to contain constellations of animals. Birds, wolves, lions, and so many more that seemed to run in endless circles around the thing. At some point, his curiosity overcame him, and he stepped towards the edge, hoping to reach out towards one.

The path split instantly, giving him a platform to stand on. His shoulders rose and dropped as he stood before the gate, staring at the void inside. A cool breeze flowed out of the gate, causing him to jerk back momentarily. As he straightened himself, he watched with bewilderment as the darkness cleared away, revealing a shining stone wall, dark as obsidian. It was covered in scars and cracks, and when he reached forward to brush his fingers against the surface, it felt icy to the touch. He could see his own face reflected against the surface, covered in open wounds, scars, and bruises. Yet there was something else, a shadow that was growing larger by the moment, as if there was someone on the other side.

His heartbeat quickened. Yes…there was someone there, and something about their presence made him feel…strangely at ease. The shadow grew closer, obscuring his own reflection, whispering to him _let me see them…please…_

Ben Solo swallowed and let his hand mirror hers. Gently, he pressed his palm against the surface, silently praying for the same thing that she was crying out for.

Their hands met for a moment, even through the wall, and as the spark coursed through him, he watched the shadows melt before his eyes, clearing the cracks in the stone until he saw himself. Eyes closed, pale and grey, lips blue, and motionless. His eyes widened and he drew in a breath, realising what it all meant.

“No…no…” He whispered to himself, stumbling backwards. His mind was racing, his chest was tight with horror, and in a moment he had crossed the starlight lining the trail and fell into the void. The path was growing further away, the stars were vanishing before his eyes while the darkness wrapped its tendrils around his body and pulled him deeper…deeper…he tried desperately to claw his way out, to no avail. He opened his mouth to scream, but all that came out was silence. He felt like he was drowning, he couldn’t get any air in or out, it would be better if he just…let…the darkness…take him…

Then something appeared, intense enough to draw his focus.

A bright, golden light, shining far above him. For a moment, it filled him with a surge of strength, enough to claw his way out, reach up to catch one of its rays—but the darkness was more powerful. It wrapped itself around him once more and pulled him down, further and further away.

* * *

Ben shot up in the bed, panting and staring at the thin blanket covering his naked body. It took him a minute to recuperate, remember why he was naked, and why he was in this strange rustic room at all. To his right, Rey was still sleeping soundly, with one hand still reaching out towards him. He smiled and twined his fingers in hers, feeling his pulse settle down immediately.

“Mhhmmmm…” Rey managed, shuffling to be closer to him. He lowered his head back onto the pillow and let her lay closer, wrapping her in a gentle embrace. They lay there like that for a few minutes, while he stared at the wall blankly, massaging her bare arm with his hand. When he brushed his fingers against her scar, she tensed slightly, as if she was feeling the pain for the first time. He lowered his hand and let himself sink into her warmth, her light. The shadows were dancing along the walls in front of him, leaping and running like the starry wolves encircling the gate. The gate…the stone…the shadows, that fading sunlight. The memory sent a shudder through his body.

“Wh—what’s wrong?” Rey whispered, eyes still shut.

He nuzzled her hair softly, still holding her tight. “I’m gonna go stretch my feet.” He whispered. The images from the dream were still playing through his mind, still haunting him. He needed to get some fresh air. “Are you okay alone?”

She didn’t open her eyes, but moaned slightly and wrapped her arm tightly around his waist. “Mmmmm stay with me,” She murmured against his skin.

He smiled and embraced her tightly. “Just for a minute.”

“Noooo…” She said tiredly, leaning in closer to him.

He gently lifted her arms off of him, then reached up to tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear. “I’ll come back for you sweetheart, don’t worry.”

She nodded slightly and curled in slightly, like a child hugging their own body for warmth. “Promise?” She whispered.

He kissed her forehead. “I promise.”

With some effort, he was able to help her settle back into bed. He tucked in the blanket around her body, then silently picked up his dark pants, shirt, and boots and put them on his body. As he slowly stepped out of the room, the creaking of the door caused Rey to toss and turn for a moment, but then he quietly closed the door and began walking through the hallway.

It was late at night now, and as he stopped to lean against the windowsill he could see the moon high above, casting its glow onto the landscape. The…swamp-covered landscape? He blinked. No…no it was just the greenery surrounding the hut. Beyond that it was just miles of the black sands of Nevarro. The smell of ash still permeated his nostrils, even through the dampness. When he poked his head through the window curiously and looked up, he could see that rainclouds were beginning to come together, swirl and take shape. It would be pouring soon enough.

Ben sighed and straightened himself, still gripping the windowsill but staring blankly at the landscape, lost in thought. His memory of the dream was fading with each passing second, but he could still see flashes. The starlit path, the round gate, the way that the shadows melted to reveal…to…reveal…

He looked down at his palm. It was shaking. But he couldn’t remember why. He let out an exasperated sigh and leaned his head back, groaning as a dagger of pain shot through his forehead. What was wrong with him? Was it the stress of the day? Or was he just going crazy?

_Nothing’s wrong, my love. Everything’s fine._

“Calm down.” Ben murmured to himself. “Everything’s fine.”

He shook his head and continued walking through the hallway, hands in his pockets. The whole place was empty, the only sounds coming from his footsteps on the polished wood. He could have sworn that there were more people than that in the bar, but was he wrong? And--wait, wasn’t the hallway shorter than this? It felt like he’d been walking for hours in that endless circle.

He glanced at the window again and felt his heart skip a beat. There was…something on the windowsill. A blue butterfly, glowing faintly against the dark tapestry of the cloudy sky. Ben couldn’t help but smile nostalgically at the sight. Carefully, he walked to the creature and reached out his open palm, beckoning it towards him. It fluttered its wings slightly, sending a flurry of blue sparks through the air, then climbed onto his finger and into his palm. He twisted his hand delicately, letting it move around for a moment. He remembered doing the same thing as a child, with Dad and Uncle Chewie. He was still hurt that Mom and Dad didn’t come to the ball on Naboo. He supposed they had better things to do, but more than anything he wished he could see them one more time. Hug Mom, tell her that he was sorry. Tell Dad he loved him.

_Dad._

Han Solo’s face. When he was young, holding Ben. Playing in a field together. Laughing during his first flying lesson. Wishing him a happy birthday.

His face, twisted with shock. Engulfed in red light.

Ben’s own voice, deep and distorted. _What do you think you’ll see?_

_The face of my son._

The hiss of the lightsaber, Dad wincing from the pain. He was falling.

Ben felt himself jerk back, fall onto the floor from a blast of Snoke’s lightning. The bond. Rey’s eyes, brimming with tears that fell like the sparks around her.

Him, on his knees. Broken. Staring up at her radiant face, now stiff with disappointment. Over what _he_ did.

Exegol. Pasaana. Denying his feelings for far too long, hiding behind that mask once more. Fighting his knights. Climbing through the pain, hugging her lifeless body. Kissing her. Clasping her hand within his own.

_Ben._

He was standing on the precipice of the Death Star ruins, staring into the eyes of his father once more.

He felt a hand on his cheek, a tear roll down. _I know._

Ben shuddered, then looked down at the butterfly. Before he could do or say anything, it flew off of his palm and out the window, leaving a trail of sparks in its wake.

_Come back._ He wanted to say. But no sound came out. Alone once more, he touched his own cheek, trying to recapture the warmth he had once felt. But his own skin was ice-cold.

With one last glance at the open window, he continued walking through the hallway, until he rounded a corner. There were voices nearby, echoing, though he didn’t know what they were talking about. As he arrived at the front of the hut, he turned to the desk. Empty. Wasn’t there an old woman, an innkeeper…the same one who asked who Rey was at the ball—

A wave of pain tore through his head, making him rub his temples. It seemed to whisper to him _nothing’s wrong, you’re okay. Enjoy this world. Enjoy this life._

Ben’s ears were ringing as he stepped into the light of the bar. Jannah and Rose were still there, alone, standing by the table and speaking to each other in hushed tones.

“I still don’t understand why she would do this,” Rose said through gritted teeth.

“And you think I do?! I barely know her.” Jannah replied angrily. “She never talked about this guy to you before? Not once?”

“Never. I thought you would have some idea, you said he looked familiar.”

“Uhh…” Ben said, stepping towards them, but they didn’t seem to register his presence.

“What’s going on here?” He said, raising his voice. They instantly whirled around, both stiff as he strode towards them, hunched over with his hands back in his pockets.

Rose’s eyes widened. “Ben. Hi.”

“Hey.” He replied awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. “How are you two err…holding up?”

The two women exchanged a brief, nervous glance.

“We’re fine,” Jannah said, sounding colder than he expected. “Where’s Rey?”

“She’s asleep,” He replied, his gaze darting between them. There was a silence between the three of them for a moment, broken only by the sound of raindrops beginning to hit the window. One, then another, then the downpour began.

“Good,” Rose said, turning to Jannah. “Maybe he can help us.”

Jannah rolled her eyes. “He won’t do anything.”

“Help you with what?” Ben asked, crossing his arms.

Rose turned back to him and met his eyes. “Ben…I need you to listen to me and _focus._ What do you remember, going back to Naboo?”

He gulped, suddenly feeling a new wave of pain. Different, a crushing sensation in his forehead. “What do you mean?”

“I need you to tell me exactly how you got to the lake palace.”

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, running through every memory he had once more. Flashes and years went by, his parents, Luke, Snoke, Rey, the Emperor, darkness.

Her hand.

He couldn’t remember anything else after that…only opening his eyes to the morning sun on Naboo. Walking up to Rey and holding her tightly in his arms.

He looked up at the women and shook his head, feeling heavy-hearted. “Maybe I was just sick or something, I’m sure everything’s…fine.”

“Then let’s try an easier exercise.” Jannah crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. “What were we doing this morning? Before the incident at the cantina?”

“We were—“ He started to say, but then he realised he couldn’t remember. It was all a blank, all he could see before him was the starlit pathway in the void. “I don’t remember.” He said hazily.

She looked down, then back up at him, tapping her foot now. Desperate for a real answer. “You spoke to Finn in the casino, right? Did he say anything to you?”

“Yeah, I—“ He blinked, only half-remembering the conversation in the midst of that drunken haze he’d been in. “I know I said hello to him. Where is he, anyway?”

“He’s gone.” Rose said, her voice low.

“Gone, how, he—“ Ben said, suddenly feeling rigid. His eyes fell to the far side of the window. A flash of red sparks. The golden casino wall—no, the window again. His head was pounding. “No, no I saw him. He left. He had to go…home.”

Jannah shook her head. “No, that’s not what happened. Rey kicked him out.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I mean, she _kicked him out._ ”

“I don’t—“ He couldn’t remember that. Most of his memories of Canto Bight were hidden in a thick layer of fog, brought on by his drunken stupor…but, when Jannah said that, he remembered something. A scream. Someone falling backwards. Rey, frantic, telling him that it was time to leave. Was it possible? Did something happen and she blocked it from his memory?

“Forget it, I know you and her are friends but I’m not coddling him.” Jannah said angrily to Rose. She whirled back to meet his eyes, now sneering. “ _Ben Solo_ , I need you to look outside the window right now and tell me what you see.”

He frowned and glanced up, then let out a small gasp. Beyond the rain-soaked glass, he saw the landscape covered in swampland once more. “Tall grass.” He said blankly. “Small ponds, some overgrown bushes and trees. There are a few huts…and a forest.” It seemed to glitch in and out for a moment, reverting to the previous volcanic state. But now it was truly there. Like they’d been on this planet all along.

_Grogu…_ Rey had said that she knew about Grogu. She’d discovered the story when their minds had bridged. Ben remembered hearing another tale from the child, about the time he’d spent with his father and the woman he loved—Omera—in the village on the swamp-covered planet Sorgan. This landscape looked exactly like how he’d described it.

“You understand now.” Jannah said, tearing his gaze away from the window. “The environment keeps changing. First Naboo, then Canto Bight. Now this. Is that a normal thing that happens in nature?”

Ben opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again. He knew what would happen if he answered the question.

“It’s not.” Jannah said immediately. “You already know that.” Her voice was laced with sarcasm.

“Jannah—“ said Rose.

His head was pounding now, heart racing, and his hands were trembling at his sides. Why was she saying this? What was she trying to do?

“What does this—“ He said, gesturing to the window. “—have to do with Finn and Rey?”

“Only four people here know that something is wrong. Us three, and her. Finn did too. And out of all of us, she’s the only one in control of the environment.” Said Jannah.

He swallowed hard. “Why would you think that?”

“Because you’re here.” She said icily.

That made his blood run cold. “What are you talking about?”

“Everyone else here is a living person on Tatooine. Rose and I came here from Coruscant three days ago. That makes you the odd man out.”

_She’s feeding you lies. She wants to hurt you._

Rage began to flare up within him. That voice, he knew that voice.

“Why did you come?” He asked sharply. “Why are you here?”

Jannah’s eyes widened. But there was something new there, not anger or fear, but…recognition.

The two of them glared at each other for a moment as the rain continued to fall outside, harder and faster.

“ _Look_ , I don’t know what’s going on between you two, but Ben, you need to talk to Rey. You have to wake her up _now_. She won’t listen to us.” Rose said frantically.

“And if I choose not to?”

“Ben, we can’t live like this. We’re all—“ She stopped mid sentence, as though some unseen force was silencing her. “We’re all—“

“We’re all what?” A voice said from behind them.

Ben turned to see who was there. Rey was standing at the threshold, her hair long and messy, her eyes sparkling, face half-hidden in the shadows. She was barefoot, wearing only her top and earthy pants, and had the thin blanket wrapped tightly around her like a dark cloak. A bolt of lightning fell outside and caused the lights around them to flicker, making her hazel eyes glow a deep…gold…in the darkness.

“What’s going on here?” She asked, her voice like a dagger scraping against stone.

Ben’s gaze darted towards Rose and Jannah, who stood frozen behind him.

“We—“ An image flashed through his mind, superimposed on his reality. Rey on the rain-soaked ruins, holding the blue lightsaber. A flash of fury. Yet there was no ferocity here, but a colder kind of anger. Then fear. Desperation.

_Ben…don’t do this Ben. Please don’t go this way._

He swallowed hard, realising he’d started to extend his hand towards her. “I was just wishing Rose and Jannah goodnight.”

Rey raised an eyebrow. “Really?” She strode in front of him and put an arm out, blocking the way to the other two. “I thought you would both be asleep by now.”

“What will happen when we go to sleep?” Rose asked suddenly. “Where will we wake up in the morning?”

She didn’t respond.

“Look, Rey, I don’t know what you’re doing, but this is _wrong.”_ She continued, her tone desperate now.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about—“ said Rey, wrapping her arm tightly around Ben’s waist. Her presence made his anger settle, but he still felt a profound sense of unease, some urge to flee before things got ugly.

“Rey—“

“We’re not doing this anymore, whatever game you’re playing, you need to let everyone out.” Jannah interrupted angrily. She pointed a finger accusingly at Ben. “You can’t use us as your playthings because you can’t accept that your boyfriend _Kylo Ren_ is—“

“Jannah NO!” Rose exclaimed, reaching out for her.

Rey tilted her head, then flicked her wrist at her side, creating a small burst of red lightning.Jannah froze on the spot, unable to finish her sentence. Then, Rey waved her hand, and she collapsed to the floor.

“JANNAH!!” She screamed, reaching for her limp body. Another flash of lightning. Rose began to sway.

Ben tore away from Rey and wrapped Rose in his arms, gently lowering her to the floor beside Jannah. He glanced up and felt his chest tighten with fear and guilt. She stood perfectly still, holding her cloak, regarding the three of them coldly. Another image flashed through his mind. The dice. Staring up at Rey through the bond as she shut the door. Her icy demeanour.

A new wave of pain tore through his head. “What have you done?” He asked.

Rey took a small step towards him, her brow furrowed. “I didn’t hurt them, if that’s what you’re worried about.” She said quietly. She looked down at her friends’ limp forms, and the corner of her mouth twitched upwards. “They’ll wake up soon and forget all of this. Then everything will be perfect.”

“ _Perfect?!_ What are you—“ Then it all clicked. “This isn’t real…is it?”

That struck a nerve. She tightened her grip around the blanket, searching for an expression, swallowing hard, her breathing growing rapid. “Ben—you—you’re wrong, this—“

“This is a dream.” He whispered, his mind suddenly clear.

She swallowed hard, trying desperately to smile to no avail.

He took a step back from her, feeling his blood suddenly run cold. When he opened his mouth, his voice came out in a rasp. “Rey, you can’t do this. We can’t live like this. You have to wake up.”

His tone startled her, and she backed away at first, unable to meet his eyes. Then she took a deep breath and returned his gaze, smiling this time. She reached out and touched his face lovingly, caressing the scar under his eye. “I can’t do that.” Rey whispered brokenly. “I need more time.”

He placed his hand on hers, feeling the crystal of her wedding ring under his palm. “We don’t have to stay here. We should be out there, in the real world. Together.”

She smiled, her eyes sparkling. “There’s nowhere for us to go. “A tear was beginning to fall down her cheek. “ _This_ is our home now. It’s the only way for us to be happy.”

He smiled sadly at her. “Rey, you know that’s not true.”

She curled her fingers around the back of her neck and kissed him, then whispered against his lips “We deserve to be happy.” Ben instantly felt heartbeat race, a million memories running through his mind before it all came to a halt. When she pulled back, all he saw was her lovely face. The world around them had disappeared, Jannah, Rose, everyone. Aside from Rey, there was only the void. _She_ was his light.

“I know we do, sweetheart.” He said dreamily, running his fingers through her hair. “We deserve to be happy. Together.”


	5. Bonfire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once upon a time, there was a boy and a girl. Two lonely souls, who found each other one faithful night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was originally going to be a short preface to chapter 5, but it ended up being way longer than I expected, so I thought it would be nice to make it its own thing and publish it tonight! Enjoy :)

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who was left behind on a desert planet.

She did not understand why, but she remembered her parents telling her that it was for the best. That they would come back for her. If she stayed where she was, everything be alright. Someday.

The girl also remembered other things. The sound of shattering bottles. Her little straw doll dancing in the air at her command. Slurred words. Screaming and crying. Mother and Father whispering in the dead of night, when they thought she was fast asleep. Speaking of trades and sales, and finding a new home for the two of them. Even at a young age, these memories made her heart hurt. So she learned to lock them away in a box and bury them deep under the sand. Truths she had once known but chose to forget.

No one showed her kindness when she was on her own. They spat at the child and called her mean names. Sometimes they stole her food, sometimes they hit her (like her parents once did). Even the burly man who held her while she watched the ship fly away…he did not save her from the other scavengers’ cruelty. He always met her eyes with a sneer. Work and you will get portions. Go scavenge on the star destroyer. Find a bucket to sleep in.

Eventually, she found a bucket. An enormous metal creature, tipped over and half-buried in the sand. It reminded her of a sleeping camel. Slowly, the girl made it into her new home. She traded for food and blankets, and decorated the space with treasures she found in the ruins around her. A staff to beat the mean traders who tried to take her food. A new straw doll so that she could have a friend. An beautiful old jewellery box. A dried out desert rose. Her favourite was the helmet that once belonged to a fighter pilot named Rae. It made the girl smile, because she knew that their names were alike. She wore it every day as X-wings flew high above her, mimicking the sounds they made and imagining the fantastic stories that a pilot would tell.

Sleep was hard. When the girl closed her eyes, she tried to think of other places where she would rather be. She often dreamed of an island, a beautiful green island in the middle of a calm blue ocean. But more often than not, she was plagued with visions of shadows and lightning. One night she opened her eyes and sat up, feeling her body shudder from the cold night air. She hated being alone. She missed the feeling of her father holding her tight, and her mother caressing her hair. That night, she couldn’t take it anymore, so she left her little home and walked to the outpost in search of a friend. When she climbed over the mountains of sand to get to the tents, she was surprised to see a light in the middle of it all. It was a fire, warm and welcoming. The sparks danced in the dark sky, becoming one with the bright stars above.

There were people around the fire. Grown-ups. Many of them were new to her, probably traders who were stopping by for a short time. Some of them held clay bottles and drank deeply from them. She hid from those men, crouching behind the empty tables, waiting for someone kind to appear. To her surprise though, the stuff in the bottles did not make them angry or sad, but it made them laugh. They told each other stories of their travels, and stories passed down from their friends and families. The girl remained hidden but eagerly listened to every one.

The human man with grey hair—older than Father—spoke fondly of his time in the war. How he knew Han Solo—the war hero— _personally_. The other men said he was lying, but he swore it was true. He told them about more people from the war. Lando. Leia. Luke. Many “L” names made it easier for the girl to remember.

There was a green-skinned man with long tails attached to his head. He a hearty laugh and a wide belly. She knew him already from the market, but she had never seen him laugh before. He told stories about the people he’d met on a planet called Canto Bight. The way that they always ate until their bellies were full, danced the night away and slept through the mornings, and never had to work a day in their lives. The girl wanted to be like that. She was already sick of working, and she hated sleeping with a grumbling belly.

She hid for hours listening to the stories, making notes of the names and planets, and did not move until the firelight had vanished and the travellers and traders wished each other goodnight. Then she returned to her giant metal camel and repeated the tales to herself, adding in details and characters until she could finally fall asleep and dream about them all over again.

The girl went back the next night. Then again, then the night after that. She did this for weeks, even though doing so meant she was tired the next morning. She wanted to find more stories. They allowed her to sleep, to dream. Each time, there were new travellers. New storytellers. Some seemed kind and told the most beautiful love stories, or simply described the wondrous planets they’d visited. Many spoke of beautiful green planets like Naboo. Takodana. Kashyyyk. Chandrila. The girl had seen so little green in her life, beyond the dirty fabric that she wore. She decided that she liked the colour green. When her parents returned, they would go see the green planets together.

Some of them told incredible tales about heroes of legend. Fighter pilots like the one whose helmet rested by her bed. Great warriors with swords made out of starlight, called the Jedi. Only a few remained, one of whom was _Luke_. The war hero that the older man had spoken of.

There was one traveller she did not like. A big bald man with a blue face who told the scariest of stories. He spoke of terrifying animals—monsters who would devour anyone who crossed their paths. Scarier still, were the people he’d met. People his parents and grandparents had known. Enemies of the Jedi. Demons who would wielded swords of red fire. They used dark magic to suck the life out of children and summon storms from thin air. He called them the _Sith._

The other men did not believe him, so they asked questions. He started yelling at them, making the girl wince. It’s all true, he swore, all of it. One of them had even hired him for a job. Was it a bad job—no—he was just the pilot, moving people around. But someone _died_ on his ship. An assassin had captured and killed a man and a woman. He was looking for someone else too, but he could not find them. The assassin seemed scared, the man said. His boss would not be too happy. The Sith do not tolerate failure.

The little girl felt her heartbeat race as he spoke of the man and the woman, and for a moment, the worst thought crossed her mind. It made her sit up suddenly, and she slammed her head against the table, drawing their attention.

When the storytellers found her, groaning and rubbing her head, they were surprisingly kind. In fact, they were the first ones to show her any kindness at the outpost. Someone called out that she was the little scavenger at the market, the one that worked for Unkar Plutt. When they helped her up and asked her where her parents were, she felt tears form around her eyes.

She’s alone, they murmured amongst themselves. What kind of lowlifes would leave their kid here? One woman asked loudly before taking a swig of her bottle.

My parents are coming back! She yelled at the woman. They promised they would!

No one comes back to Jakku, kid. Said the woman. She took another drink. Your parents are long gone.

The girl was crying now, so they brought her to the fire. They asked why she had come, and she said that it was because she liked hearing the stories. Do you have any of your own to tell?—they asked. She shook her head. All of her tales were taken from others, scavenged like the treasures in her camel. She didn’t have any of her own.

Do you want to hear another story? The blue man asked.

She backed away from him. You tell the scary stories, she said. I don’t like them.

Laughter erupted from the group.

Then someone offered to tell one of his own, and beckoned the girl towards him. He was sitting on the far side of the fire with his legs criss-crossed. His face was hidden by a dark hood, but he took it off as she got closer, and she saw that it was hairless and pale. His skin was covered in patchy scars, some old and some new. It was as if some mean person had pushed him into the fire long ago.

What kind of stories do you like? The man asked. His voice came out in a rasp, but it was kind, caring. Gentle.

She sat down next to him and held up her staff to the flame. I like the Jedi. She said.

He smiled. I have plenty of tales to tell about them. What else do you like?

She thought about it for a moment. Love stories. She finally said. And green planets.

Aaah, the man replied. I know exactly which story to tell.

The rest of the travellers and traders leaned in as he began his tale. It was about a little boy who grew up in a desert like this one, on a planet called Tatooine. He was taken in by the Jedi warriors and trained to be like them. But they did not want him to fall in love.

Why not?!

Because they thought it would distract him from his job. But he fell in love anyway. With the beautiful queen of Naboo, Padme Naberrie.

She listened keenly as he told the rest of the story, detailing the hidden marriage, the peace and jealousy, and all of the adventures they had together with their Jedi friends. But then a shadow passed over his face. He said that the boy lost things too. He lost his mother, and years later he saw a vision, a vision that told him he would lose his wife. He became angry and scared, and that made him join the _Sith._ He lost his friends and became a warrior of the dark side.

That’s not a good story, She said with a huff. Why did he become a Sith if he had love? Why was he so angry? Why didn’t he get help from his friends?

The man held up a gloved hand. Patience, he said calmly. This story has a happy ending. He and his wife had children, you see. He fell to the dark side because he chose power over her. He became a Jedi once more by choosing love, and saving his son. And he and his children lived happily ever after. One of them was named Luke. The other was named Leia.

The war heroes?! She exclaimed.

Yes yes, now calm down. The man said with a twinkle in his eye. Luke was all grown up now, training a new generation of Jedi at a temple. Leia was fixing up the galaxy and raising her family, with her husband and son—a bit older than you, young lady. Maybe you can meet him one day.

Really?! She asked excitedly. There were hardly any other children or teenagers on her planet, and none of them wanted to play with the dirty little girl. Maybe she could play with this boy. Maybe they could be friends.

The man wished her good night and safe travels, but when he offered to help her find her way back, she said no, I’m fine. I know the way. She skipped home, sometimes stopping and thrusting her staff into the sky like a sword. Like she was one of the Jedi. But then she tripped and fell and rolled down a dune until her mouth was full of disgusting sand. She groaned and stood up, coughing and spitting and wiping herself clean, then saw something had fallen in front of her. Strange blue sparks.

The girl looked up curiously, then tilted her head at the sight. A blue winged creature, fluttering in the air, facing her. She yelped as it approached her, but did not feel threatened by it. It seemed to whisper to her with every flap of its glowing wings.

Hello, it said. Can we be friends?

She nodded and reached out her hand, and the little thing landed right on her finger, making her giggle for a moment. Then, as quickly as it had appeared, it flew away. Come back, she whispered. She reached out to it, hoping it would come back…but she pulled her arm in when she realised it was not going to listen to her.

By the time she got home, the moon was beginning to fade and the stars were vanishing one by one. When she lifted the cloth covering the entrance, she felt her heart stop. Someone had broken in, stolen her rations for the week, and ripped her little bed apart. She could have stopped it from happening, if only she’d stayed. The realisation made the girl weep, but it also made her realise that things needed to change. She did not go back to the bonfire the next night. Instead, she stayed in her home, holding her staff at the ready. It was hard to sleep again, so she told herself the stories of the Jedi. That seemed to help. She thought about Luke and his temple. Maybe it was on a beautiful green island, like the one from her dreams. Yes, with stone huts and large trees and a cave that would lead to treasure. She thought about the boy that the traveller had mentioned, the son of Leia. She silently hoped that he was in a better place than she was. His Mother and Father could tell him all of the Jedi stories he would ever want to hear.

She closed her eyes and tried to get in a few precious moments of slumber, but her mind was plagued by frightening images once more. The Sith, bright red lightning, dark magic, silver ships and blue winged creatures flying away. Mother and Father, their faces hidden in the shadows, smiling. Telling her that it was for her own good.

She shot out of bed in a panic, and sat breathing for a moment as the sunlight streamed in through the door and illuminated the wall behind her. She looked up at the bare metal that reflected her face, covered in dirt and sweat and tears, and clenched her fists at her side. Then she looked around until she could find something sharp, something with a point.

Once upon a time, there was a little girl on a desert planet. Her name was Rey, and she was a scavenger. She was waiting for her parents to come back, just like they said they would. So she told herself stories to pass the time, and began marking her wall. One line every morning.

Waiting for the day they would return.

* * *

Once upon a time, there was a boy who was torn between the darkness and light.

This was not his own choice, no, destiny had written that story before he was even born. It was said that even when he was in the womb, his mother could feel his life force like a bright band of starlight entangled in shadow.

Still, he was happy at first. He loved his mother and father dearly, but wished that they could spend more time playing with him at home. When they were with him, things were perfect. His father lovingly called him his little bandit. He taught him how to fly, and carried him on his shoulders through the fields and forests near their home. He liked the forest, the blue butterflies lived there. They were kind to him, landing on his skin and arms and covering him with their sparkling blue dust. His mother would sit with him late at night after the nightmares woke him up, holding him and calling him her little angel. She told him stories of her home planet, long gone but remembered by many. She told him all of the Alderaanian myths that she knew, and his favourite was the story of Grimtaash the protector. She told him stories that her adopted father once told her, all about the adventures he’d had, the wars he’d fought in, and the many Jedi he’d come to know. Including the boy’s grandfather and his best friend, the Jedi he was named after. She said that’s what her name meant. Hope. Just like the old Jedi master.

Wow! Exclaimed the boy. Can I meet them?

His mother’s smile fell. No, she said. They died a long time ago. But I will tell you more about them when you’re older. Alright?

Alright.

As the years went by, the boy’s parents spent less and less time at home, leaving him feeling lonelier than ever. It made it harder for him to sleep, and droids can’t hold you tight like a mother can. So he lay awake for hours at night, waiting for the sun to come up. Whenever he tried to close his eyes, he would see terrible things. Rain-soaked ruins, giant temples blazing before him. Lightning striking the earth at his feet, leaving a jagged scar. Monsters in black masks, threatening him with fiery swords. He awoke from these dreams crying, but he had no one to tell him that things will be alright. His only friends were the shadows on the walls.

Sometimes the shadows spoke to him. They asked him how he was feeling. Fine, he said. They asked him if he felt lonely, but he didn’t answer.

Why aren’t your parents home? They asked.

They’re busy, he said. Fixing the galaxy.

Or maybe they don’t want to come home, they said. Maybe they don’t love you.

Of course they do! He cried. Leave me alone!

The voices did not leave him alone, not for many years. As much as the boy hated what they suggested, they were the only ones who would keep him company through those lonely nights. They told him not to tell his parents, because they would assume the worst. So he kept his mouth shut. But he could not hide everything. He could not hide his growing power, that—that _thing_ inside him that made plates fly across the room when he was angry and let him listen to the words that people wouldn’t say out loud.

Monster was a word that he heard a lot. It hurt when he heard it from his own father. Uncontrollable. Angry. Vader. He did not know what a Vader was, but he assumed it must be something bad.

One day, his parents smiled nervously and told him that he was going to stay with his uncle Luke for a while. Luke was a Jedi, you see, just like the ones from Mom’s stories. He’s making a school for new Jedi, and you will be the first student. It’s for your own good.

He could feel the fear radiating off of them, and it made him wonder if they were doing this because they thought he was a monster. Maybe they were right. Maybe he was.

The boy did not actually want to go, despite how much he liked spending time with his uncle at his last birthday party. But the voices told him that it would be a good idea, he would learn a lot and see many wondrous new places. So he agreed, and then they were off. It wasn’t all bad at first. He got to make his own lightsaber with a bright blue crystal that he picked out from the caves of Ilum all by himself. Uncle Luke took him to explore new places with his friends, searching for treasures and new students for the temple. The first student was a little green thing named Grogu, who became the boy’s best friend for awhile. He was far older than he looked, old enough to have known his grandfather (though he claimed they’d never met). He told him the coolest stories about his father and the adventures they’d had together. That time they fought the bad men on the fiery planet. That time his father helped the village and fell in love with a pretty lady on Sorgan. Grogu wanted a mother, and the boy agreed that having a mother would be a really nice thing. The thought of his own mother made his heart ache. Grogu seemed confident in his father. He would become a great ruler and fall in love again and get everything he ever wanted. The two boys spent many nights laughing together, exchanging stories and wishing for their parents. But he left as quickly as he came. Didn’t even say goodbye.

Where did Grogu go? The boy asked his uncle one morning.

Luke frowned, not wanting to talk too much about it. His father decided to pick him up. He said quietly. They have their own home to go to.

The boy wondered if his own father would take him home. They could fly the Falcon all day and play with the blue butterflies again.

You know he won’t, the voices whispered. He doesn’t care.

Years went by. The voices remained his only true friends, teaching him how to use his powers and discover peoples’ secrets. But they often made him feel small, made him second-guess himself. And they didn’t like to tell stories. He missed the stories most of all. Sometimes he would ask his uncle to tell him more about his grandfather, because his mother had promised she’d tell him when he was older and well—he was older now. His uncle looked at him with a pained smile and said that he wasn’t ready yet. Go spar with the other kids; Voe, Hennix, Tai. Over a dozen more who had the same powers that he did. They seemed calmer. None of them got angry or had nightmares like he did. They played games together late into the night. Some of the older kids would kiss each other and ask who was the prettiest among them. The boy was older now, old enough to admit to himself that he liked Tai. They kissed one night around a campfire, making the other students erupt into a chorus of oohs and aaaahs. He could see Tai blush in the firelight, and they spent more time together after that, talking about their hopes and dreams. But otherwise, the students rarely spoke to him as a friend. The voices told him that they were jealous of him, they all secretly hated him. Yes, even Tai. Because of his name, _Skywalker_. He was their teacher’s nephew, so of course he was the best at everything. Of course he got special treatment. He thinks he’s too good for us.

The boy stopped saying uncle after that. Like the other pupils, he called Luke Master.

Things got harder after that. No one would speak to him like a person, except for the voices. But they made his head ache, and now that he was older they started to tell him more terrible things, more personal things. They knew that he was angry and scared, so they wielded his insecurities like a dagger, pressing it against his throat. They all hate you, the voices said. Nobody wants you. Maybe it would be better if you would just disappear.

They made his head ache and tears stream down his face, so he went to his room and called his parents for the first time in many months. He had not seen them in person in years, they were always too busy. But sometimes they spoke over the holo. It sputtered to life before him, revealing his mother, sitting at her desk. She was older than he remembered, weary, but still wearing a loving smile that he recognised from his youth. He told her that he wanted to go home, that he hated it at the temple, and he wanted to see her and his father. She sighed, but said that it was just the puberty talking. Luke said that he was making good progress. Stick with it, you’ll be fine.

Where’s Dad? He finally asked.

She did not answer.

He sat in his room for many hours after that, feeling the cold wind rush through the windows and make his papers flutter. He liked to draw and write stories, but they were always half-finished, mocking him. He burned them that night, crying and screaming, then lay in bed for hours, wishing that someone could hold him and tell him things would be alright. Wishing that he could have someone to talk to, someone who would tell him more about his grandfather. Someone who wouldn’t make him feel as terrible as the voices did. He was afraid that he would have nightmares again, but this time he let himself sleep. Things couldn’t get any worse.

It was a strange dream at first. He was standing by a bonfire, surrounded by strange people who were laughing and drinking, wrapped in fabric to protect them from the desert air. None of them even noticed he was there. He heard a sound in the background, and then some of them got up to find out what was going on. One of them returned with a little girl in tow, maybe six or seven? She seemed strange, with her oversized clothing tied together with old belts, or her three little buns and oversized metal staff. Yet something about her reminded him of how he was at that age. It made him smile. She was crying because her parents were gone—but no, they were coming back—and they told her she was wrong, then brought her to the centre of the circle, and then to a hooded man near him. His face was covered in horrible burn scars, but there was still a warmth in his voice that reminded him of Mom.

He sat down as the man began to tell his own story, shocked when he realised that it was about his grandfather! He sat there for hours, taking in every word, half-wondering why his family always left that stuff out? The stories of the clone wars, they were incredible! Then the man said that he joined the Sith, and the boy felt his blood run cold. Was…was it true? No—no of course it couldn’t be. This crazy old man was just making things up. It wasn’t—of course not.

As the man continued his story, the boy’s gaze kept landing on the little girl, the way that she looked at him with wonder. There was a warmth about her, and it made him want to be close to her. They listened together as the man finished the story, telling her about how Leia had a son.

Really?! She asked. She seemed to excited at the prospect, like she wanted to be his friend.

He couldn’t help but smile.

Then the firelight went out and the people wished each other goodnight. The scarred man asked the girl if she wanted help getting home, but she said it was okay, she knew the way. The boy followed her hesitantly, watching as she climbed to the top of her dune and thrust her staff to the sky like a lightsaber. She would make a great Jedi, he thought. Much better than him. Then she tripped and tumbled down the dune and he ran down to meet her, kneeling in front of her and asking if she was okay. She couldn’t hear him, but stood up and cleaned herself off. Then he saw her eyes widened, as if she were looking directly at him.

He reached out a hand to her, shakily. Hello, he said softly. Can we be friends?

The girl nodded and reached out, and for a moment their fingers brushed each other, making her giggle and filling him with peace and warmth.

My name is Ben. He said. What’s your name?

She did not reply.

He stood up and tried to tell her more, but he felt his chest tighten, then saw that she was fading before him.

Come back. She whispered. He tried to reach out to her, but she was gone in an instant. He turned around and called out for the girl, but no one answered. He was alone once more in the desert on Jakku. He walked around for a minute, looking for help, but stopped as the sun began to rise and he noticed something poking up from the sand. He went over to check it out, then felt a profound sense of dread. Two metal planks jutting up from the ground, words engraved on them too illegibly for him to read.

Come back. She cried. Come back!!

He awoke in his room with a start, then groaned and rubbed his head. He forgot most of the dream within a few minutes, but as he went to wash his face, he looked in the mirror and touched his cheek hesitantly. His eyes were brimming with tears. One of them had begun to fall down his cheek. Then one memory came rushing back, one that would stay with him for years to come.

The girl.

He didn’t even know her name.

Once upon a time, there was a boy who was torn between the darkness and light. His name was Ben Solo, and he was a Jedi in training. Later, when the darkness overcame him, he became Kylo Ren, the Jedi killer. In the end, he became Ben once more. He found the light, all because of the girl. The girl from his dream, the one who wanted to be his friend. He gave up everything to save her.

Now, the boy was ready. Ready to start over with her, go live for himself in the real world, with her by his side.

But first, she would have to find him.

Then she would have to save him.


	6. Pursuit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and her Mandalorian friends, Rose and Jannah, must break Ben Solo out of his isolation cell, deep in the Jedi temple on Coruscant. But will they defeat the monsters guarding the temple and the clones hell-bent on taking them down? Let's find out!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, yesterday's Wandavision was quite something, eh? I just loved it when [redacted] did [redacted] and said [redacted]. Good stuff Marvel, 10/10.
> 
> I feel like the people who started reading this thinking that it would be a straight ripoff are now starting to see that uhh...my story is a bit of a departure, especially since I'm writing each chapter a week in advance of the upcoming episode. 
> 
> This chapter was actually pretty difficult, but I hope that my lack of CW knowledge ironically sells the dreamscape a bit better. The next one will be a bit longer, but there will be some emotional gut punches. And then we'll get to the fun mushy stuff.
> 
> Enjoy! <3

“Hurry up!” Rey said frantically.

“I’m trying!” Said Rose through the helmet, slipping her device into the intricate lock system before her.

As she watched Rose tinker away at the locks, all she could do was gnaw at her thumbnail and kick herself for screwing things up so badly. She shouldn’t have rushed the process again, it made things so shaky and forced her brain to select the most stressful setting possible. This wasn’t even a story that she knew well, just a place she’d once dreamed of visiting. Somehow the vision had gotten mixed up with the onslaught of emotions and memories that she was having more and more trouble halting.

_Kylo Ren._ _Kylo Ren. Your boyfriend Kylo Ren._

She still didn’t know what exactly had caused Jannah to remember his First Order identity. It was probably her own fault, some kind of inconsistency that made them reject her reality. Like that idiotic move with the honeymoon on Naboo. _What’s so special about today in particular? Oh, it’s our anniversary._ A juvenile error hiding the truth that she’d wanted to bury deep within her heart. _It’s an anniversary of a sort. One year since I lost you_. She had brushed it aside at the time, hoping he wouldn’t notice…until he did. In this kind of setting, glitches were inevitable; the challenge came with cleaning up the mess afterwards. And every time, it brought her pain.

She thought Rose and Jannah were her friends, so some part of her had assumed that they would be happy to be there with her and Ben…but their faces in the hut still haunted her. She had managed to bring them both back under her control, but it still wasn’t clear how long that would actually last. If they could figure it out once, who’s to say they wouldn’t do it again? And what would they do once that happened? Rey knew that the best course of action was to just keep an eye on things, but she couldn’t stop thinking about the worst-case scenarios. Her projections weren’t enough, she needed at least a few other people to support the system. But she could have used any of the Tatooine natives. She just didn’t want to kick Jannah and Rose out. Not after seeing the way Finn had looked at her. That horror on his face…she couldn’t think about it too much, it just made her want to curl up and cry.

“Done.” Rose finally said, clicking the lock open with a loud _thunk!_

She and Rey exchanged a nod, then she moved back to allow her to use the Force on the heavy metal door. It crumpled in an instant, then fell hard like a stone, revealing the prisoner inside the ice-cold black cell.

Ben was slumped over, his long black hair obscuring his pale face, and his hands and feet bound by heavy iron cuffs with blinking red lights. His clothing was different now; a tight grey shirt covered with a pitch-black jacket, with loose black pants and tall leather boots. His lightsaber was still hanging by his side gathering dust—he must have been too exhausted to use it. His outfit was quite similar to Rey’s standard Jedi temple garb, save for the long black cloak she’d stolen to evade security.

Without hesitating, she ran forward and waved a hand over the cuffs, deactivating them. “Ben,” She whispered, cupping his cheeks in her hands. He raised his head groggily and met her eyes, blinking as if he’d just woken up for the first time. “Are you okay?” She asked.

“Rey…” He whispered, raising his hand to her face. “You came back for me?”

“Of course I did,” She said with a soft smile. “We always find each other.”

“Please save your little romance for later,” Jannah snapped, turning between them and the hallway, blaster at the ready. “We don’t know when the guards will come, so we need to go _now._ ” Despite the numerous battle scars, her ocean-blue Beskar helmet and armour shined brightly in the low light of the dungeons. Rose was fighting around and putting her lock-picking device back into her pack, making her rusted gold armour glint.

Rey met Jannah’s eye-line and nodded, then turned back and helped Ben to his feet. He trembled with the first few steps like a toddler, but once he reached the door frame it seemed like he had regained his mobility. He adjusted his shoulders and grabbed his sabre, joining Rey at the front of the pack. The other women flanked them, checking both sides of the dark halls for clones or Jedi. The place seemed empty, except for a few faint voices on the left.

“This way,” Rey said, motioning towards Rose. She sprinted into the darkness with them, using her golden sabre as a torch. Whenever they passed another cell, Rey would hear the cries, jeers, and insults from the other prisoners. Criminals, hunters, monsters, _Sith,_ hidden behind heavy metal doors. She silenced their voices as they continued running through the corridor until the only sounds were coming from the echoes of their boots against stone. Finally, they arrived at the exit. Rey pushed the stone door aside without taking a breath and they all stepped through into the grand hall, weapons at the ready. The dark room was breathtaking, with polished obsidian floors that reflected each one of them perfectly, walls that matched the night sky outside, all of them covered in silver carvings depicting the Jedi of the High Republic, and a high ceiling showing the pictures of Father and his children, their hands held high in a gesture that looked like they were blessing the place. To the far end of the hall, there were black carpeted steps leading up to a silver throne, illuminated by the stained glass image of a green island behind it. There, she saw the old man with the silver beard standing a few steps below. She gritted her teeth. What twisted part of her brain brought him here?! He was dressed in long brown and white robes and holding his bright blue lightsaber at the ready. When they stopped, he began to step towards them slowly, dragging the tip of the blade along the floor and sending sparks flying.

When he got close enough for them to see his face, Rey’s eyes widened with shock. She jumped in front of the group, holding her sabre up defensively. “Stay back.” She said through gritted teeth. Then she took a step forward. “He’s _mine._ ”

The others got the message. She could feel them backing up as she readied herself, then took a couple of steps forward until they were close enough to speak to each other.

“I can’t let you out of here, Rey.” The Jedi said to Rey. Then he raised his sabre towards the corner of the room, where Ben was standing with the others, snarling and holding his own red sword up defensively. “Not with that _Sith traitor._ ” He said, his voice sounding like steel against stone to Rey’s ears.

Rey felt her hands shake slightly, but she willed herself to take a step closer, her sabre still held high and her other fist clenched, hiding another weapon within. “I already told you,” She said. “I’m done with the Jedi order. You’re not my master anymore.”

“Is this what it’s come to then? You’d really open yourself up to the dark side for a pair of pretty eyes? Betray the whole order just for _him_?”

She held her head high. “I don’t regret it.”

Luke stopped and assumed his position, glaring at her. His form was flickering, half-covered in red sparks. “So you’ve chosen your path.” In a flash he seemed to flicker out of existence, until he reappeared and brought his blade down onto hers, sending a blinding flash of light into her eyes. “Then you can die together.”

Rey pushed him off and leapt backwards. _He’s your nephew! Your FAMILY!!_ She wanted to scream. She still couldn’t understand why he gave up on him so easily, after everything he’d said to her about his guilt and shame over what he’d done that night. But she simply steadied herself and repositioned the blade into a reverse grip in front of her chest. _Everything was a lie. You never wanted to help either of us. You just wanted to use me as a vessel._ They circled each other like wolves, master and student, studying each other, waiting to see who would move first.

She sprinted towards him, feeling the sting of tears against her face. _You abandoned him._ She cried out and swung her sabre in a high arc, which he easily dodged. In a moment she cut again, lower, then whirled to meet his cold gaze. _And you abandoned_ me _._

The corner of his mouth twitched. She took a slow breath, feeling fury ignite within her. At that moment, he was all that existed. Not as Luke Skywalker. Just an arrogant old man for her to cut down.

“I hate you,” She snarled, lunging forward. He dodged her thrust without any effort, then turned to face her again, his foot brushing against the white salty floor. She looked down, eyes widening at the sight of the red crystals.

“I know you do.” He said, now strangely calm. She whirled back up. His face had shifted now, younger, more caring. He was looking at her with some combination of pity and compassion. It made her stumble backwards, sending a shiver down her spine.

Then she blinked and the environment transformed back into the grand hall. “You can’t stop me from being with him, no matter how hard you try.” She sneered.

“I’m not the one stopping you.” He said. “Fate is.”

She flinched.

“And no matter how much you want to, you can’t bring him back.” He said, thrusting his blade forward. She parried his blow, but he did not yield, not even as she shifted her footing. Then she glanced at the tip of his blade and felt the corner of her mouth twitch. She pulled down her hilt and ducked under the arc, then rammed her elbow into his chest, sending him stumbling backwards. In a swift motion, she cut off his gloved hand, sending it and the blue sword flying until it dissolved into nothingness. A moment later she knocked him backwards with the Force, causing him to fall flat on the floor.

“Rey—you—you—you can’t—can’t—can’t do this.” He said, his voice strained and robotic. His entire form was flickering once more, no more corporeal than the other shades that wandered the streets of her worlds.

“Shut up,” She said, her voice so low that only he could hear. “I don’t know how you got into my head, but you’re not welcome here. And you certainly don’t get to play the hero.” She knelt down and brought the side of her blade against his neck, making him shudder and hold his head back.

“After all,” said Rey, the corner of her mouth twitching into a feral grin. “All of this—“ She motioned towards the rest of the room, and the other three. “Was your fault.”

She stood up, twirled the blade and thrust the tip directly into his chest, causing his form to shatter into dust. She took a step back, feeling her heart pound through her chest with fear, anxiety…and a strange sense of satisfaction. She stood still for a minute, her shoulders rising and falling with each breath, half expecting him to re-form and start the fight all over again. But the old Jedi was gone, and he wouldn’t bother her again. Even his robes were gone; it was as if he’d never been there at all. Finally satisfied, she brushed the thin layer of dust off her black cloak and turned back towards the group. “We should get out of here before the cavalry arrives.”

The others nodded and ran towards her. Rey and Ben sprinted up the steps while Rose and Jannah activated their jetpacks and flew a few feet above them. Rose shot a small explosive device out of her golden cuff and into the green glass, sending a flurry of glass shards out the window. A rush of wind flowed into the room, blowing the strands of Rey’s hair far back. She grimaced and tightened her buns.

“Come on!” Ben said, waving her towards him. She nodded and climbed up to the throne to meet him. The others flew out of the window as they stepped to the edge of the broken window. Rey glanced down nervously. For a moment, the landscape below was too blurry to identify; a mess of shadows and red lights covered in a thick layer of fog. She furrowed her brow and flicked her wrist, willing her vision into reality. A moment later, the clouds parted, revealing a dark pool far below. Far enough to hurt on entry, close enough not to kill him. It was the best she could do in the moment.

She turned towards Ben. “Together?”

Ben’s mouth twitched, a nervous smile forming. “Together.”

So they took each other’s hands and jumped off the cliff’s edge. Rey felt the wind rush out of her lungs as they flew through the air and down into the pool, hitting the surface hard. She held her breath as the water threatened to enter her lungs, but lifted her head to the moonlight at the surface and pushed herself forwards. Ben swam next to her and reached the surface first. When she poked her head above and coughed out the liquid, she suddenly felt a strange sense of familiarity.

Rey blinked. The others were gone, and the polished marble of the temple building and steps were now smoky black and grey. Distantly, she could hear water dripping down from stalagmites. Where—where was she?!

“Rey, come on!” Ben said. She turned, her mind hazy, and blinked again. Things were back to normal. He was crouched on the side of the pool, his hair and clothing dripping wet. His arm was outstretched towards her, ready to help her out. So she nodded and swam over to him, then wrapped her hand around his forearm and climbed out.

Rose landed beside them and crossed her arms, examining their soaking forms. “You guys know we could have carried you, right?”

Rey felt her cheeks go red with embarrassment. “H—heat of the moment—“ She stammered, her teeth chattering from her wet clothes and cold night air. Suddenly, a strange scent wafted into her nose, making her whirl towards the open window. Something was flowing out of it, a strange black smoke. Even from so far below, the burning sensation was strong. It made her chest tighten and sent a wave of pain into her forehead. “Let’s just get out of here.”

They sprinted down the steps of the temple and into the busy outdoor market streets of Coruscant, occasionally bumping into pedestrians and eliciting some jeers and insults, while others mulled around like shades, unaware or indifferent to the black-cloaked Force users and Mandalorian fugitives. It was better that way. Once they got far enough from the temple she could clean things up, or at least give herself something better to work with.

“Stop right there!” A man cried out from behind.

_Spoke too soon._

Rey whirled and reactivated her sabre with a _hiss,_ illuminating the moonlit streets with her golden light. The new foe—no, foes—stepped out of the shadows, their blasters pointed directly at her. Fifteen or so clone troopers, their helmets painted in messes of black and white and red.

The leader held up a fist, signalling the others to lower their weapons. “Hand over the Sith and no one gets hurt.”

Rey shrank back at the word, then snarled and reversed her grip on the sabre. “Make me.”

“H—h-ha—hand over the Sith and no one gets hurt.” He said. For a split second, all of the clones seemed to glitch, their forms shrouded in red static. Then they composed themselves, split off into three groups and started shooting.

Rey sprinted forward and deflected each blast with her blade, causing some to bounce off the metal buildings and tentpoles, others to hit the troopers directly. Five went down in the blink of an eye, and when she finally closed the distance between herself and the leader, she did not hesitate to slice his head clean off. Then she turned. Rose was shooting down one of them with ease, then turned towards her and gave a cheerful thumbs-up. The sight made Rey grin and turn towards Jannah and Ben, who were engaging with their own group. Ben ran his crimson blade through one of them, sending the armour crumbling to the earth. Then one of them knocked their blaster into his flank, sending him stumbling backwards.

“NO!!” Cried Rey.

Jannah was on him in a moment. She sprinted forward and raised her arm to block the next shot, then shot the clone with her other hand, sending him flying. In a moment she had taken care of the others, leaving a new pile of crumpled armour flanked by a group of paralyzed city folk. Jannah turned to meet Rey’s eyes and nodded.

She breathed a small sigh of relief, feeling a burden lift from her shoulders. Maybe she had been wrong to worry. If Jannah was willing to jump into harm’s way to protect Ben…maybe everything was fine.

“Where to next?” Rose said.

Ben glanced at Ben, who was still groaning in the corner, slamming his wrist into his wound.

“Let’s just get out of here,” Rey said, willing Ben to meet her eyes. He did, and they nodded to each other. Then they took off into a sprint, through market streets and empty highways, not stopping until they reached a new round building—the opera house—covered in dim, flickering yellow and blue lights. There didn’t seem to be any vehicles or patrons heading in that direction. In fact, for such a lively and wealthy part of Coruscant, the building before them looked like totally abandoned.

She blinked, and the building flickered crimson. When it returned to normal, the lights were off altogether, and the sides of the buildings were covered in thick layers of rust and old boards.

“We can hide in here for now,” She said to the others, leading the way inside. The door to the stage was covered in old posters for tragic operas and graffiti, but with a grunt, she was able to crumple it all up like it was paper and threw it to the floor. They stepped through the corridor under the seats, following the light until they reached the edge, where the steps to the stage began. Rey looked up and gasped with wonder. There were thousands—no—millions of seats surrounding them which probably once held the wealthiest and most important people in the galaxy. High above her, the blue moon looked larger than she’d ever seen before, and its light was streaming in through the glass at the top of the ceiling, casting a soft glow on the group wherever they walked. The place smelled of dust and smoke and sand, but she could imagine just how marvellous this house would have been, from the shining architecture to the lush melodies.

Once they finally stepped onto the abandoned steel stage, she felt the exhaustion catch up to her, and she felt her lungs catch fire and doubled over, hands on her knees. She’d been running for so long that her clothes weren’t even wet anymore.

“How—how long until they find us again?” Ben asked.

“I’m not sure,” She said, turning towards him. He was dry too, and it looked like his wound was all healed. “Once we get our bearings, we’ll get out of here, find a shuttle and get off this planet.”

As Rose was removing her helmet, Jannah held hers down to her side and let out an exasperated sigh, running her fingers through her hair. “This is ridiculous. We’re really doing this whole charade justbecause the Jedi don’t want you to date a Sith.”

Rey glanced up towards her, feeling her heart skip a beat. “He’s not a Sith—”

“—I’m not a Sith.” said Ben in the same moment.

Rose tilted her head, the corner of her mouth twitching. “But that’s what they kept calling you—“

“I’m NOT a Sith!” He yelled.

She took a step back, startled, causing her golden helmet to fall to the floor with a hard _clank!_ “Then what are you?” She asked.

“I—“ Ben said hesitantly, recognizing his mistake. He shook his head, examined his own black robes and sabre like he just realized how he was dressed. Then he turned towards Rey, searching for an answer. “I—I think I’m—I’m just…Ben.” He finally whispered.

Rose blinked, then swallowed hard. Rey felt her own pulse race as her friend started to shake uncontrollably. Without fully meaning to, her own hand started creeping towards the cold metal hilt hanging by her belt. Her friend was losing control in front of her, but all she could think about was how it was her own fault. Another inconsistency, another screwup. _He’s not a Sith._ She whispered to herself, willing the statement into reality. Willing it into Rose’s mind. _He’s just Ben._

It didn’t work. Rose’s lips were stuck in a strange half-formed smile, her cheeks covered in fresh tears, and she was opening and closing her mouth as if to search for the right words or the right expression or the right role to play. Jannah saw what was happening too, so she reached out and held her forearm tight, finally calming her down.

“I’m okay, I’m okay.” She finally said, leaning into Jannah’s embrace. They stayed there for a moment in each other’s arms, while Rey could only listen to the sound of her racing pulse, waiting and hoping to see how they would react. Look for some confirmation that it was only a temporary glitch, that things would repair themselves momentarily. Finally, the two of them turned to her and nodded seriously. Rose was alright.

“We should keep moving,” Ben said quietly, pointing towards the stage doors. Rey nodded and pulled up the black cloak of her hood for cover. Then she began to follow him, seeing the other two separate out of the corner of her eye. Rose was behind her, and Jannah had picked up her pace to catch up to him. She breathed a small sigh of relief and strode towards the end of the sprawling stage, lifting her hand off the lightsaber.

“So you’re Ben,” Rose said slowly. “Ben Solo. Right?”

“I am.” He said without turning towards her.

Rey felt something, a cold breeze that made the hairs stand up on the back of her neck.

Rose was a bit closer now, only a foot behind her, their steps in tandem. “Ben Solo. You used to be Kylo Ren, the leader of the First Order. Which means...you’re not supposed to be here.”

She felt her breath catch in her throat.

“Isn’t that right, Rey?”

Then she went rigid, feeling the cold barrel of a blaster press up against the back of her head.

She turned, slowly, and saw Rose holding it. Her jaw was clenched, and her eyes were burning with cold rage, a hatred she’d never seen before.

“Rose…what are you doing?” She asked, slowly raising her hands. Her heart was pounding, and then—for a moment—her mind went blank and she let instinct take over.

A shockwave of red light emerged from her open palms. The concert hall stage vanished below their feet. Now they were all perched precariously on crisscrossing metal beams, each one barely wide enough for one person to stand on and extending as far as the eye could see. An unfinished construction site, directly over a dark abyss, surrounded by the sprawling neon metropolis. Another place she remembered from a half-finished story.

Rose didn’t buckle with the change. “I’m sorry. But you didn’t listen before, so you’re not leaving me with any options now.” She said, her voice colder than she’d ever heard before. Yet it sounded strained, quiet like she was struggling to speak with every word. It made Rey’s heart race with fear and guilt. “You need to wake up, _now_. Or—“

“Or what?” She asked, gritting her teeth.

“Or we do this the hard way.”

Rey whirled around. Jannah had her blaster trained on Ben’s head, and she was staring directly at her with a scowl. Ben was looking at his feet, his hands held just above his ears. They were shaking, but she could see the slow rise and fall of his shoulders, the sabre hanging still by his side. Before she could say anything, Jannah reached and unhooked it herself, then tossed it over the edge. She knew that Rose wouldn’t do that to her; she was too quick for such a move. But Rose knew that Rey would never use her lightsaber against her. Not even here.

Ben glanced up and met Rey’s eyes for a moment, making her shudder. _They knew_. Not just the truth of the world, but the truth about him. He wouldn’t—he couldn’t—use the Force on a real person, especially not someone she knew. That was the way he was built. Her own mistake; compassion overriding any sense of practicality. Now, thanks to her, he was at Jannah’s mercy, standing precariously on the steel spider’s web overlooking the void.

If she made any wrong moves, Rose would shoot her without hesitation and everything would be over. She needed a way out. So she took a deep breath and shoved all of her thoughts into the corner of her mind, then stared down into the darkness.

“What gave it away?” She asked, trying to keep her voice as calm as possible. She could feel the energy rushing up into her body, preparing to be released.

Rose had not faltered. “This time, or the first time?”

“The first time.”

She pressed the gun harder against her head, enough to make her wince. “Some things that were suspicious from the start, but your voice was always in my mind telling me that _everything was fine_. I only really figured it out when I saw you hurt Finn.”

“And Jannah?” Rey asked, raising her gaze towards them.

“I’ve known all along,” Jannah said calmly, keeping the blaster trained on Ben.

Rey swallowed. Of course, she knew. Jannah was connected to the Force, just like she was. Rey had once asked her privately if she wanted to train with her and Finn. It was an awkward conversation since the two women had barely spoken a word to each other since she had stolen her skimmer on Kef Bir. She had declined her offer politely, saying that she wanted to spend some time with her companions on her home planet. Then Lando, her father. Then Finn with his rehabilitation project. Then Rose. Yet even with all of that, Jannah was still able to overpower her with ease. Not just overpower her, but _lie_ to her, convince her that she was playing along. Convince her that for a time, she was in total control.

The realisation sent a chuckle through her, then a guttural laugh that made her entire body shake. She really was an absolute _idiot._ A memory flashed through her mind, of him. When he’d knocked her out with a wave of his hand, the way he’d spoken to her with all of that contempt in his voice. The way he had stared at her with absolute bewilderment when he realized that she was stronger.

“I’m sorry I underestimated you, Jannah.” She said sadly. “I shouldn’t have let either of you in, to begin with.”

“Rey, you’re not—“ said Rose faintly.

“Don’t listen to her, it’s too dangerous!” Jannah yelled from the other beam, forcing Ben to his knees. “She’s trying to control you. You have to do it _now!”_

Rey felt her words pierce her heart. She wasn’t trying to mind trick her. The last time—it was a mistake. It was wrong, she knew that. But Jannah would never give her the chance to explain. It was clear now that she only saw her as a threat.

“Rey, we’re your friends and we want to help you. I know you’re upset, but we’re doing this for your own good.” She said from behind, pushing the barrel harder.

Rose did too.

The rage was rising with her now, threatening to overwhelm her like an uncontrollable inferno. The whispers were getting louder too, just like on Jakku, Naboo, Canto Bight, and again on Sorgan.

Yet when she spoke, her tone was strangely calm. _They don’t care about our happiness._ The voice whispered within her mind. This time, it was not unwelcome. This time, it was her own.

“No. You don’t want to help me.” She glanced down and saw small red sparks dancing across her palms. Her whole body was vibrating with magic and power. Like the first time. The first time she’d seen that lightning.

“And you’re definitely not my friends.”

Before Rose and Jannah could react, Rey twisted her wrists, pulling the blasters out of their hands. Feeling the disappearance of the barrel, she whirled around and reached out towards them, drawing on her power to lift the women into the air and hold them in front of her, dangling over the chasm below. Their arms were locked behind their backs, bodies arched back, neither of them saying a word. She met their fearful expressions with a feral snarl. For a moment her mind went blank, except for one thought. _If you really care about Finn that much, then go be with him._

“Rey!!” Shouted Ben. His voice was faint like he was yelling from a mile away.

She tuned his voice out and focused on _them._ “So _get_ _out._ ” With a swift motion, she used the Force to push them away, causing them to fly like rag dolls. The background shifted, glitched at that moment, bringing her back to the empty casino of silver and gold. They flew back through the walls, further and further, until she felt a sting in her chest and knew that they were gone.

_What happened?_ Someone asked. _What did she do?!_

She whirled around. Twenty or so people were standing on the steps leading into the main room, some staring at her blankly, some shaking, some with tears falling from their wide eyes. Humans, Jawas, Tuskens, all of the beings who had been living their lives in this world before she entered the fray. She could feel the terror radiating off of each one of them. All of it directed at her.

“Who are you?” Asked the half-smiling old woman, tilting her head in confusion.

“Who are you?” Asked the frightened little straw-haired boy.

“Who are you?! WHO ARE YOU?!”

Then, she watched a little girl turn towards Ben, who himself was paralyzed in the corner. “Help us.” She said. Then her body shuddered, she turned back to Rey and joined the chorus.

The crowd was closing in, glitching, repeating that question again and again until they erupted into a chorus. Their voices rang through Rey’s ears, making her close her eyes and bring her hands up to block out the sounds. She felt herself sink lower and lower, her head pounding from the chorus of cries as she collapsed to the floor, but she couldn’t block out the sound as the question pierced the deepest recesses of her psyche over and over again.

_Who are you? Who are you? Who are you?_

Tears were falling from Rey’s face now, she could feel her grip weakening. If they kept pushing her everything would fall apart. She needed to get them out, _now._ So, feeling the energy build within her, she stood up and let out a scream. A new shockwave spread from her body, engulfing the room in crimson light. They flew backwards into the walls, and each time someone shot through the barrier the energy dispersal sent a new series of painful stabs through her heart.

She looked on at the empty room, letting her shoulders slowly rise and fall as the chorus began to fade. Then, when she finally felt like she had regained enough control of her mind and body, she released a new flurry of red sparks. The environment transformed immediately back to Coruscant, but deeper now, on a street in the lower sector. A sliver of a memory, something about two Jedi searching for a bounty hunter who had answers. To what, she didn’t know.

Ben was by her side once more. When she turned, she could see that he was glaring directly at her, his mouth hanging open, eyes wide, his entire body rigid with anger and horror. She swallowed hard, knowing what was going through his head. She was losing it, she was out of control. She was dangerous. A monster.

He seemed to feel her rummaging through his mind, so he closed his mouth and turned away. Rey started to chase after him through the empty streets, though she could feel herself slowing with each step, sinking deeper and deeper into the sand.

Sand?! No—a street. Of course, it was a street.

They were on the street with pubs and restaurants and cantinas. They were long abandoned but still half-lit with neon lights, the windows boarded up and covered with threatening messages. Garbage piles were splayed around her like corpses.

Her eyes drifted to a poster on the side of one building. A bolt of blue lightning tore through the page, broken by a message in white letters. _Don’t you wish you could go back? Catch our outer rim tours today!_

When she looked up, she felt her breath catch in her throat as the blue butterfly reappeared, flying high above Ben’s head as he began to walk along the endless path. Then she blinked, and it was gone.

There were people once more, not the same people, but the shadows, the faceless ones who had mulled around before without any true identity of their own. Some looked like people she’d met in the past two years, others looked like the travellers and traders at the Niima outpost. But not quite like them. Just half-formed beings from long-forgotten memories. They were strolling along the street silently, each one walking a straight line but without direction, without purpose. She needed to calm herself down to put them in order, but she only pressed on, keeping her gaze trained on Ben’s messy black hair covered in blood and sweat. All she could think about was getting him back before he reached the edge.

She followed him for what felt like miles, desperately calling his name, wishing he would stop and let her explain and understand what she was doing…but he didn’t turn to meet her eyes.

“Ben, Ben you have to listen to me—“ She said as he began to slow down. She could feel herself panting, her voice was quiet and her movements had started to slow once again.

“Why did you do that?” He asked, still not turning.

“I—I—“ She stuttered. “They would have ruined everything. We can’t have any more distractions.”

“Ha, _distractions_?!” He asked mockingly. She heard him stifle a chuckle. “You told me they were your friends. Yet you threw them away—you threw them _all_ away—like they were nothing. Why?!”

She opened her mouth, then closed it again.

“No answer then?” He asked, turning slightly towards her. “Fine.”

_They hate me. They said I was dangerous. They were going to destroy it all. Just because they can’t accept either of us._

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the faceless people walking around, some solid and others half-transparent in the flickering lights of the establishments. One of them strode right into a wall and kept going, the walk cycle repeating step by step as their whole form began to glitch. The other continued absentmindedly, passing right through a lamppost.

Finally, after she felt like her lungs were going to collapse and her heart was going to beat out of her chest, he stopped before her and reached out. Rey looked up in horror to see what he was doing. He’d arrived at the barrier. That wide never-ending dome of red energy and red static that she’d put up to protect their home and cut them off from the barren desert outside.

She clenched her fists at her side. “BEN!!” She cried.

He did not listen, but reached out his hand and pushed his palm up against the static, sending a wave of pain through her. The penetrated area suddenly illuminated, and he pulled his hand back and swore to himself. Then he whirled towards her, disgusted.

“Let me out of here.” Said Ben.

“I can’t do that.” Rey took a hesitant step towards him, resting one palm on her lightsaber.

“Rey, I mean it, let me _out._ ”

_You won’t survive out there._ She thought to herself, rage and grief igniting within her once again. But she bit her lip from saying it out loud. He must have taken her silence as a rejection or a threat because he whirled back around and pushed both palms up against the red static, harder than before. He grunted with effort, pushing against the energy, until the entire area erupted into white light, sending him flying back a few metres behind her.

“BEN!” She cried, running to help him off the ground. He was grimaced with pain, and as she reached out to hold onto his arm, she could see that there was something about it. A blue aura radiating off of his black robes.

With a deep breath, she tried to touch it, but it passed clean through. Like trying to touch a shade. As the light of the moon shined down on him, his whole body became translucent. Then she blinked, and he was whole again.

He didn’t seem to notice, and instead brushed her aside and climbed to his feet, his eyes still on the red static before them. Beyond that, it was a barren landscape. Nowhere else for them to go. She stepped in between them and reached up to touch his face, hoping that it was just a temporary glitch, praying that she could keep his eyes trained on her. But just as her fingers were about to brush against his cheek, he grabbed her forearms and lowered them slowly, his eyes full of hatred.

“ _No.”_ He said coldly, letting go. “You don’t get to put me under again. And you don’t get to just say that everything is fine. I know it’s not. I’m not fine, and _you’re_ not fine. So tell me what’s going on, or I swear I’ll keep trying until I get out of this dream, with or without you.”

“You can’t!!” Rey cried.

“Why not?!” He cried, throwing his hands to his temples. “I can’t take this anymore, my head is in constant pain and I keep seeing flashes of Dad and I don’t know why!”

“Then I’ll make them go away.”

“Rey, I can barely remember anything before Naboo!!”

“I can fix that, we were just spending time together—I—”

“STOP LYING TO ME!!”

That made Rey flinch.

“I’m sorry.” Said Ben quietly. “But even if you’re going to keep lying to yourself...I’ve heard enough stories in my life. I don’t need any more from you.”

She lowered her arms back to her sides, searching her mind for the right answer, the one he would want to hear. In the distance, she heard screams. The unmistakable scent of smoke wafted into her nose, sending a shiver down her spine.

When she spoke once more, her voice came out as a whisper. She couldn’t look him in the eye, so she looked down at her own hand, where her golden ring was glinting. “I only did this because Luke and Leia gave me no other options. I was sick of being on my own. I just wanted it to stop.”

“Luke and…my mother? What are you talking about, what happened between you and them?!”

She swallowed and met his gaze, feeling her eyes brim with tears. “They told me I couldn’t see you again. It wasn’t possible without giving up everything. This was the only other way.”

“What wasn’t possible? Why was _this_ the only way?!”

Her heart skipped a beat. “Because you’re—“

She looked up above his head, where a black plume of smoke had erupted far behind them, swirling until it looked like the open maw of a demon. He whirled around to see what was going on, and that’s when she knew that she had to act.

Rey grabbed Ben’s cheeks and turned him around, then pressed her forehead against his and closed her eyes, willing the world around them to disappear. Everything went silent, leaving them to float together in the white space of limbo, full of unconstructed material. Plenty for her to use.

_I have everything under control._

Yet she could already feel him slipping away from her. His spirit was full of anger, fear, pain, regret, and uncertainty. When she looked upon him, she could see his eyes were shut tight. His face was pale and covered in bruises and scars and bleeding wounds that stained her fingers crimson when she brushed them against his cheek. The memory made her wince, but she willed herself to look upon him and concentrate. The longer he spent ruminating, questioning the reality, and rejecting her influence, the more he would start to disappear. But it was too late to make him entirely complacent, he already had enough power and awareness to resist her. And without the presence of other people, she had to rely on her projections to do the work. Next time, he would be fully aware of their surroundings. After that…she was going to lose him for good. She wasn’t ready, she needed more time. There were so many things that they had left to do together. A thousand more worlds to explore and a thousand more stories to tell.

All she wanted to do was keep him by her side, for just a little bit longer. She had created this place for them to finally be happy together as themselves, with nobody around to hurt them. She just needed one more chance to make things right. One more chance for them to be happy. One more chance for them to be together.


	7. Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey has one last chance to make things right with Ben. But will she be able to help him understand? Or will he continue trying to escape?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually a very light and happy chapter, I hope you guys enjoy it!
> 
> Happy Valentine's day!

She opened her eyes to the bright sunlight, feeling the short blades of grass between her fingers. Sun…she looked up and smiled in relief. There was only one this time. A bright golden sun high above her head. The sky was blue and crystal clear, but when she blinked, she saw the rays flicker, and for a moment they shined crimson.

Rey swallowed and clenched her fists, then raised herself up, willing the landscape to stabilize itself. _Focus._ She was sitting on the side of a steep hill, and when she looked out at the horizon she could see the sprawling island and wide ocean before her, the waves rocking back and forth softly, lapping against the shore.

_Rey._

She whirled at the sound of Ben’s voice, but to her surprise, he was not there. Yet she kept hearing him whisper her name, again and again until more voices joined. Rey climbed to her feet shakily and raised her gaze to the hill above, where she knew that the sounds were coming from.

There sat the great tree, half-hidden in mist. Something had changed from the day she first stepped inside its trunk; the massive structure was burned beyond recognition. The three branches surrounding the centre were black and shrunken, while the great pillar itself had a gaping wound running through its centre, as if it had been cut in half by an enormous sabre. Yet there was still life within it. She could feel the spirits calling to her, beckoning her forward once again. Once she climbed the steps to the entrance though, she was surprised to see that the door was no longer there. Of course, that wouldn’t have mattered, she’d already emptied the room within of its manuscripts. But she still felt drawn to it. That place that could offer her the truth about her destiny. She could still feel his voice calling to her. _Rey. Rey. Rey._

For a moment, she felt as though something else was pulling her away. Another voice called out her name, but lower, enticing in a different way. She glanced to her right, seeing the cliff’s edge in the distance that opened right into the abyss. But she shook her head and focused on the tree. She wasn’t ready to go back there.

Gently, she reached out and pressed her palm against the burnt bark. Suddenly, an ice-cold gust of wind came forth, making Rey wince and wrap her black cloak tightly around herself for protection. When it faded, she opened her eyes and gasped with horror. The tree was gone, replaced by the black stones, jutting out from the cracked earth and crackling with crimson lightning. The throne was before her, waiting for her to take her place and seize the power that she deserved. Something in the darkest corner of her heart longed to do just that, but the rational part of Rey was still in control and tore her gaze away, trembling as memories flashed through her mind. A ship, screams. Two scraps of metal half-buried in the sand.

_Oh, Rey._ The throne whispered into her mind, suffocating her in the shadows. _You’re such a fool. Just accept it._

“No,” She whispered to herself, bowing her head to the earth. “I need more time.”

_Rey, Rey, Rey._ It said mockingly.

“Shut up!” She said, her voice echoing across the stadium.

_Rey._

_Quiet._

_Rey._

_Get out of my head._

“Rey!”

She blinked and turned around. The light had returned, and the earth around her was green once more. “Hello?” She asked hesitantly.

“Master Rey!” The voice said again.

Rey glanced down and felt her heart skip a beat. A little girl was tugging at her Jedi robes playfully, her thick pitch-black hair tied into two buns behind her head. She reached out and touched the girl’s forehead hesitantly, feeling its softness. The girl then looked up and gave her a toothy grin, revealing her freckled nose. She was a beautiful child, not much older than Rey was when she started living on her own. She’d never seen her before, but something about her felt strangely familiar.

“Hello there,” She said softly. “What can I help you with?”

The girl looked up at her with sparkling amber eyes. “You were standing here a long time on your own. I wanted to make sure you were okay!”

She blinked, then turned back to make sure that the tree was still standing. No throne. No shadows. Everything was as it should be. Then she knelt and met the girl’s eyes. She was dressed simply, with an earthy green shirt, loose brown pants and shoes, and a dirty brown jacket. From her hip, she saw a small silver hilt hanging.

“Thank you for coming to find me,” She said, patting her head and eliciting a giggle. “I’m just fine now that you’re here.”

“Yay!” The child exclaimed, embracing her. Rey felt herself go still for a moment, but then she closed her eyes and tightened it, enjoying that warmth for a brief moment. Then the girl pulled back, still keeping her arms wrapped around Rey’s. “Can we go back together?”

_Back where?_ She wanted to ask. But the girl’s enthusiasm sparked something in Rey, and so she kept her mouth shut. She nodded and stood up, holding her hand as they walked down the path from the tree and towards the other side of the island.

Rey looked down and saw that the girl was skipping gleefully with her. “Why are you so excited?” She asked.

“I want to show you something!”

“What’s that?”

She winked and put her finger up to her mouth. “It’s a secret for now.”

Rey smiled and nodded, then looked up, realizing they’d come to the edge of the path. The sight before her nearly made her heart stop. A…a Jedi temple?!

She blinked. The stone hunts of the island were spread out, bustling with activity. One of the huts in the distance was larger than the others, bearing a sign that showed the image from the pool at the peak of the island. The original Force user, perfectly balanced between darkness and light. Between the temple and the huts, there was a large green field in the centre, covered with blue and yellow flowers. She could see students practicing there, young and old alike. Some were sparring with wooden swords, and others were chasing each other and laughing when one got caught. In the centre, others were lifting rocks or using the Force on themselves, allowing their bodies to float a few feet off the ground. There were older people standing guard, watching patiently as the children played and trained. When she glanced right, she could see one of them who looked like Finn. Yet when he turned around, his face was blank. It melted into shadows, causing Rey to shudder and grip the little girl’s hand more tightly.

“What—what is this place?” She asked the girl.

The child tilted her head quizzically. “What do you mean? This is what you wanted, isn’t it?”

Her mouth dropped open slightly, then she looked back at the students. They glitched red for a moment, then returned to normal. Yes…yes of course. She remembered now. This was still her dream. She was, at once, its explorer and creator. Rey remembered being in that white space with Ben, vowing to give them one more chance together. She changed things, this time creating the most peaceful place she could think of. A dream not born of vague memories and half-finished stories, but a wish that she held deep inside her heart.

_But if this was all my doing…then that means…_

“Daddy!!”

Rey felt the girl’s hand slip away from her own, then stared rigidly as the child sprinted towards her father, who was watching a sparring match. Ben turned and looked down at the girl, and knelt to meet her. She took a shaky step forward as the girl whispered something in his ear. He met Rey’s eyes for a brief moment, furrowed his brow, then looked back at the child and smiled, giving her a high-five before sending her off to play with the others.

Rey strode up to his side, holding the side of her cloak tightly. She looked towards him, but he did not meet her eyes.

When he finally spoke, his voice was low. “Did you ever think of a name for her?”

Rey looked down, considering it for a moment. “Padme.” She said, turning back to him.

He met her gaze this time, raising an eyebrow. “Like my grandmother?”

She sighed. “I used to hear stories about her from the travellers at the outpost,” She smiled fondly at the memory of the fire. The laughing travellers. The kind old man. “She seemed like an amazing queen. I wish I could have met her.”

He crossed his arms and scoffed, turning back towards the students. “That makes two of us.” He said, barely hiding his resentment.

She looked down sadly, feeling her shoulders drop. There was so much negativity radiating off of him, fear and rage and deep-seated grief. He was fully lucid this time, that she knew. There was no point in even trying to make him complacent, it would just delay the inevitable. But she still wanted to be with him. She wanted to show him how she felt, and the kind of life she longed for; the one she wanted to give him. One where neither of them would have to choose. Where they could pass on the lessons they’d learned, help to heal the rift in the galaxy, and…not be alone again.

She bit her lip, feeling her eyes grow watery. A family. That was the one thing that she truly wanted. But was it too much to ask for?

They stood together for a long while in silence, watching the other students train and play together. The girl waved at them enthusiastically, and they waved back. She ran up towards them holding a stone in her palm, then demonstrated her skills by lifting it with the Force. It danced around in the air high above her head for a moment, triggering a brief vision of the straw-filled doll.

She reached out and caught the rock, then returned it to Padme, holding onto her hands for a brief moment.

“Padme…” She whispered, realizing that her hands were shaking.

She looked down curiously, then met Rey’s eyes. “What’s wrong, Mommy?”

She let go of the girl’s hands and brushed away a tear. “Nothing,” She said. “Go play with the other children, alright? I’ll come to find you soon.”

Padme nodded and skipped off to play with her friends.

Rey turned towards Ben, who was staring blankly at the spot where their daughter was just moments ago.

“If this is too much, I can get rid of it.” She said quietly.

A shadow passed over his face, then he turned and walked to the nearest hut with his fists clenched at his sides. Rey strode towards him as he sat down on the step and buried his face in his hands.

She stood over him, feeling guilt wash over her. “Ben, I’m—“

“Don’t.” He said. “Just don’t.”

She felt her chest tighten, but said nothing; instead, she pulled her cloak up and turned to sit down beside him.

“I never wanted to hurt anyone.” She said quietly.

“I know.”

She glanced down and kicked a pebble. “They’re all safe. I felt them when they crossed the barrier.”

“But you won’t lift it.”

She swallowed, hugging herself. “No.”

They sat in silence together for a while, then he sighed, rubbed his temples, and raised his gaze towards the field. “Luke’s temple looked a lot like this.” He said quietly, leaning his chin against his knees. “I used to practice on the rocks over there—“ He pointed at the circle where Padme and the others were working. A few more students had joined the fray, one squid-looking boy, a dark-skinned girl with snow-white hair, and a young tanned bald boy. “I would spar with them. Voe and Hennix and…” He swallowed, then lowered his arm. “Tai.” He said. “But I spent a lot of time alone, just…sitting here. Not many people would even bother to ask me if I was okay, or even talk to me at all.”

A soft breeze blew past them, making the flowers rustle in the tall grass.

He held up his hand and examined it, twisting the wedding finger and letting the blue crystal sparkle in the light. Rey saw the corner of his mouth twitched, then brushed her fingers against her golden ring.

“I never wanted to be a Jedi.” He finally said.

Rey’s heart skipped a beat.

“I needed to learn about myself and understand my powers, but I don’t think I was ever meant for the life that Luke wanted for me.” He raised his gaze towards the sky. Rey did the same and immediately felt her pulse race at the sight of the silver ships flying in the island’s direction. But when she glanced at Ben, he was smiling fondly.

“I just wanted to fly.”

She smiled softly and leaned into him, half-expecting him to brush her off. But to her surprise, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, and she nuzzled into him for a moment, enjoying his warmth and scent. If she closed her eyes, she could almost hear his heartbeat. It was a moment that she wished would last forever.

“I love you,” She whispered into his chest.

He held her tightly for a moment, then released his grip and stood up, leaving Rey trembling and teary-eyed on the steps. He helped her to her feet silently, then looked back at the field. The projections were all still minding their own business, indifferent to the two of them.

He looked down sadly, brushing his thumb against her golden ring.

“I told you before,” He said. “We should be out there together. This can’t replace the real world.”

She felt her lip tremble. “Ben,“ She whispered, pulling her hands away. “That’s not possible. I can’t change what happened. I—“ She began, then blinked and swayed, suddenly feeling a wave of nausea and stabbing pain in her forehead. _No._ She thought.

Ben helped her up, then looked into her eyes. “Rey, I can feel you getting weaker.”

_I know._ She thought. “There’s still more that I need to do.” She said shakily.

“So let me help you. At least tell me what happened.”

She smiled, feeling her eyes grow watery. “You saved me, Ben. You saved me on Exegol. You did something for me, something that I can never repay you for.”

He narrowed his eyes, then widened them, pulling away. “I remember.” He said. “You left me on the ruins. I remember…I remember Dad. I—I fought with you. Then the Emperor threw me away…and I climbed out. I found you and—“ He looked at her, then held up his own trembling hand. The sunlight illuminated his skin, for a moment passing right through. He lowered it immediately, then gave her a pained look. Then his head suddenly shot out to the side, as if he’d just heard a voice. He gave her one last pained look and turned away, walking down the path back the way Rey came. Away from the temple, towards the— _no._

She tried to call his name, but her voice came out as a hoarse whisper, and once more he did not turn away. She clutched her throat, then grimaced and tried to run after him, but then she felt something tugging at her cloak.

“Where are you going?” Padme said, looking up at her.

“I—I—“ Rey stammered. She pulled away and took a step backward, but the little girl simply smiled and tilted her head, matching her footsteps.

“Who are you?”

Rey felt her heart pounding through her ears. _Not you too._

“Who are you?” Asked Ben’s old companions, walking up behind the little girl. Rey gulped, seeing their faceless forms reach out towards her. One by one, more of the students and teachers joined in, asking her that question that had been haunting her for her whole life. She was paralyzed, unable to run or fight back as they reached out and touched her skin, sending shivers down her spine, suffocating her, pulling her under the veil of darkness until she could barely breathe.

“Who are you?” A voice asked. Not the projections, but Ben’s voice, half-hidden under the mask of Kylo Ren. It was a whisper from so long ago, one that she could barely recall. For a moment, she saw a man, crouching before a sleeping girl, trying to understand why she was so strangely familiar.

_I don’t know._

The weight of the projections’ bodies lifted off of her almost immediately. She gasped as the sunlight reappeared, but then flinched as they began to flicker, their bodies dissolving into red light. She looked down at her daughter and tried to reach out to her, but her hand passed clean through the child’s body. Then--they were all gone.

Rey shuddered and wrapped her arms around herself, feeling her chest tighten and bile rising in her throat. Then she looked up and let out a gasp. The temple and training area was gone, replaced by the empty town square of Nevarro. It was already falling apart. She could feel her control waning, she needed to find Ben.

She turned and took off into a sprint to catch up to him, but the environment seemed to shift with every step that she took, from the lake palace to the streets of Canto Bight to the forest of Takodana and the snowy forest of Starkiller Base. She shut her eyes and powered through, but each time she could hear things. A stormtrooper’s call to fire. Blasters going off on both sides. The _kkssssshhh_ of lightsabers clashing. _Quiet, girl! You’ve seen the map. It belongs to me. I’ll come back for you. It is you. You had a father who loved you, he gave a DAMN about you. Join me. Please. I’ll come back for you sweetheart. I promise._

_I would have given my life up for him._

_This is not the Jedi way._

_He wouldn’t want you to._

_Then I’m done with the Jedi._

She skidded to a stop just behind Ben, where he stood paralyzed before the remains of the great tree. The wind had stopped, but the mist was still dancing around the bark, harbouring spirits that whispered into her mind once more. He seemed to be entranced by them, so she walked up to his side and quietly twined his fingers within hers, hoping that he could see some reason. This place…perhaps she’d manifested it in her dream, but the power it held was not within her control.

_Accept it._ The voices said again, making Rey flinch and shut her eyes.

“It wants me to go inside,” Ben said hazily.

“Don’t do it!” She protested, pulling his hand closer towards him. But he was already letting go, walking towards the hallowed ground with seemingly no awareness of his movements.

“Ben!” She cried.

He took another step.

“Ben!” She said once more.

He reached the foot of the trunk and began to reach his hand towards it. The mist was gathering around him, shrouding his body from her view.

“BEN!” Cried a new voice. One that she’d heard utter that name only once before.

They both turned to the source of the voice, where the sun was setting over the horizon. From the light emerged a man and a woman, holding hands. They strode slowly towards the two of them, smiling. Rey stood still, feeling a deep sense of guilt, but then looked to her side. Ben was running down the hill towards them. She watched silently as he stopped a few feet away, while the sun cast a golden glow on all three of them.

“Mom…Dad…?” He said in disbelief. He turned towards her, his expression marred with confusion and a strange sense of desperation, but then she nodded and he turned back to meet their eyes.

She moved slightly closer, but even as she closed the distance she could barely make out their faces. Only Han’s scruffy hair and old brown jacket, and Leia’s perfect bun and long burgundy dress. She could not make out Ben’s words to them, but she knew that it didn’t matter. None of it was really her business…she simply wanted to give him a chance to see them again. When she blinked, she could see some of the golden light on their forms glitch, becoming a cluster of crimson sparks. The sight made her feel only guiltier. His fists were clenched at his sides, and his shoulders were raised while his head was hanging low.

She held her breath as he raised his arms to embrace them, and then sighed and tried to smile when he did. They stayed in that position for a long while, both Leia and Han wrapping their arms around him. Then they pulled back and caressed his cheek. Ben took a step back, then they both looked on as his parents dissolved into red sparks, melting into the fading sunlight.

As the sky began to glow a blood-red, he took a step towards her, tears glistening against his skin. His scar, once old and faded, seemed fresh in the moment. It glowed a deep red with every breath he took.

“Are you just trying to torture me?” He asked.

Rey gulped. “What are you talking about?”

“Were you just waiting for the perfect time to bring them here? Just so you could remind me that they’re gone?” He asked bitterly.

“No.” She said firmly. “I just wanted to do something right.” She knew in her heart that it was time to show him the truth. So she closed her eyes and took a breath. Then the landscape around them changed. They were not on the island anymore but in the desert. Beside them, Rey could see the overturned AT-AT and the torn fabric covering the entrance. In the distance, she heard crying. A small girl begging for someone to come back.

They were on Jakku.

“What is this place?” He whispered, staring wide-eyed at the old structure.

Rey closed her eyes and opened them again, but it did not go away. She took a step back and wrapped her arms around herself, avoiding his gaze.

“This is where I grew up,” She said. “I was alone here for fourteen years. I didn’t have any family or friends.” She took a deep breath, feeling the scar on her shoulder. “Part of me knew that I was destined to stay here forever.” _An old woman, filled with regret. Waiting to die alone._

Ben didn’t respond, but she smiled to herself and wiped a tear away. “Then I met Finn. And Han. Leia, Luke, Rose, Poe, the Resistance.” She met his eyes. “And you.”

He took a step back, furrowing his brow in confusion.

“Ben, I hated you for so long….I thought you had everything, and you chose to throw it all away.”

He tore his gaze from her, remembering their conversation from so long ago. _You had a father who loved you, he gave a damn about you._

“Leia told me stories about your family. She knew that what had happened wasn’t your fault…she just wanted to see you again. And once I realized I was wrong about you, it was too late.” She shuddered and moved her heart to her chest, remembering the moment that she’d felt Leia pass on. The moment she tried to kill him. “And it’s haunted me ever since.”

“Why are you telling me all of this?”

“Because…” She drew a shaky breath. “Because I never got to say goodbye. And after what you did for me…I owed it to you to give you that chance.”

They stood in silence for a long while the sand blew around them. Suddenly, his eyes widened and he whirled towards the open plain. “Do you hear that?” He asked.

She avoided his gaze guiltily.

“It’s like…someone’s crying.”

She looked down and clutched the folds of her cloak, feeling her chest tighten. She could hear it too now, faint but recognizable. It sounded like a little girl.

“I know where it’s coming from.” She said. Immediately, they were transported to a different corner of the desert, not far from the outpost but enough that they could be alone. The weeping grew louder, but then stopped abruptly. When she looked up, Ben looked like he’d just had the wind knocked out of him. He took a step back, and she froze, seeing something sticking out of the sand behind him.

“What is this place?” He asked.

She looked at him sadly. “A pauper’s grave.”

Ben looked at the sand behind him. Then he turned back and met her gaze. That’s when it struck him. She watched helplessly as he examined his own body, then swallowed hard and looked at her again, his eyes brimming with tears.

“You never got to say goodbye…” He murmured to himself. Then his eyes widened and he turned back to her, finally understanding what she’d meant.

“I’m dead.”

They met each other’s eyes.

“Aren’t I?”

She nodded.

Immediately, he collapsed to his knees. Rey watched in horror as his body began to dissolve before her eyes, each piece breaking off into a flurry of blue sparks. Ben looked at his hands, then looked at her helplessly. She ran towards him and flung her arms around his shoulders, holding onto him tightly, praying for him to stay just a moment longer. One more moment for them to share.

“I’m sorry.” She wept. _I’m sorry for lying to you. I’m sorry for keeping you here. I’m sorry for hating you. I’m sorry for loving you. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry._

He wrapped his arms around her. “It’s okay.” He said, sounding strangely peaceful. “I made my choice. And I’ll always be with you.”

“It’s not the same!” She dug her face into her chest and wept, feeling his body fade away around her. “Please don’t leave me alone again.”

She expected him to be angry or fearful, but he simply caressed her hair softly. “You’re not alone. You’ve never been.”

He tilted her chin up so that she could meet his eyes, just as his face was starting to become transparent. “You know how to find me.” He said, smiling one last time. “You know what you have to do.”

Then his body dissolved before her.

She watched helplessly as the sparks flew high into the sky, out of her reach. He whispered her name in the wind, but each time it faded, just like before. She let out a cry and ran forward, clutching at the last bit of light that she could see, but as it slowly faded out of her view, she couldn’t help herself. She reached out for it, whimpering like a child, though it felt like something was pulling her back.

_No. Come back. Come back._

But it kept moving away towards the sun.

“COME BACK!!” She cried, thrusting her arm forward.

Then it all happened at once. Again.

A bolt of crimson lightning shot out from her palm towards the sun, turning it red for a moment. She stumbled back in shock, but then saw the ship fall from the sky. She heard herself crying, being pulled away. Then she saw the wreckage. The fire. The plumes of black smoke rising.

Someone was screaming.

Rey felt her body go numb, then she fell to her knees and doubled over. She couldn’t watch this, not again. Not again. Not again. This thing that she did so long ago, this memory that she had locked in the deepest corners of her mind.

_An assassin had captured and killed a man and a woman._

The man who told the scary stories. The one she’d latched onto once she was ready to admit that they were gone; it was a horror story that she’d made her own. A comforting lie, one that could be easily exploited to anger her. Make her believe that she had a reason to fight a phantom who she did not know. Become his new vessel. Kill him.

Never stop hearing his voice

She’d become so good at lying to herself, she truly believed that she was the hero of the story.

She stared at the sand for a long while, still listening to the sounds of screaming in the distance. She couldn’t bear to raise her head until this nightmare ended. But the longer she stayed there, the more memories kept flashing through her mind, finally free of the box she’d locked them in so long ago. Her mother and father, angry and drunk, terrified of their daughter and her abnormal connection to the terrifying Sith magic that the locals spoke of.

_We should leave soon. Get away from here_

_Plutt promised to take her off our hands._

_At the rate things are going, she’ll end up killing us._

_It’s for her own good._

She was there, powerless while the money switched hands. Nobody told her what was going on, they just boarded their ship while she was being pulled away by the big scary man. She was sobbing, asking where they were going, begging for them to come back. Something emerged from her hands, a bolt of lightning that shot across the sky too quickly for anyone else to see. He pulled her away as they heard the faint _thud!_ of a ship falling to the ground. She stared at the smoking wreckage as her body was being dragged away.

Sometime afterward, the girl finally got up the courage to go to the wreckage, though it had already picked clean by the other scavengers in the area. The bodies were too scorched for her to tell them apart, but some part of her knew. She took some bones back with her.

Then she started digging. She didn’t stop until the hole was deep enough for what she needed to bury. Then she took two planks of metal that she’d taken from the wreckage, and scrawled their names on the surface. It was a task that she performed numbly. After that, she washed her hands in the basin for hours, unsatisfied until she scrubbed off every last piece of sand, ash, and blood.

She couldn’t sleep that night. So she climbed up to the outpost, where the travellers were sitting around a campfire.

And so, she locked the memories in her box and found stories to fill the void in her heart.

_They’re dead, in a pauper’s grave in the Jakku desert._

_You have no place in this story. You come from nothing._

_You’re nothing._

Somehow, Ben had known the truth—or at least part of it. And when he told her, when he tried to force her to confront that part of herself…she didn’t listen.

The black smoke was slinking towards her, wrapping around her wrists like shackles.

No, he didn’t know. In the end, he was manipulated like the rest of them, willing to believe a lie if it meant preserving the illusion that she was a good person.

_But not to me._

She curled up in the sand and began sobbing to herself. She was stupid…so stupid. He never would have said that if he had known the truth. He would have left her behind, just like everyone else in her life. Rey raised her head slowly, then blinked through her tear-stained eyes and saw the two planks, rusted and half-covered in the sand, bearing the names of the junk traders who raised her. Left her.

The junk traders she’d murdered.

She bit her lip and shuddered, the truth of it finally washing over her. What…what kind of a person was she? What kind of child could do that to their own flesh and blood and then go about their life like everything was fine? She’d killed so many since that day. Stormtroopers and guards in the war. Aliens who gave too hard of a time. Monsters trying to live peacefully with their children. Scavengers over an extra portion or two. The man she loved.

_Monster. Murderous snake._

That’s what Rey was. How arrogant of her to say those words to him, knowing that she was worse than he could ever be.

When she finally spoke, her voice was hoarse. Broken.

“I’m sorry.” She said.

She reached out a trembling hand towards the graves, but before she could touch them, the metal began sinking into the sand. She cried out and jumped to save them, but they passed clean through their hands and continued their descent until they were gone.

“NO!!!” Rey screamed, digging at the sand. But it was no use. She looked at her shaky hands, covered in sand and slowly turning grey and lifeless. Another memory, one that made her hand fly to her chest and tug at her clothing as her pulse quickly faded into nothingness.

She was climbing up the rocks, half of her bones were broken, and she felt like she was going to die. Yet she managed to plant one palm firmly on the cold earth and struggle up top. Rey heard a groan, and she knew immediately that it belonged to Ben. He was limping towards something…her own corpse. He used every ounce of his strength to pull her up and hold her limp head and neck.

_Help. Someone._

_Anyone._

_Please._

No one came. The Jedi who’d used her as a vessel to defeat the Sith, never came back. They vanished into the Force, leaving a broken man to tend to the woman he loved.

So he held her tight and used his own remaining life energy to save her.

The one man who had ever cared enough to treat her as a person. The one man who’d stayed behind, even when no one else did. The one man who’d loved her for who she was, enough to die for her.

_They didn’t even come for you._

Ben Solo came back. But now he was gone. And it was _all her fault._

Rey held herself and wept, sending a wave of energy that made her heart race. She could feel the barrier crumbling, no longer able to sustain itself with her torrent of emotions. It fell all around her, leaving her alone in the desert of Tatooine. Another graveyard.

Her gaze fell to the sand. His black sweater was there, just as it was on Exegol. One last token. A terrible reminder of the sacrifice he made. She whimpered and held it tightly to her chest, her mind replaying the memory of him hugging her limp body.

Then she froze, hearing the sounds of footsteps in the sand.

Someone was coming.

Rey looked up in shock to see who it was. The hooded figure was standing just above her. She wanted to run, but her body was so weak from grief and exhaustion that she could only stay frozen in place while the shadow carefully lowered itself to one knee in front of her. Then it reached up and removed the hood.

“Hello, Rey.” The shadow said, the corner of her mouth twitching.

Rey’s eyes widened. The face looking back at her was her own.


	8. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn and the gang begin to plan their next move, while Rey confronts her oldest enemy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, so this was a difficult chapter to write for a number of reasons, but I hope everyone likes it! I'm thinking of taking a week off in the near future, but I still want to have the whole thing done before the end of March. Figure we should get the pain out of the way now, that way when we're all crying over the Wandavision finale we can use this fic as a bit of a palate cleanser.
> 
> Thank you so SO much to all of my commenters, I haven't had the time to reply to everyone but I love every single one of you. I'll try to do an acknowledgements section once I write the finale!

Two days after Finn was kicked out, Rose and Jannah emerged from the dome. There was no warning, no signal, just a brief flash of light before they flew out and skidded across the sand. Finn, Poe, and Chewie ran towards them immediately, and though they seemed shaken, luckily neither of them were hurt.

Finn knelt in front of Rose and helped her sit up. “Are you okay?” He asked.

She nodded groggily and climbed to her feet, rubbing the side of her head. Then their eyes met, and he felt a wave of emotions burst forth from her. Fear, anxiety, confusion, guilt, and grief.

“What happened?” Finn asked softly.

“Finn—” She said, her eyes welling with tears. “You’re alright.” Then, without warning, she leapt forward and wrapped him in an embrace. “You’re alright.” She said in relief.

He paused briefly, then reciprocated, holding her tightly.

“What happened to you two?” He asked once they’d pulled away.

“What _happened?”_ Said Jannah sarcastically. They whirled to see her standing up, holding Chewie’s arm like a crutch. “Rey threw us out.”

“We tried to talk her out of it, but then she knocked us out. We woke up on some city and tried to wake her up—the other way—“ Rose said, motioning as if she were holding a blaster. “And she got mad and did a—“ She twisted her wrist, mimicking Rey’s use of the Force. “I’d never seen her like that.” She admitted. “That rage. It seemed inhuman.”

“Yeah, like breaking entire rooms of equipment in a tantrum,” Jannah said, stepping to Rose’s side. “So does someone want to tell me why I just spent--I don’t know how long--pretending to be friends with her husband, Kylo Ren?”

None of them replied. Finn felt his chest tighten while Poe and Chewie lowered their gazes. “Did everyone know about this except for me?!” She asked.

“None of us knew, not before I met him.” Finn began. He turned to Poe, who was halfway through opening his mouth to make a comment. “But I know she has her reasons.”

She laughed mockingly. “Oh yes, please, tell me all about her _reasons._ I so want to know why she’s prancing around in dreamland with a dead tyrant. _”_

“He is dead, right?” Rose asked. “He must have been on Exegol, directing the troops or working with Palpatine or something. There weren’t any survivors. But…” She closed her eyes. “He seemed to so real in there.”

“He’s dead.” He said, his voice low. He sighed and closed his eyes. “Rey showed me what happened to him.”

“Why would she do that?” Rose asked. She exchanged a glance with Jannah. “I didn’t know anything, I just sort of—assumed that Ben was a friend. Jannah didn’t know anything.”

He turned away and started rubbing the back of his neck. “I wasn’t affected by the brainwashing at all when I went inside. I think she was trying to coerce me into staying, but without realizing it, she showed me the truth.”

“What truth?” Jannah asked.

So he told them. About what happened between the three of them on Takodana. Starkiller Base. The fight in the snow left him unconscious. The sounds that still rang through his ears when he was in his coma. Lightsabers clashing, Rey and Kylo screaming, groaning with effort. At the time, he thought that Kylo had escaped, or Chewie had carried them both unconscious onto the Falcon. But after seeing things through Rey’s eyes…well, it certainly filled in some gaps.

_It is you._

The words were not meant for him, but clearly, there was something there between the two of them. That must have been where things began.

Then Ahch-To. The bond they’d shared while he and Rose were off searching for the master codebreaker. Learning of his past, opening up to each other, touching hands through time and space, fighting Luke, shipping herself to the Supremacy.

“They were in Snoke’s throne room while we were breaking in.” He said, turning to Rose. “We were all there together.” _He could have ended things that moment._ He thought to himself. _He could have stopped the attacks._

Then he told them about the following year. Rey in constant denial. Their fights on Kijimi and Kef Bir. She…she really tried to kill him. Then healed him.

_I did want to take your hand. Ben’s hand._

He looked down. “Ben Solo followed her to Exegol. They fought Palpatine together, but then…” He bit his lip and clenched his fist. “Rey died. He brought her back at the cost of his own life.”

The others seemed shell-shocked.

“So the last Jedi was in love with the famous Jedi killer,” Jannah muttered under her breath. Then she let out a small chuckle. “Yeah, that seems about right.”

“She never mentioned him,” Rose said sadly. “Why? I thought she trusted us?”

Poe crossed his arms. “I think she was smart enough to know that being head over heels for the Supreme Leader of the First Order wasn’t something to advertise.”

“Yeah, but did she tell _anyone?”_ Rose asked Poe. “I mean—he was Leia’s _son._ They were training together constantly, she must have said something to her.”

“I don’t think she did,” Finn said quietly. “Leia probably figured it out, but she wouldn’t have pushed her on it.”

Jannah let out an exasperated sigh. “So our former boss was the son of General Organa?”

Finn nodded.

“Lovely. But none of that answers the question of _how_ she did this?” She said, pointing back at the sparkling red dome.

Finn looked up, then felt his breath catch in his throat. Another flash of light. Then another. “Everybody get back!” He shouted. They barely managed to duck down as bodies began to emerge, one right after another. Many fell to the sand and sat up shakily, some were caught by Poe and Chewie. A Jawa flew right into Finn’s chest, causing him to stumble backward. He composed himself and let them go, then tried to ask the little beady-eyed creature if they needed any help. But they just tilted their head, then without warning, ran around him and kept going in the direction of the nearest shelter. He turned to see the others staring at the dome in horror, or running away with all of the energy they had left. There were easily fifteen or twenty natives, accounting for every floating figure that he saw when he’d first looked into the dome.

The group ended up putting the conversation on hold to help the ones who were huddled together, too shaken to run with the others. They managed to find a few spare blankets and food rations in the Falcon and take care of them. They were all cold, thin, their eyes sunken and lips parched. They’d been in there for so long without food or water…it was a wonder that they’d survived the endeavour. The group ate together and quietly pried the stragglers for information on their homes or destinations until the first sun started descending, casting the sky in a soft pink glow.

Hours later, Finn stood at the foot of the Falcon with the others and rubbed his eyes tiredly. He’d just finished explaining what he knew from Rey’s notes and Beaumont’s completed translations over the holonet, as well as his own plan to help her once they got her out. But it still had not fully sunken in, for anyone really. A lot of strange, high-concept stuff, even for someone who already knew how to make rocks float and feel energy and emotions from miles away. But as utterly stupid and incomprehensible it was, he still felt like it was worth a shot.

Jannah groaned and put her head in her hands. “That’s the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard.”

“It’s still a work in progress.” He said.

She shut her eyes tight. “If I think too hard I’m just going to punch you, so let’s just keep this in the present, alright? No new information on how this might have started or how to take down the barrier?”

Finn inhaled deeply and looked at her. “Look, all we know is that she’s using her own energy to power this thing. So it’s not permanent, and there’s probably some kind of weakness. If we can just get in contact with her or wake her up, then it’ll be done, and we can get her the care she needs.”

He exchanged looks with everyone, but then Jannah realized what was going on and shook her head. “No—“

“She’ll be safe at the centre.” Finn asserted. “Then we can figure out our next move.”

“Are you stupid? Who’s to say she won’t do it again once we’re there?”

He jerked his head towards the natives. “The longer she stays in there, the more stress it puts on her body and mind. At some point, she’ll hit her limit, and then she won’t be able to do anything.” Something whispered in his ear, the worst possible end of that scenario, but he pushed it aside.

“I’m with Jannah on this one,” Poe said hesitantly. “We’ve all seen the kind of stuff she can do, even before this. We don’t really have a choice but to treat her as a threat.”

Finn shot him a glare. “Rey’s not a threat.” But even as he said those words, he knew they were a lie. He’d felt her use her powers on him…multiple times now. When Rey got angry, no one could stop her. And when she was angry and grieving…there was something inhuman about her.

_If the warrior remains in this state for too long, they will begin to lose all sense of reason. Caution to any foe who may confront them; the warrior’s emotions are their greatest weapons, stronger than any sword._

“Finn, you didn’t see the things she did in there. What she did to _us,_ ” said Jannah. Rose averted her gaze and frowned.

“I know,” He protested. “But she’s our friend, and I’m not leaving her again.”

“Coming here was her choice,” Poe said dryly. “She’s not your responsibility.”

“But I could have done _something_ ,” He said, clenching his fists at his sides. “I could have talked to her, helped her change her mind.”

Jannah rolled her eyes. “Do you really think that would have made a difference? She’s clearly spent the better part of two years fantasizing over Snoke’s former little pet. She was a lost cause from the start.”

That sparked something within Finn, a white-hot fury that he hadn’t felt in a long time. In the corner of his eye, he saw Chewie walk away wordlessly and click open the door to the Falcon. But he kept his gaze on Jannah and Poe, who was still stubbornly on her side.

“Lost cause?!” He yelled. “You and I are the last people who get to call her that!”

She frowned and pushed a finger into his chest. “ _You and I_ made our choices to leave those people and start new lives because we knew it was wrong. She was in love with him long before he had a change of heart. And I don’t trust someone who would put everyone in danger to live out her fantasies with that _madman._ ”

He pushed her finger aside. “So you’re saying she’s just as bad as he was?”

“No. But when it comes down to it, Rey was only ever a weapon to the Resistance and the Jedi. Take her out of the war, and she’s a selfish, arrogant, angry person who would gladly kill all of us for stepping out of line—“

“STOP IT!!” Rose shouted. All eyes turned to her, and she inhaled deeply and shut her eyes as if she were willing herself to quell the emotions rising within. “All of you. Just shut up. Look…” She opened her mouth, then closed it and shook her head. Finn could see that her eyes were sparkling with tears. “None of you were ever fully under her control like I was. Rey didn’t mean any harm.”

“She hurt you, Rose.” Jannah said, her voice shaking. “I watched for days helplessly while you walked around completely brainwashed. I can’t forgive her for that.”

“Then you don’t have to,” Rose said dryly. “But she’s still my friend. And beyond the whispers and the brainwashing, I could feel a lot of what she felt in there.” She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. “Grief, sorrow, remorse...Rey’s lost a lot of people in her life.” She drew in a shaky breath. “We all have. And whether we’d admit or not, I think there’s a part of all of us that would tear the galaxy apart to get them back.”

Finn watched as Rose’s hand flew up to grab the medallion hanging from her neck. The one token that she still had of her sister, Paige. She’d died under Poe’s watch while destroying the dreadnought and saving the Resistance. He’d only met Rose after it happened, but she knew as well as anyone how grief could change a person. How grief and love could make them do crazy things.

He remembered the smell of smoke and flame, the bright light of the cannon, and the jolt when she slammed her speeder into his. The smell of the crimson salt and seeing her face, filthy and bloody. A girl who’d lost someone before and wasn’t going to lose anyone again.

_Not fighting what we hate. Saving what we love._

“I don’t actually care what any of you decide to do.” Rose said sharply, clutching the crescent. “Rey is hurt, but she’s still a good person, and she’s still worthy of our help.” Her gaze darted to Jannah, then Poe, then Finn. “Everyone does. So once we figure this out and get her settled down?” She swallowed hard. “I’ll help you Finn. _We_ will help her get him back. Agreed?”

She was met with silence, then a few hesitant nods.

They would try.

***

Finn awoke hours later in bed in the Falcon, holding Poe tight in his arms. Something had stirred within him as if a small voice was crying out in the desert. But it faded as soon as he opened his eyes, and within moments it had vanished alongside any memories of the dream he might have had. He laid there for a little while, gently tracing his thumb against the top of Poe’s hand while his gaze darted around the top and sides of their little orange and grey pod. The walls were made of leather, but he could still see a few ticks, nearly imperceptible from the age-related damage, but clearly put their on purpose. There weren’t too many, but enough to count. Likely from the nights that she’d decided to sleep on the Falcon itself, rather than in the homestead.

He shut his eyes and inhaled deeply, feeling the melancholy, that deep sadness and grief that lingered long after its owner had left. Poe had no way of noticing it, but the longer he thought about it, the longer he thought about what she might have been feeling when she made those marks, the harder it became to fall back into slumber. So, carefully, he moved Poe’s arm out of the way and slipped out of the bed. He needed to stretch his legs, move, do _something._

With a deep breath, he strode through to the main room, where Rose and Jannah were asleep in each other’s arms on the couch, wrapped in a blanket. Two of the farmers who’d stayed with them—a young human mother and her son—were together around the hologame table. Her eyes were closed, and she was holding him tightly, one hand against his tuft of dirty blond hair. He initially thought they were asleep and tried to slip away quietly, but then he froze, hearing her voice. She was singing something just under her breath. A lullaby. It was in an old language, one that he did not know, but the melody was strangely calming. Slowly, he turned towards them and saw her fingers move gently through her hair, her gaze low. There was a part of him that wanted nothing more than to sit next to them and let her song lull him to sleep.

It was the kind of song that he’d longed to hear for the longest time. Everything prior to his induction into the stormtrooper programme was still a blur…perhaps it always would be. While he didn’t consider himself to be as secretive as Rey, it was still painful for him to even attempt to dig through old memories. All he knew was the alarm that would wake him up in the morning and barking guards who would force the recruits to go to sleep on time. He remembered once, when he and the others were perhaps only six years old, whispering amongst themselves after the room had been filled with shadows. They told each other their old names under the cover of darkness, reciting them in a series of whispers so that no one knew who was who. They talked about their families, often harping on singular descriptions. Dad’s big belly and hearty laughter. Mom braiding her long curly hair in the morning. Their little siblings (by now, dead or recruited) or older companions. The one girl who’s father had a cape collection (they’d only realized it was Jannah a couple of months ago). The boy who bragged that his father had once flown with the great Han Solo.

Finn didn’t speak much when he was in training. He used to follow the rules without causing trouble, reciting commands and tactics. When someone told him to shut up and join them, he’d dodge the question and try to close his eyes, hoping to bury his guilt and stave off his lingering doubts. But now…he wished he’d participated. Maybe it would have helped him realize things sooner. Maybe he could have left earlier, brought more allies to his side. Perhaps he and Ben Solo could have gotten to know each other better. They could have stopped things before it got worse.

No. He couldn’t think like that, it was only making the pit in his stomach feel heavier.

He took a deep breath and sighed, sliding into the corner of the chair and resting his head on the table. The woman met his eyes for a moment, but simply smiled to herself and continued her song. He let himself lie there for a moment, imagining his own mother holding him tight.

A lullaby, yes. She’d once sang him a lullaby.

He lay there peacefully for a little while, even after the show had ended, letting his mind clear itself of the noise surrounding him. Then he quietly got up and continued on his little walk, his boots clicking ever so slightly against the hard floor. A few more natives were huddled around, mostly humans and Tuskens, each having found their own corners to sleep in. He was grateful to see that they were fine. Shaken, of course, but physically unharmed. Most of the people trapped in the dome had sprinted off to get as far away as possible, but the ones who had stayed were frightened for different reasons, or they lived too far away or their possessions were still beyond that barrier. He hoped that they’d be able to get these people some permanent shelter at some point today. But they would likely work in shifts. Chewie could fly them around, while Finn and Jannah would stay and keep an eye on the barrier for any movement or activity. He still had a sick feeling that something was about to go wrong…why else would she have kicked them all out?

Finally, he arrived at the cockpit, where he could see the barrier just outside the window. It hadn’t changed since last night, but the sight of it was still making his skin crawl.

Chewie was sitting up at the front with his enormous furry legs propped up on the dashboard. From the back, he could see the corners of a holo flashing near his face. He wondered if he should turn around and give him some privacy, but the Wookie let out a low growl and motioned in his direction without turning his head. Finn stepped up hesitantly and slipped into the cold seat behind him. He let out a breath and sat back, crossing his arms, his eyes darting between the barrier outside and Chewie’s face. He was smiling at the holo, but there was a deep sadness radiating off of him.

When he looked at the holo, Finn immediately understood why. It was an old recording, static-y and faint; Chewie had probably watched it thousands of times. He could recognize Han, Leia, Chewie and Lando—all younger. Another man was with them too, probably Luke. They were all playing with a little dark-haired boy, wishing him a happy birthday and tossing him up in the air, sending fits of laughter through him. He knew that the boy was Ben, but it was still strange to see him like that. Normal. Happy. Full of love.

Without realizing it, Finn had shifted and was leaning into the space between their two chairs, watching the recording intently.

“Rrraa grr wwwggggggg,” said Chewie.

Finn looked up at him. He was still only half-familiar with the language, but that was clear enough. _I miss them._

“Yeah…” He murmured. “I do too.” Sincere, but it still felt half-hearted coming out of his mouth. He’d only really gotten to know Leia, and Lando was still here, though he spent all of his time on Bespin. But these people were Chewie’s family, and they were all gone. And Ben…Finn’s feelings about him were still complicated. The memory of their fight still sent a shiver up his spine, but he had changed in the end. For the number of people who’d died in the war, good and evil, there were many who didn’t deserve it.

A memory flashed before him. When they’d exchanged a look on Jakku. Kylo Ren…Ben…he’d known what Finn was feeling, but he chose not to confront him over it at the time. Perhaps it was guilt or shame, but the result had worked to his advantage. That may have been one of the things that saved him, allowed him to escape. It had given him a second chance at life, and now he was trying to right the wrongs by helping others who were like him. So many soldiers, corrupted from a young age, all of whom believed they didn’t have a place left in the galaxy. But they could change, he saw it happen every day. He would see the weight lift off their shoulders and smiles return to their faces as they realized that they could change. They could _live._

His ring suddenly felt heavy on his finger.

So why was it that, when Ben changed, he was punished for it?

“We’re gonna wake her up,” He finally said. “Then…” His mind drifted to the books, sitting in his bag by the bed. “We’ll figure out a way to bring him back.”

Chewie said nothing for a long while, then shut off the holo and let out a low rumble. He was still skeptical, but he’d seen plenty of force shenanigans in his lifetime. If Rey could do all of _that,_ then…well, getting his nephew back would be child’s play.

Finn sat back again and raised his gaze to the window, a million thoughts running through his mind. But then, something shifted, sending a series of electric sparks through his body. He nearly jumped out of the seat in shock, then reached forward and pressed his palms up against the window in shock. The dome was changing again, pulsating with bright white and red light. Finn took a step back and felt his breathing grow rapid and throat go dry.

“Chewie,” He said, his gaze locked on the dome. “I’m gonna go check it out. If anything happens, get the Falcon out of here.”

Before he could respond, Finn was sprinting out the cockpit towards the exit. He clicked the door open and ran outside, feeling the hot desert air against his face as he rounded the Falcon and came to a halt just in front of the barrier. He was a bit too far to reach out and touch it, but close enough that he could hear the buzz and feel the electricity emanating off of it.

“What are you doing, Rey?” He whispered to himself, staring wide-eyed at the changing barrier. Then, without warning, the pulsating stopped. Then…the top of it started to fade, lower and lower until the whole thing was just…gone.

He took a few steps forward and tried to reach out, but his palm only met air. For a long moment he stood there, wondering what could have happened, but then he whirled at the sound of footsteps in the sand. Poe, Jannah, and Rose were staring, mouths agape, at the vanished barrier.

“What just happened?” Poe asked.

Finn glanced back at the empty space, half-expecting it to reappear. “I don’t know.”

Then he went rigid, hearing the hum of Rey’s energy for the first time in days. But something about it felt different. Harsher, lower, overlaid with a buzzing sound that made all of his hairs stand on end.

“Be careful,” was all that he said. Then, he started walking towards the spot where Rey had been floating earlier, while the others followed. Poe and Rose readied their blasters and Jannah nocked her bow tight. He swallowed hard, hoping that it wouldn’t come to that. But part of him knew that they might not have a choice.

As the figure in the distance finally came into view, Finn’s hand drifted to the sabre by his side. He unclipped it and gripped it tightly, his muscles tense with apprehension, sweat beading down his forehead. All that he could think about were her eyes again, flashing yellow in the bright light of the casino.

Something had changed in Rey while she was in there. And he didn’t know if he was ready to meet whoever—or whatever—was waiting for them now.

***

Rey shrank back in horror. “What are you doing here?”

The shadow tilted her head, the corners of her mouth curling up into a wicked grin. “Don’t act so surprised. I’ve been here the whole time.”

She swallowed hard, thinking back to the figure she’d seen in the ballroom, the casino, the inn…and in the ruins. But it was more than that, wasn’t it? She was always there, slinking through the shadows in every dark corridor and haunting every nightmare she’d had since she was a child.

“Then get out,” She said, climbing to her feet. In a swift motion, she drew her sabre and charged forward, but the shadow was ready. A brief flash later, and she was parrying Rey’s golden blade with her jagged crimson one. “I beat you before and I’ll do it again!”

“Amazing,” The other woman grinned, pushing her off. “Every word of what you just said was wrong.”

Rey stumbled back shakily, then looked at her twin in a panic. She was striding towards her, twirling her dual blades casually. Then she lunged forward and brought the blade down towards her head, barely giving Rey enough time to parry the blow. They held that position for a movement, but suddenly she felt something slam into her, knocking her backwards. Her hand flew to her chest and she coughed, sending a splash of blood onto the sand. Then she groaned from the pain and raised her gaze towards the shadow, who was pulling her arm back and regarding her arrogantly. Feeling rage boil inside her, Rey steadied herself and ran towards her, then reversed her grip and slashed the blade across to try to cut her off at the legs. But once again it was futile. The woman knocked her blade out of the way immediately, sending the hilt flying a few feet away. In a swift motion, she thrust her elbow into Rey’s stomach and sent her stumbling, her vision swimming. Fatigue overtook her, and she fell flat on her back and felt the air escape her lungs. All she could see was a red sun, high above her head, shimmering through her obscured vision.

“You really are pathetic. Just give up, it will be easier.” The shadow said, blocking out the sunlight. Rey tried to raise her arm and summon her weapon, but then she felt the sole of a boot crush her wrist and a knee press against her abdomen. Her bright yellow eyes burned into her very soul, glowing like a feral cat’s.

Rey twisted her other wrist until she could feel the hot sand between her fingers. “I’ll _never_ stop fighting you.” She snarled. Then she flicked her wrist upwards, throwing a ball of sand into her eyes.

The shadow recoiled in disgust but did not release her, no matter how much she struggled to break free. Within moments, she composed herself and grabbed Rey’s cheeks, sinking her nails deep into her skin. “I believe you.” Then she narrowed her eyes and looked around. “But I’m not here to fight. In which case…maybe we should get rid of these distractions.” Then she snapped her fingers, and the desert dissolved into darkness.

Rey blinked, then looked down at her hands. Clean and unmarred. Her long brown hair billowed around her, obscuring her vision, but her body felt like it was lighter than air. When she looked around, she could see that she was floating in some strange void. Shadows swirled all around, and when she raised her gaze to the sky she saw a small pinhole of light far above. Something was moving within it. _Ben._ He seemed lost, and she could hear him calling for her far away. She wanted to swim towards him, towards the light, but it seemed to take all of her energy to even lift an arm, as if some unseen force was trying to force her lower and drown her in the dark sea.

_Help. Help, please._ But no one answered.

She felt her eyelids drop and body descend until she was standing firmly on a platform, causing them to flutter open again. It was invisible to her gaze but solid enough for her to straighten her body. Looking across from her, she could see her other half standing a few metres away, now wearing only her long black dress. Rey felt white hot fury spark within her again, but it immediately subsided. It seemed…dulled by the whispers of the void. _Give up. Accept it._ She tried to fight them and reach for her sabre, but the space below her belt was empty. Looking at the shadow, she could see that her hands were bare. So she began to pace around her, silently. The shadow matched her footsteps until they were both prowling like hungry wolves.

“How are you here, then?” Rey asked angrily. “Is this Palpatine’s doing?”

She snickered. “That old fool? _Please_ , that parasite doesn’t possess the energy to do anything more than whisper in your ear. You’ve already destroyed him twice.”

Rey immediately froze, feeling something snap underneath her feet. Slowly, she raised her boot out of the way, revealing a small gold and black worm, half-destroyed and writhing in pain. For a moment, she could hear the old man’s desperate voice rising up from within it. _Kill him. They didn’t come for you._ But then the writhing stopped, and it melted into the blackness.

“You see?” She said. “That creature was nothing. He didn’t bring me here. _You_ did. Your pain and grief opened the door.”

Rey felt her chest tighten. “That’s a lie.”

“I’ve never lied to you, Rey. In fact, you could say I’m the only one who understands the truth about us.” She said. Then something flickered, and the two women were only a couple of feet apart.

“What truth?” She asked, desperately trying to steel her shakiness.

The woman held her hands out wide and smiled mockingly. “That you created me, a very long time ago.”

Rey’s eyes widened. “No—no that’s not possible.” But even as she said those words, the truth hit her square in the chest. The woman standing before her had been there all along. Initially only a voice; teaching her how to use her strange abilities, telling her that her parents were right about her, they deserve to _suffer._ For so long, it was simply the source of some intrusive thoughts. Easy to ignore, easy to suppress. But the more she tried to lock her shadow away, the more powerful she became.

She moved again, too fast to comprehend. Rey let out a small yelp as her twin reached forward and wrapped her fingers around her neck, her golden eyes sparkling in the gloom. “Admit it, Rey. You’ve always been a wild little girl, running from her destiny as a Sith. You tried to pursue the path of the Jedi, but no matter what you did, the darkness kept calling to you. You let everyone call you a beacon of hope, but you were never any better than the people you despised. Never any better than Kylo Ren, Snoke, or even Darth Sidious, no matter how much you tried to deny it.”

She leaned over and whispered into her ear. “I am the part of you that you tried to lock away.”

Rey screamed as she felt claws sink deep into her back.

“I am your monster made flesh.”

Rey shoved her off and leapt back, her tongue dry and breathing rapid and shallow from the searing pain in her back and terror. The shadow lowered her arms and grinned widely, then melted into the swirling shadows. _You still reject me. Pity._ Suddenly, the platform vanished from under her, leaving her to sink into the endless sea. She tried to find the light and swim towards it, but the harder she tried the lower she seemed to sink. Eventually she gave up altogether and just floated in the space, staring tiredly at the faint star high above her head. She wondered if that would be it for her. If she was destined to die alone after only a fleeting moment of happiness.

Maybe this was what she deserved.

_You poor child…_ her shadow whispered into her ear. _Even now, you are terrified of your own darkness. You couldn’t stand to be alone, because you knew that it would force you to confront the kind of person you truly are._

_You’ve been taught for your whole life that impurities make you evil, so you’ve done everything possible to wash your hands of them and put on a happy face._

_Bury your parents but speak as if they were alive._

_Strike the man you love, but heal him out of remorse._

_Destroy your own kind, lose your other half, then go on smiling._

_Beacon of light. The galaxy’s only hope._

_The last jedi._

Laughter echoed through the abyss.

_The hero of the story._

A dagger of pain shot through her heart.

_What a joke._

Rey felt her eyes close, but she bit her lip and whispered to herself that she knew, of course she knew all of that. That’s why she had come to Tatooine. She couldn’t bear that life any longer.

_You hate yourself because of me, but you forget who drove you on this path. You forget who left you alone, forcing you to create your only companion._

_Your parents didn’t want you._

_Han Solo did not come back for you._

_Luke Skywalker, the Jedi legend you sought to become? He abandoned you._

_Leia, the mentor, the one woman who could have understood. She abandoned you._

_The Jedi only saw you as a vessel to end the Sith. Once you had fulfilled your purpose, they were happy to let you die alone._

_Everyone you have ever loved has left you._

That’s not true…she wanted to say. Finn came back for me. Ben came back for me. Rose…Jannah…they didn’t—they just wanted to help me.

_And yet here you are. Do you think your friends were ever going to stay?_

I’m the one who pushed them away. It was my fault.

_No…you lost them the moment the war ended and they went about their lives, leaving you behind. Finn, Rose, Jannah, and Poe and Chewbacca? When you created your dream, they only got involved because they wanted to destroy your chance at bliss. They never cared about what you wanted. Even now, they wait outside to take you down._

But Ben—

_Is dead. Your dyad, your other half is DEAD. Because the Jedi discarded him, believing it to be his fate._

_Regardless, a warrior of the dark side could never be allowed to live and love one of their own._

_His family abandoned him because his soul was tainted. Too angry, too powerful, too much of a reminder of their own failures._

_And no matter how much you deny it, even if you two had walked out of the throne room together, he never would have been accepted by your so-called friends. You could only be together in your dream because he never would have survived in reality._

Rey felt herself overcome by fatigue and sank lower, feeling the water grow cold. She was right…she was right about everything.

_Now tell me, Rey, what is a girl with a half a soul to do? How do you fill that void in your heart?_

I don’t know.

_What do you want to do?_

_Go back to being their puppet?_

A tear fell from face as she remembered her last moments with Luke and Leia. No…no, she couldn’t go back to them. Not after what she’d said and done.

_Or are you ready to start anew?_

What…what do you mean?

_Live for us, and nobody else. Annihilate anyone who stands in your way. Make your enemies suffer the way that you did._

I can’t…that’s not…

Her laughter echoed across the room, making Rey’s skin crawl.

_Not the Jedi way? Have you already forgotten the story of how they fell? How the once powerful Skywalker bathed their temple in blood? You recall how he fell in love and kept it a secret from his masters. How he lost his wife and friend? The holy knights could never accept all that he was. Alone, all he had left was the darkness calling to him. So he accepted it as his truth, and he became the most feared warrior in the galaxy. No one could hurt him ever again._

Distantly, she could hear sounds of lightsabers clashing. Two men crying out for each other. You were the chosen one! You were my brother. I loved you!

I hate you!

Stop…Rey whimpered, covering her ears with her hands. Stop, _please_.

Her eyes flew open as her twin appeared before her once more, her eyes now melted pools of gold and face grey as a corpse and cracked like broken marble. She held a hand out towards her, palm outstretched. _Let me take control._

No.

_Why not? I can hear every thought in the deepest recesses of your mind. You hate them, just like he did. If you can’t live happily, then why should they?_

For a moment, she saw flashes of what her life could be. She saw herself, dispatching of criminals and corrupt leaders who had spent years profiting off of the war, destroying lives, supporting the group that had forced innocents into its ranks. Destroying the last vestiges of the Jedi religion so that those arrogant ghosts could not use anyone ever again. A fresh pile of corpses in her wake. Flames burning all around her. Her own face, half-covered in a mask, made from the black and red shards of Kylo Ren’s. A bolt of crimson lightning emerging from her palm, wild and free. Rey, cloaked in black, smiling proudly, razing cities with a flick of her wrist. It was a sight that had flashed through her mind once before, when Ben had offered her hand. She was so afraid of that future, but now? It seemed strangely welcoming. A world where she would no longer have to suffer in silence. Even if she could not get him back, she could always carry a piece of him with her. She could use the power that she’d held back for so long. That feral part of her soul, the part that longed to tear worlds apart and make her foes fall to their knees and beg for mercy.

If she was destined to die alone and unloved…perhaps it was only right for her to be feared.

Her shadow leaned in close and placed a sharp nail under her chin, forcing it upwards.

_Just admit it. You want them to suffer like you have._

_I can help you accomplish that. Let me guide you. You just need to say the words._

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

_I want to burn it all._

_Good_ , whispered the darkness, wrapping its tendrils around her heart.

_Never let your hatred die_


	9. Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before Rey erected the dome, she had one last talk with her mentors that changed everything.
> 
> In the present, a new Rey awakens. But is that truly her, or has some darker force overtaken the last Jedi?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, once again the chapter was originally going to be a bit longer, but I chopped it in half again! Feeling kinda inadequate this weekend, especially since nothing I write can top the beauty of Wandavision episode 8! But please enjoy, and hopefully I'll have the next chapter up soon!  
> We're getting so close to the end, and I'm really excited!

“Rey,” An irritated voice said.

She did not take her eyes off the book. “What?” She asked dryly, leaning her forehead into her palm. The faint buzzing had begun to infiltrate her ears, making her pulse quicken and amplifying the sadness and anxiety already churning in her psyche.

“It’s not healthy for you to stay inside so much. You should get out.” He sighed. “Even if you don’t go off-planet, at least go outside today.”

She looked up and furrowed her brow at Luke, who was standing impatiently at the other side of the kitchen table.

“I’m not really in the mood,” She said quietly, her eyes drifting to the note she’d scribbled in an angry haze the night before, and Ben’s black sweater draped over the chair to her right. It had been exactly one year since the battle of Exegol, and she imagined that her formed Resistance teammates and people around the galaxy were celebrating, drinking, and thanking her and the other brave fighters for destroying the First Order and the resurrected Emperor in one fell swoop.

She knew that they were doing _something_ , because Finn and Rose had called her twice each in the past week, asking if she would finally come to the compound on Coruscant for a visit and enjoy herself for a change. She didn’t have the heart to tell any of them that she wasn’t interested, so she ignored their calls and closed herself up in the homestead with enough food and water to last her for at least a couple of weeks. Now she was in her little makeshift study, reading the same books over and over again, hoping to find a new translation, or perhaps a new answer.

Necromancy, a high-end Sith technique. Absolute no-go. It required a couple of blood sacrifices, and that was a line she would not cross.

Illusions were pale imitations of the real thing. One would never survive in the real world for more than a few minutes.

There were other things, some only half-translated, about temples on Lothal and the planet of the Mortis gods. But both were apparently lost to time, and even if she wanted to find them she didn’t know where to start looking.

There was one page that talked briefly about a series of trials that would grant a Jedi their heart’s desire. But half the words were in a very old tongue. Not even Luke knew what the rest of the page said.

Only two plausible solutions had ever shown up, but she already knew that her mentors did not approve of the first. The second…that was another story.

“You’re going to burn a hole through the page if you keep staring like that.”

A new voice. Leia was now sitting on top of the chair with the sweater, adorned in her old black dress in contrast to Luke’s light and earthy Jedi robes. Rey looked at her, furrowed her brow, then licked her lips and flipped the page before lowering her head once more.

The pair of ghosts let out exasperated sighs.

“Rey—“ began Luke.

“There’s something here I can use, I just need to find it,” She said firmly. She knew where this conversation was going. They’d had some form of it several times over the past few months.

“This is not helping anyone,” He said again, voice softer, but still laced with authoritativeness and condescension. “The world between worlds is not a solution to your problem.”

A faint, half-blue hand pushed down on the page, causing her to raise her eyebrows. “You don’t know that. You’ve never been.”

He sighed. “No, but I knew someone who did. Ezra Bridger.”

Ezra. He must have been of the Jedi she’d heard whispering to her on Exegol. She tilted her head in a gesture of fake curiosity. “And did Ezra bring anyone back?”

“Yes.”

She pursed her lips, then shuffled backward and stood up to meet his eye level. “Then there’s your answer.”

Luke frowned, clearly frustrated at her stubbornness. “Ahsoka was able to return because her death would have had no influence on the state of the galaxy. It was not her time. But Kanan gave his life so that his crew could survive. They couldn’t take him out of that moment, or it would have killed everyone else who was there that day.”

She cringed, the phrase pounding in her head. _Not her time._ Implying that Exegol had been Ben’s time. The thought made her swallow hard, then averted his gaze. “That’s not exactly a dealbreaker,” She muttered.

“Rey,” Leia said, standing up. “Don’t joke about that.”

She whirled and glared at her, heart pounding with a mix of anger and…guilt. Something flashed in her mind; a bolt of lightning hitting stone, illuminating the dark blue fog. A cold hand holding hers. “I wasn’t joking,” She said through gritted teeth.

“Ben did a noble thing,” Luke said, softening his tone. His words were slow, measured like he was afraid that she would blow up at any moment. “You need to respect it and move on.”

She stifled a bitter laugh. “Yeah, and what exactly should I be doing instead?”

“ _Something_!” He said, throwing his arms up. “You’re the last Jedi now, and you need to start rebuilding again.”

She crossed her arms. “I already trained Finn. Not my fault Jannah wasn’t interested.”

He started rubbing his eyes, though his hands seemed slightly transparent, creating a strange sight in the dimly lit room. “That is the bare minimum. There are hundreds of children and adults around the galaxy who need guidance. We can help you find them and rebuild the order.”

“Why, so I can be like you?” She bit the bottom of her lip, feeling her vision flash red. “So I can fail my students all over again? Attack one of them, destroy everything?” She asked sarcastically, immediately regretting her words. The tension in the air grew thick as she sat back down and mulled things over. Truth be told, ever since she started her official training, she’d wanted to one day create a temple of her own. Something voluntary, not necessarily aligned with the Jedi…but a place where frightened people could learn about themselves and learn how to help each other heal the galaxy.

But she refused to do it alone. And two ghosts did not count as companions or assistants (or parents). Not really.

Luke opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again. After a moment, she realized his gaze had drifted towards Leia, who had now stood up.

“What are you two talking about?”

Rey gave her a look and then felt her chest tighten. Her gaze darted back to Luke, who was now staring daggers at her.

He…he never told her the truth.

_Coward. Liar._ The shadows whispered in her mind. She felt anger swell up inside her like another tidal wave and turned, then met Leia’s eyes, ignoring him as best she could. “Luke never told you what actually happened that night, did he?”

“Rey—“

Leia’s eyes widened. “What are you talking about?”

She laughed hoarsely, bitterly, then pointed directly at him. “He drew a lightsaber on your son while he was asleep.”

“That’s not—“

She whirled back towards Luke. “You should have told her a long time ago.” Turning back, she could see that Leia’s ghost had vanished, likely to take a moment alone to process the information. She felt a pang of guilt, but went back to her book and checked the inscription again.

Luke regarded her with disapproval. “Rey, you don’t get to do that. It was Ben Solo’s time.”

“No it wasn’t,” She said, though the words came out in more of a snarl. “It was _mine._ All because you and the other Jedi used my body to destroy _your_ foe. He shouldn’t have had to pay the price.”

He sighed and took a seat at the right, causing Rey to grimace and shoot to her feet. In a huff, she walked over and removed the sweater from the chair, and held it in her hands. Perhaps he realized why she’d done it because he let out a tired groan and started rubbing his temples.

“You died while facing him on the battlefield. Leia told me what you said to her.”

Luke looked up, eyes wide.

“No one’s ever really gone,” Rey said quietly, clutching the fabric tight to her chest. “But I guess that was a lie. Even when he came back, you couldn’t accept him. That’s why he’s not here, isn’t it?”

“I—“

“Save it.” She said, shaking her head. “I’m getting him back.”

Hands slammed down, making her flinch. Luke climbed to the table and nearly roared. “I’m not going to let you jeopardize what’s left of this religion—my life’s work—just because you can’t let go of a dead man!”

She sucked in a breath, then felt fury ignite. “HE WAS YOUR FAMILY!!” She screamed. “AND YOU ABANDONED HIM!” She wanted to say something else, but the shock on Luke’s face made her hold her tongue and slink back into her chair.

“You feel lonely,” He said quietly. “I was in this exact situation once. I know how you’re feeling. But Leia and I are here for you, and you have friends. Talk to them, they’ll help you work through this.”

She leaned back and let out a bitter laugh. “You don’t know _anything_ about me.” Before Luke could respond, she leaned towards him and thrust her hand through his head. It went clean through, much to his chagrin.

“I’ve been living with ghosts all my life,” She said, bringing her hand back. It felt ice-cold to the touch. “And I’m tired of it all.” Tears were threatening to overtake her, along with a bombardment of shadows and visions from her childhood. Her parents, hazy and unclear, their voices muffled. Travelers around the campfire. A kindly old man, covered in burn scars.

A shiver rose up to her spine. _A young boy in the desert, offering his hand._

“If you exchange your life for his, then it defeats the purpose,” Luke said slowly. “There’s nothing else to do.”

Her gaze drifted towards the open book once more, detailing the _other_ solution. Luke realized it too because when their eyes met again, he started shaking his head in disapproval.

“Rey, you’re allowed to be mad at me, but dream-walking is not the solution. It’s old _old_ Sith stuff, you don’t understand how dangerous it is.” His voice was now laced with a strange mix of fear and desperation.

She raised her chin in defiance. “I don’t care,” She said, swallowing hard. “It’s either this or I pull him out.” Without another word, she turned away and began marching towards the door.

“REY!” His voice boomed, making the stone walls of the room quiver slightly. “This is not the Jedi way!”

Her face flushed and her heart started thundering through her chest as the rage within her threatened to boil over.

_A Jedi apprentice, bending to the will of your masters._

_Is that truly who you want to be?_

Rey whirled to meet his eyes, then clenched her jaw, lowered her chin, then uttered the words in a low voice.

“Fine.”

He opened his mouth to reply, but she cut him off, her voice as hard as steel.

“Then I’m done with the Jedi.”

Instantly, the room fell silent and she drew a short breath, realizing the weight of her words. She could feel her eyes begin to brim with tears at the sight of their stunned expressions, but as she stood there, she realized that…she’d meant it. Rey admired the knights as a child, yes. The stories of their adventures and victories were a tool that she could use to fall asleep at night and dream of something bigger than what she had. But she didn’t go to Luke because she desperately wanted to be like them. She went because she was afraid of her newly awakened powers and needed guidance. A teacher. She went because she wanted to be useful in the war effort; pay the Resistance back for giving her a new place to stay. Now…a year after the war ended, there was nothing for her to do, nowhere else to go. She had nothing left to offer the galaxy. And neither the Resistance nor the Jedi ever bothered to ask her what she truly wanted in return.

She wanted her family back.

She wanted _Ben_ back.

Wiping her eyes, Rey walked through Luke’s ghostly form before he could say another word, then climbed up the side of the pit until she stood on the desert sand, the golden and crimson suns rising before her.

“Rey—“ Luke called out, his voice only a whisper in the breeze.

She closed her eyes and willed herself to cut off the connection to her old mentor, then immediately felt something inside her break. A wire that snapped in two, breaking the current within. Rey didn’t regret it—she couldn’t bring herself to regret it. She just held the bunched-up sweater tight against her chest and marched through the sand, searching for a place where she could be alone to do the deed.

“Rey…” A woman’s voice called out in the wind. She whirled angrily, wondering if he’d found a way to break through, but all she saw was Leia Organa’s translucent form, clothed in a black and silver dress, hair done up in a high stone-grey bun.

She grimaced at the sight. “I’m sorry for what I said,” She muttered, averting Leia’s gaze. “But you can’t stop me.”

“I know,” she said, to Rey’s surprise. She froze as the old woman’s ghost stepped closer to her, then winced as she brought a hand by her cheek, unable to touch her but able to convey the meaning of her actions.

“Luke and I…we’re going to have a long conversation about this. But I’m sorry that you and I never really talked about what happened,” She said. “I truly am.”

Rey’s lip quivered as she remembered their many conversations in the year between Crait and the end of the war. Questions about her, the family, and how it had fallen apart. Words about her father and Ben, half-finished sentences hanging in the air between them. Rey, unable to admit the truth of her feelings to either of them and Leia, unwilling to face her own grief over her planet and family…let alone her hatred of her father. Both of them, too frightened to fight for what they truly wanted. And they’d lost everything because of it.

Leia smiled sadly, lowering her hand. “But we can’t change the past, no matter how much we want to.”

Rey took a step back, feeling her chest tighten and breathing quicken. “You too, then? You really think we should just leave it be?” It seemed so…so _cruel_. Ben’s life story had been written years before he was ever born, and they’d just resigned themselves to the ending. Never asking him how he felt, never trying to make him feel less lonely. Never fighting to change the narrative. Han had dared to do so, but he paid the ultimate price for it. Leia used her last breath to call out to him, and Rey had screwed it up. But now…it seemed like death had changed her. She and Luke. They were like puppets of the Force, never challenging its will. Even when it punished people who didn’t deserve it.

She paused for a long moment, waiting until Rey’s breathing finally slowed down. “I can’t stop you…” She trailed off, letting the words hang in the air for a moment. Letting the reality of Rey’s choice sink in. “But you need to understand that I’ve lost more people than you will ever know.“ She said quietly as if the very mention of them would threaten to destroy the protective barrier she’d put up around her heart. “I know how much you love him. And it’s not wrong of you to grieve for someone you can no longer see. It’s good to keep his memory alive. At the end of the day, I think that’s the best any of us can do.”

She stifled a cruel laugh. “You would really say that about your own son? You cheated death. You’re here, speaking to me because you chose to return to the Jedi and used their power to maintain your form. But Han didn’t get that choice. _Ben_ didn’t get that choice.”

Leia took a step back, and for a moment Rey swore she saw her lip quiver. When she spoke again, her voice was low and shaky. “I blame myself for Han’s death every day. But it was Ben’s choice to bring you back.” She took a deep breath and took a deep breath, perhaps to recall his face. “I knew my son, Rey. He gave you a precious gift, and he wanted you to use it to live a full life.”

That pierced her heart more than any insult or taunt Rey would ever hear. Her head spun, gaze darting around the desert as she suddenly started to feel as though walls were closing in around her. Then the anger returned. A new, venomous kind of anger, a bitterness at Leia, the one she’d confided in more than any other. She and her brother were two of a kind after all.

“Then maybe you never knew him.” She said, meeting her gaze. “Because I know that all he wanted was to see you.”

Leia sucked in a breath, and Rey’s eyes widened in shock. Without warning, she shut her eyes and severed their connection too, snapping the thread with a clean stroke. When she opened her eyes, Leia was gone, leaving emptiness before her. She sank backward and raised a trembling hand to her mouth, horrified at what just came out of her mouth.

Then she ran. She ran for hours and hours while her skin burned and sweat poured down her back and her buns came undone and left her hair flying. She ran until the suns were high in the sky and she had to squint from the light streaming into her face. She ran through the sands of Tatooine, tripping over rocks and avoiding the womp rats and stray hunters who roamed the nearby canyons and empty plains. She ran until she could barely feel her legs anymore. Finally, her body gave way and she collapsed into a heap in the centre of the desert. She could hear chattering not too far away from her from some natives, and all she wanted to do was scream at them and tell them to leave. Leave her alone, let her mourn in peace.

Ben’s words played through her mind like a harsh symphony, threatening to shatter her skull. Memories, fights, whispers of dreams that she’d held onto, and fleeting intimate moments together in the dark. She held his dark sweater tight against her chest and felt her eyes brim with tears all over again, wishing that he could be there with her, hold her, hug her, tell her that she would never have to be alone again.

“You liar,” She murmured, pressing the fabric against her mouth. “You…left…me.” One of her fingers found the gaping hole and passed clean through. Rey had been the one to put it there when she was too enraged and ashamed and horrified to admit to herself that yes, she did love him, she wanted to take his hand and feel his warm skin against hers and run her fingers through his hair. She never wanted to let him go.

But now it was too late.

Rey could no longer feel him at all.

All of the guilt and grief that she’d been carrying seemed to build up inside her as the tears fell like a waterfall and stained the sand, until finally—it burst. Rey lifted her head to the sky and let out a scream, a primal cry that carried every emotion she’d once tried to bottle up and every expression of her anger, hatred, love, and loss.

And then everything went white.

She awoke, later, on Naboo, standing on the edge of the balcony, looking out towards the crystal lake mist-covered mountains. Watching as the first sun began to crest over the horizon, signaling a new day.

“Rey.” A soft voice said, drawing her away from the scenery.

She turned and saw him there, leaning against a pillar with his arms cross and a soft smile.

_Ben._

***

The woman stood up shakily, as if it were her first time using her legs—or her whole body, for that matter. She lifted her head to the sky for a moment, blinking in the light. Sunlight, yes, sunlight. She was on Tatooine once more, where there were two of them, high in the pale blue sky. The golden sun and its crimson partner, locked in their eternal dance. She squinted and lifted her hand to block the light, but no matter how much she wished it, the second sun did not disappear.

_Strange._ She mused as she shifted her footing in the hot sand and moved to stretch her neck and limbs. After days of locking herself within her own mind, the feeling of being corporeal, of being in control seemed strangely foreign.

Perhaps that was not inaccurate. She’d spent her entire existence locked away in a box in her own mind, trapped within the shadows. One layer below reality, always observing and whispering but unable to react. Now…she was the one who could move her arms and legs…and control where she aimed that power. But still, she had to remind herself that she was not a god. She was stuck in a plane bound by rules that she could not bend. With each passing second, the heat from the suns’ rays stung her bare skin, making her wish for a moment that she could wrap herself up in shadows once more. The light, at one point the only source of comfort for a scared girl on a dead planet, now felt blinding and oppressive.

She opened her eyes and regarded her palm, taking in the sunken, pale skin, the lines of scars and callouses, and the grains of sand beneath her fingernails. Then, they twitched, her fingers curled into claws, and crimson sparks appeared, dancing around her palms as the sweet smell of burnt metal wafted into her nostrils.

“Rey!” A voice cried.

She turned slowly towards the sound, wondering who would be so foolish as to approach her, then lifted her chin and scoffed. So…Finn was still here after all. She lowered her hand and squinted to pick out the other figures behind him. Poe, Rose, and Jannah, trailing behind him. She could see that Jannah and Poe were the only two with their weapons at the ready and aimed. Rose’s hand was dancing at her waist, frightened and unsure. Finn’s hand was clasped around his hilt, but his arm was low and loose. Perhaps he hadn’t come to fight her after all.

Go—get out of here!

_Shut up_.

RUN—

She shook her head to clear the noise, then turned to face him. “Hello Finn,” she said, her voice as dry as the sand beneath her feet. She narrowed her eyes, hand drifting towards her weapon. For a moment it felt like a living creature under her skin, whispering into her ears to use it. Strike the first blow. “Have you come to kill me?” She asked plainly. Such an endeavour would be futile either way.

The question—the taunt—struck him like a dagger to the heart. He curled backward slightly, then straightened himself and met her gaze.

“You know I’m not,” He said, his voice echoing across the plain and into the churning sea in her mind. “Rey…I just want to talk.”

She pursed her lips together, the corners of her mouths twitching, unable to settle for a brief moment. Finn—after all of that, he still wanted to talk—that pathetic part of her wanted to reach out and—no, that’s not who I am anymore.

_What was it he’d said?_

_Let the past die._

_Kill it if you have to._

“Shame,” She finally said, feeling the warmth of the crystal beneath her palm. “Because I don’t want to hear anything--“ Her eyes drifted towards the others, who were getting closer by the minute. “—from any of you.”

She tilted her head towards Finn and grinned, then unclipped her own sabre from her belt, examining it fondly. The crystal inside was a delicate thing, taken from the remnants of Anakin Skywalker’s old sabre. It was almost amusing, the way that she’d believed the legends for a time, thinking that this weapon was something good and holy; the symbol of the all-powerful Skywalker bloodline. In truth, every one of their souls was stained with blood. Blood that they’d tried to erase for far too long. Rey had blood on her hands too. But she was done hiding.

She lowered the sabre to her side and took a deep breath, feeling the dark power flow through her, empower her, fuel her hatred and rage. It seemed to gravitate towards the source, like moths to a flame. So she let it go, then felt the surge of energy build in the crystal and target its weak spot from its fracture so long ago. _Weakness. Imbalance._

_Why didn’t she go with him?_

In her mind, she heard the sound of the kyber _crack!_ and felt the energy flow out from it in a wave, immediately drowning the painful memory and muffling the sound of her own screaming. Then she took a step and clicked it on. The blade hissed with life and emerged from the broken crystal like a bolt of lightning, jagged and red.

She took a deep breath and let her shoulders rise and fall, feeling the dark energy swirling within her and shut down all of her weaknesses. Then, her gaze still locked on Finn’s, she thrust her sword to the sky, sending forth a crimson blast of light that echoed across the desert plain. For a moment, the world matched the colour of her power. Then it broke, bringing back the blue sky, while millions of sparks began to fall around them.

Wordlessly, Rey flipped her grip on the hilt and sprinted forward, eyes burning, body electrified. A predator moving to kill.

Then, without warning, Finn tensed. He pivoted slightly and reached back, then swung towards her as she cut across the air with her blade. Red met jade-green, instantly creating a shockwave that lifted the sand around them into a vortex.

She was admittedly stunned at his choice but did not relent, even as he pushed forward with more strength than ever before. His warm brown eyes were burning like an inferno, carrying the brilliance of their lightsabers’ colours. Brows furrowed tight, teeth clenched—she could feel the rage radiating off of him as much as she could see it on his face. Rage, despair, guilt, fear, dancing around in his mind, protecting his heart but making him sloppy.

Finn—

The girl reached her palm towards the pinhole of light.

_No._

But that flash, that moment, that—that _weakness,_ gave him the opening he needed to push her off with all of his strength, causing her to stumble out of balance.

She cried out for her friend and pushed harder, propelling herself up and up and above the water level.

_Stay down, you pathetic child._

The tendrils took hold once more, strangling the next breath before it could leave her throat.

Rey regained her footing and let her breathing and pulse settle down, then met his eyes and snarled. Finn had lowered his blade slightly, but he was still keeping the light close, his brow furrowed and nostrils flared. A defensive gesture, and a warning. He was physically stronger than her—he could resist her next strike easily.

But she already knew that he wouldn’t attack.

A gust of wind blew through the space between them, and Finn took a step. Then another. Then they were circling each other slowly, like hungry wolves. Rey’s breathing grew slower and deeper with each breath, then halted altogether as a sudden weariness overtook her. Her eyelids felt heavy, her entire body felt like it was ready to collapse from exhaustion. Now that the adrenaline within her had slowed, every movement made her bones feel as though they were going to shatter. The reason for her weakness was obvious, but temporary physical limitations had no bearing on her ability to strike down a foe. Especially one who was so comparatively inexperienced with such a weapon. He was _nothing_ to her, she could destroy him and the others with little effort.

But her heart raced as he continued to match her steps, regarding her with his torrent of emotions and mask of a warrior. There was resolve in his mannerisms, and she knew from their year with the resistance that this quality, when wielded correctly, was his most powerful asset.

So she gritted her teeth and pushed her shoulder blades back, lifting her chin high in defiance. “Well, aren’t you going to fight me?”

The question passed through like a gentle breeze. “I already told you, that’s not what I’m here for.”

Out of the corner of Rey’s eye, she could see the others, holding their places, weapons at the ready, all still aimed carefully at her head. Backup.

_They want me dead, even if you don’t._

“I can guess what you’re here for,” She said coldly. She remembered that look of terror on his face when he’d seen her eyes change. The fear that took hold of his heart when he got his first glimpse of the monster within her.

“I want my friend back,” He said firmly. “Not whatever you are.”

That made her stop dead in her tracks. She snickered, feeling something new rise within her; a tidal wave of emotions she could not even comprehend. Her face flew into her hand as her body began to tremble and the laughter poured from her lips along with the uncontrollable tears.

_So he was serious?_ She thought to herself, recalling every moment that he’d bared his naivety while her chuckling evolved into a wicked howl. _It was Ren. It was Ren. It was Ren._ Was he really the same fool from a year ago who had placed the burden of her darkness on another?

Lifting her head, she tilted her gaze towards him, then frowned. No…no, something was different. His aura, once the pale and fleeting mark of a broken soldier, unwilling to see the world in anything but black and white, had changed. Stronger, more self-assured, wiser than even she could comprehend. He had seen his share of monsters…perhaps he had finally come to understand that his old companion and this new Sith _witch_ were one and the same. And no one, not even him, could block out the truth of the things she had done.

Ben’s voice whispered in her ears again. Another memory. _You can’t go back to them now._

_Like I can’t._

Rey’s eyes drifted to the floor as her laughter faded, then held her hot blade tight as her tears began to mark the sand. “She’s not coming back.” She said, her voice low, breaths quickening. Then she looked up and glared directly at him, taking a step forward. “The old Rey was weak. Pathetic.” The corner of her lips twitched, then she swallowed hard. “So I destroyed her.”

“No—“ He said, shaking his head. “I know you’re still in there. I can hold you off as long as I can, but you need to be the one to fight this.”

Finn—

”I know you can do it.”

Rey’s eyes widened and began brimming with tears, but she pushed down her doubts and marched forward, wrapping her second hand around her hilt. “You think so? I could end you in an _instant_.” She sneered the words through gritted teeth. Her entire body crackled with red lightning, once again warning him to keep his distance. But still, he did not falter.

Finn mimicked her movement and positioned both of his hands together on his hilt. A basic principle of swordplay—two hands are better. Each blow is doubled—no—tripled in power.

When she got close enough, he lowered his stoic barrier for a moment and actually smirked. “If you really wanted to, you would have done it already.”

Run. Save yourself you _idiot._

She watched as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, his shoulders rising and falling. When he opened them, he seemed…taller. More sure of himself. “I can feel you calling out to me, Rey, _inside_. So no matter what you say or do, I’m not leaving without you.”

White-hot fury blazed through her, and she let out a feral cry, leaped high into the air, and brought her blade to the crown of Finn’s head. He rolled out of the way just in time, but she was lither than him. Adrenaline coursing through her, she lunged to her side and pinned him down before he could climb to his feet. She thrust her crimson blade down, but he parried it aside and shoved its tip into the sand, breathing fast as the grains melted and the two scorching hot blades conjured sparks inches from his face.

The shadow bent down and pressed her knee hard against his chest. She watched carefully as the wall came down and his expression shifted once more, the wall collapsing to reveal his horror. That fear was like ambrosia to her, strengthening her and filling her with resolve. She lowered her head, letting her long dark hair drape down around them. When she opened her mouth, the words emerged as venom from the fangs of a snake.

“Then you will die.”


	10. Forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey's fight with Finn continues, but she is weak, and slipping. The dark side is unsustainable, but will it be enough for her to defeat her best friend?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, this was a long one. Honestly I might come back to it down the line (might just go through and edit the whole thing). I have a bunch of little worldbuilding ideas floating around, but I figure this is more than enough for the story right now.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's stuck by me all this time! We're getting very close to the end, and I can promise that the last two chapters will be real tear-jerkers (in a good way)!

Finn felt the tip of Rey’s blade dig into his shoulder and cried out, then shoved it aside and slammed the base of his palm into her chin, sending her stumbling backward. In a moment, he was up and moving, watching carefully as she adjusted her jaw and sneered.

Even as he gathered himself, her yellow eyes bore into him. The eyes of a predator—eyes of a Sith. The sight still sent a shiver down his spine. Finn could hardly remember seeing her when she’d been angry, let alone feral like this. They’d been separated on so many of their missions in the year between their first meeting and the fall of the First Order.She rarely spoke of the things she’d done, so he would keep quiet too, and they would rely on the tales from the people around them. The other Resistance soldiers would toast each other around the campfire, exchanging stories about their daring escapes and feats of strength and intelligence.

Three cheers for Rey! Best damn Jedi we could ask for! Saile had shouted once, raising his cup so quickly that half the alcohol within sloshed over his gloves and dropped into the hungry flames of the bonfire. Loud, drunk, overjoyed that he would get to live another day. Finn remembered how candidly he spoke of the mission, especially the way that she had taken down a squadron of ten—no, twenty—troopers with a flick of her wrist and a single stroke of her blade.

She fought like a _demon_ , he’d said. It was incredible!

Finn remembered how sheepish Rey’d looked in that moment, awkwardly holding onto her own rusted cup that never once met her lips. Her face hung low, brow furrowed, eyes locked on the orange and red light of the dancing flames. There was a certain…shame radiating off of her; embarrassment at how easily her comrade spoke of her prowess and ferocity on the battlefield.

He didn’t understand it at the time. He’d seen Rey fight—briefly—a few times. But more often than not, she was training or working alone in her private space. Even when they'd trained together in lightsabre combat, she was remarkably composed. He’d only really seen that angry, feral side of her when she was fighting Kylo Ren. That man was perhaps the only one who had ever found a way to push her buttons.

But this? No…this was something more. In the time that they’d been apart, something inside Rey had awakened. This anger was deeper than one person. This was a primal wellspring of white-hot rage boiling over, threatening to destroy everyone in its path. This woman was something else entirely, and he had to protect his friends from her no matter the cost.

_Finn—_

That voice. It was hers too, he was sure of it. She hadn’t uttered a word out loud, but it was as though she’d cried out his name from somewhere far away. It seemed muffled in between the aura of incomprehensible rage and grief in front of him. But no—no, his instincts were correct. Rey was still in there, and she was fighting…whatever this side of her was…to get back to the surface.

Finn tightened his grip around the hilt of his blade. The more he taunted her, the more ruthless she became. But she was easily distracted, easily unbalanced. And she looked so sickly and pale from her time in suspended animation. She was starving and critically dehydrated, that much was obvious. With each step, she seemed to lose more and more energy. She would run out of stamina soon, and once that happened, he could bring her to safety.

But he couldn’t just keep holding her off. If he was going to disarm her, he had to change up his tactics. He had to attack.

“ _Rey,_ ” He snarled, pivoting to the right. “We’ll work together to take care of this.”

No answer, save for a growl from the woman in front of him, and a twirl of her unstable blade.

“No?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. “ _Fine._ Then give me your best shot!”

Before Rey could react, he lunged forward with a loud cry, thrusting his green blade out towards her shoulder. She met him in the centre, raising her blade high, and they crashed together once more in a brilliant burst of light.

Again, he lunged for her, and again she blocked the blow. Rey shouted his name angrily and slashed the blade in a wide arc to cut open his heart, but it was too slow. She put her entire body into the swing with a loud huff.

Another sign that she was growing weaker.

Finn ducked just in time and swiped his leg across, knocking her off her feet. In a swift motion, he was standing above her, holding his green sabre at her throat.

“ _Listen to me,_ ” He said through gritted teeth. “You can’t win like this. You’re too weak.”

“ _Shut up,_ ” She snarled, squirming back until she could climb to her feet.

Finn stood tall and pointed the tip of his blade at her chest. “Yield, and I’ll give you what you want.”

Rey’s golden eyes flashed as she activated her blade once more. “What could _you_ possibly give me?”

He smiled mischievously. If this didn’t work, nothing would. “I know how to bring back Ben Solo.”

Her eyes dimmed, and she froze, sabre shaking in her hands. “No—no—you’re lying—“

“I’m not,“ He said, twirling his blade. “Search your feelings, you know it to be true.”

Low blow, bringing up a joke between them from training. And it definitely hit, because she snarled like a feral cat and flipped her sabre into a reverse grip, drawing a wide arc in front of him. Finn jumped out of the way and responded with his own, which she parried only weakly before stumbling back.

“You _bastard,_ ” She said, lunging. Slowly enough for Finn to avoid the blow. Her hand was shaking.

_Sorry Rey,_ he thought. _This’ll be over soon._

As if she’d heard him, Rey shot him a murderous glare and leaped high, then slammed her blade onto the sand just as he somersaulted out of the way.

When the sand cleared, she looked as though she was glowing with white-hot fury.

“I’ll—I’ll kill you—“ She said in between pants. “I’ll…kill you…all…”

Finn went rigid as she pointed her blade towards Poe. The three of them were only twenty or so metres away now. Close enough to get involved.

“Leave him out of this!” Finn shouted, thrusting her palm towards her. The Force burst forth from his hand, sending her flying a few feet to the side until she skidded across the sand.

She coughed, sending a splash of blood onto the sand. “I’m not done yet.”

Finn moved towards her, holding his sabre at his side cautiously, but then saw something move out of the corner of her eye.

Jannah was nocking her bow.

He reached out towards her, crying desperately. “Jannah don’t—“

But then the silver arrow whizzed past his ear. The world seemed to move in slow motion as he turned to see it fly directly towards Rey’s shoulder—but then she shifted slightly and shot a hand to her side, catching it mid-air.

“Clever,” She said, twirling the arrow in her hands. Finn watched, stunned at her agility, as she slammed the arrow into the sand. “But not good enough.”

Then Finn heard a buzzing in his ears and whirled to see Poe raise his blaster. His eyes widened and he ducked, just in time for the blast to whizz past.

Rey turned and froze the bolt in mid-air, causing Poe to grimace. Yeah…yeah, that was embarrassing. _If we make it out alive, we’ll find a way to laugh about this later._

“You’re pathetic, Dameron. Now,“ She said, turning around the circle that had formed. “Which one of you should I kill first?”

Finn lunged towards her, but she dodged this one easily and backed up a few feet.

“I know—“ She said, her eyes drifting to the side. Finn followed her gaze and found Rose there, holding her own blaster at the ready. “Rose, you were so intent on shooting me. You should have the honour of tasting my blade.”

“NO!!!” Jannah screamed.

Finn tried to jump in between them, fight her off, something, but Rey had just enough energy left to sprint towards Rose and wrap one arm around her neck, while the other held the blade dangerously close to her throat.

Rose shivered and tried to squirm outside of her grasp, but she did not relent. As he took a step forward, they exchanged an understanding glance. She was afraid, but not incapable. She was still holding her blaster tight in one hand, the other one was drifting towards the belt on her hip.

Finn took another step, hands held high.

“Don’t!” Rey shouted, quickly pointing the blade at his neck. “One move and she’s dead.”

Finn exchanged a quick glance with Rose, who nodded in return.

The sound of a blaster startled everyone and made Rey scream with pain and stumble back, a black hole where her foot was just a moment ago. Then, in a swift motion, Rose shoved her elbow into her stomach and turned around, stun gun at the ready.

Rey didn’t even have time to react before the bolt of blue electricity ran through her, and she fell to the ground, sending one last wave of sand particles high into the air while she writhed in pain. Then she went still.

Finn blinked in shock, then rubbed the back of his neck, remembering how strange he'd felt after Rose had used that weapon on him. Hopefully she wouldn't have to deal with too many side effects once she woke up.

The others jogged to meet them while Rose leaned down and placed two fingers on her neck.

“She’s fine,” She said, nodding at Finn. “Let’s get her out of here.”

He nodded in reply and looked down at her, searching for the voice, or some sign of her melody that could show him that she was alright. But all that had changed was in the harsh aura of her dark side. It was fading quickly, losing power like a defective ship.

He finally let out a breath once it had faded enough for him to feel comfortable bringing her back to the Falcon. She was gonna be okay. She just needed help. And he wasn't going to leave her, not in her time of need.

***

As she lost consciousness and fell to the earth, the shadow felt herself fall backward within the void, as though she’d just been shoved off the edge of a cliff. Then she was left floating…floating once more in the sea of her own creation, with the pinhole of light high above her head.

Despite her exhaustion, she managed to smile to herself, half-impressed that Finn had managed to beat her at her own game. That man held some darkness in his heart as well. But unlike Rey, who’d tried so hard to push it away that it took on an identity of its own, Finn seemed to wear his like a badge of pride. And he knew how to wield it as well as any weapon. He couldn’t take her head on so he chose to push her buttons, spark her rage, and taunt her until she felt the need to do something unbelievably stupid and impulsive.

Smart guy.

A long time ago, he’d been ashamed to tell her the truth about his past. A stormtrooper, trained only to kill, and taken from a family he’d never known. And though he’d never taken a shot before deserting, he was more than willing to do so as a Resistance soldier. _Of course, murder was acceptable as long as you allied yourself with the right people._

The shadow chuckled to herself. They were certainly alike in that way. Perhaps that was why, even now, she still felt a begrudging respect for him. Maybe once she’d recovered, she’d give him a chance to join her. They could find some of the old First Order officers who’d created him and so many other little monsters and lay them all to waste.

Well, only if he agreed. She had no qualms about just killing him. No point in keeping a super-soldier alive after he’d gone soft.

Someone was whispering far above her about the centre. Arguing about whether they should take her if it would be safe for any of them.

She felt something brush up against her back. Someone had picked her up, they were carrying her. Far above, she could only see traces of the sky and tufts of brown fur.

Any energy she might have had was long gone, so she let herself fall down and revel in the swirling shadows, thinking about all that she might do to those poor fools once she recovered her strength. She would annihilate everyone from her past and start anew. No survivors. No one to remind her of the pain she used to feel.

_Maybe I’ll save Chewbacca for last,_ she mused. _He has a right to know what happened before I run him through._

No.

The shadow’s eyes widened, and she whirled around for the source of the voice. What—no, no—no she was supposed to be gone.

Something moved in front of her, causing her to scowl and clench her fists at her sides. _You can’t stop me! You have no power either._

That’s where you’re wrong.

Then, without warning, the shadow felt an arm wrap around her waist, jerking her back, down further into the sea. The shadow snarled and tried to pull away, but their grip only strengthened and they continued to pull them further down.

The shadow felt someone’s warm breath against her neck, causing her to shudder. “I still have power over you,” A voice whispered. “And you will not lay a hand on them.”

“You—“ She sneered, but a hand clamped tightly over her mouth, muzzling her even as she writhed like a feral dog.

_Why defend them?! You had nothing left! You wanted to burn it all!_

“You’re only half-right,” Rey said, using all of her strength to pull herself and her twin to the bottom of the endless abyss. “I know they still care about me.” They fell together like two shooting stars plunging deep into the earth’s core.

Finn, Rose, Jannah, Poe, Chewie…after all of that, they were still willing to fight her. Fight _for_ her. Take out her dark side. Yet still carry her to safety.

A tear fell from Rey’s face as she felt a new wave of strength, allowing her to harden her grip on her shadow’s decaying form. They didn’t abandon her after all. After everything she’d done, they were still willing to stay by her side. They weren’t going to let her be alone.

“I care for them too,” She said, closing her eyes, preparing for the point of impact. “And I’m done hurting the people I love.”

***

Rey stirred once before finally waking up. She heard muffled voices again, and though she didn’t know what they were saying, she knew they must have been talking about her. Later, when she finally reclaimed enough energy to open her eyes, she found Finn standing over her, his face illuminated by the harsh white light of the room. With him, she could see Poe, Rose, Jannah, and even Chewie.

“H—hey…” She said weakly. Finn smiled at her widely, his eyes betraying his weariness. He was clearly relieved to see her awake…she wondered for a moment, how badly she’d been injured.

Wait—what happened?

“Goodness! Master Rey, you’ve awoken!”

She whirled, startled, to see C-3PO standing on the other side of the bed regarding her curiously. Then she heard something beep and rolled her head over to see R2 and BB-8 at the side of her bed.

“Hey guys,” She said quietly, rubbing her palm against BB-8’s little white head. The little droid chirped happily and rolled away, likely to return to Poe’s side.

Rey rolled back so that she was staring at the ceiling, then squinted at the sight of the blinding ceiling lamps.

“How are you feeling?” Finn asked.

She shifted herself onto her elbows and looked at him. For a moment, she saw his stoic expression again, eyes illuminated by his green blade.

“I’m…I’m okay,” She said, tilting her head. He had white bandages poking out from under the collar of his shirt, but he must have sensed her gaze, so he shifted his arm away.

“Where am I?” She asked.

Finn tilted his head towards a large window behind C-3PO’s head, where sunlight was streaming in from the city. Flying cars and droids whizzed by, barely making a sound through the glass. “We’re at the rehab centre on Coruscant,” he said. “Guess this is your first time visiting.”

Visiting.

He was being so nonchalant about everything. Why?

“Rey,” Poe said, walking closer to the bed. He crossed his arms, eyes narrow and brow furrowed. “What do you remember?”

She blinked, then started to say something. “I—“ She stuttered, trying to recall what had happened since Ben disappeared. Then she turned to her left, where the black sweater was neatly folded over a plain metal chair. Then—everything clicked into place. The darkness. Her shadow. Waking up and fighting Finn, attacking everyone, and then…falling unconscious.

_Monster._

She let out a small gasp and cupped her hand over her mouth, shrinking back into the pillow as the tears began to fall onto her shaking hand.

“Hey hey—“ Finn said, reaching out towards her. “You’re okay now, just take a deep breath.”

She tried to comply, but the realization was still sinking in, making her pulse quicken and breathing grow more rapid and shallow. What had she done?! She’d tried to kill her friends and tortured all of those people just so she could fulfill her own selfish desires.

The shadow had taken over her mind, forced her to become the very thing she hated most in the world.

The shadow.

No, no, it was _her._ The part of herself that she’d locked away, along with the truth about her life and her parents and the horrors of her childhood.

_You will die. I will make you all scream._

There was an emptiness there now, in the whole room, as though someone had removed all of the life from it. It was too sterile, too clean. No buzzing, no whispers, no temptations, nothing to draw the darkness towards the surface. But everything was still running through her mind. Every shred of guilt and shame and anguish, grief, white-hot fury.

She’d willingly held her best friend down and tried to run him through.

What kind of a monster was she?

If Finn could read the thoughts and emotions rushing through her mind, he didn’t show it. Instead, he reached towards her gently, then laid a firm hand on her shoulder, calming her down instantly. Within a minute, she could breathe normally again, and her heart had reached a slower pace. But her cheeks were soaked with tears, and when she reached up to clear them, she saw just how sickly pale and thin her hands had become.

“Rey?” Finn said, lifting his hand. “I’m going to take that as a yes.” He spoke slowly, deliberately, as if he were afraid that one wrong word would set her off again. Even in her dizzy state, she could see him take a couple of steps back, one arm in front of Poe.

She looked at Rose and Jannah, both standing at the far side of her bed with their arms crossed. Their expressions were entirely unreadable, but for a moment she saw something flash in Jannah’s eyes, just as she lowered a hand towards Rose’s hip. A threat. A warning. Don’t try _anything_ like that again.

Rey wanted to scream that she wouldn’t—she couldn’t—do that again, but all that came out was a hoarse whisper.

“I remember everything,” She said. “I’m sorry.”

A low growl sounded from the back of the room, and as she tilted her head in that direction, Chewie marched towards the bed and placed his palms on the hard white bedpost.

“RRaaaaoooaaao grrrrhmmm—?“

Rey was a bit stunned at his question.

“Y—yeah,” She replied, feeling an ache in her chest. _Did you really see Ben?_ All of that, and he was asking her about him. It would have made her smile, if not for the others in the room.

“He’s gone now,” She said, her voice low. _I’m sorry you couldn’t see him._ But how could she even think that? It was all a series of illusions, it was good that Chewie hadn’t gotten involved. Seeing all of that, only to watch it get ripped away…it would have broken the old Wookie too.

Chewie only looked at her sadly, then let out a low growl and patted the blanket covering her leg, perhaps a gesture of comfort. Out of the corner of her eye, Poe was looking at the two of them, half-angry and confused.

Suddenly, it felt like everyone’s eyes were burning a hole through her skull. It was too much, she needed to be alone before she lost control or said something unkind or gave them another reason to fear her.

“Can all of you leave?” She asked, her voice low. “Please?”

Jannah nodded, clearly relieved, then left the room with Rose and the droids. Then Rey turned towards Chewie and Poe, reluctantly standing by. Then Finn nodded at them and they cleared out moments later.

She’d asked _all_ of them to clear out, but something told her that Finn wasn’t going to clear out either way. Truth be told, she was grateful that he was willing to stay behind.

Then he took a seat at the edge of her bed, making her shuffle away nervously.

“You really scared us,” He said with a sad smile, his voice betraying the slightest tremble.

“I’m sorry,” She whispered, averting her gaze. “But I promise you, it won’t happen again. I took care of it.”

“You don’t have to apologize so many times,” He said firmly. “I know you didn’t mean any of that.”

She met his eyes for a moment and half-opened her mouth, feeling a pang in her chest. She had no response for that.

Finn looked at her curiously for a moment, and she felt his gaze bore into him, as though he were searching for some meaning in her eyes. Then, she heard him draw in a quick breath and whirled around to see him staring at her with concern.

“You closed yourself off…didn’t you?”

She nodded, pulling the blanket closer to her chest. It was the only way she could think of to stop her…other side…from hurting her friends anymore. It was hypocritical of her, she knew, and she could feel a heaviness on her shoulders, as though the effort she was exerting to imprison the shadow was akin to holding up a mountain.

“Rey you know that’s not a permanent solution--“

“ _I know_ ,” She said, harsher than she’d meant to. Biting her lower lip, she continued, “But I don’t want to risk anything. Not while I’m here.”

Finn exhaled sharply. “And…when you leave again? What do you plan to do?”

She flinched. “I—I don’t have to leave.” She didn’t have anywhere else to go.

“Okay,” He said, nodding towards her. “Glad to hear it.”

She regarded him suspiciously for a moment, then pursed her lips. “Why didn’t you leave with the others?”

Without replying, he turned away from her and bent down to rummage through something outside of her line of view. Then, he turned back towards her, a book in hand, pages lined with numerous pages. She recognized that book. It was one of the texts that she was unable to translate. She knew that it involved the Jedi, the world between worlds, and the gods of Mortis, but she didn’t know how or why they were connected.

“I told you during our fight, that I knew how to save Ben.”

She swallowed hard. “You did.”

He drew in a deep breath. “I wasn’t kidding.”

Rey flinched. What…what kind of game was this?

“I called in a favour,” Finn said. “I know you and Beaumont aren’t friends, but he’s got access to a lot of historical artifacts and languages. He was able to piece a few things together from the older Jedi texts…and I think we might have found a way to get Ben Solo back.”

She blinked. “What?”

“Listen, Rey, I know you were trying to go to this…’world between worlds,’ or whatever it’s called.”

Rey bit her lip, recalling her argument with Luke and Leia. “It’s not possible. Ben died to save me,” She said firmly. “If I were to even try to get him back, I’d end up dying all over again.”

And Ben would resent that forever.

“No,” Finn shook his head. “This isn’t…whatever that is.” He shifted closer to her and opened the book so that she could see the half-faded text and runes. There was a note attached to one of the pages, containing the translations. And underneath, she could see a picture of a white triangular door, with a wheel of wolves walking just above the circular tunnel in the centre.

“The world between worlds has a number of doors to different planets. Places that we can’t access through normal space. Exegol is one of those planets. Ahch-To is another. You and I both know how long and treacherous those journeys are. But each of them has a door to the place in between. And you can use the doors to move between them in no time at all.”

“What are you getting at?”

He moved a finger towards the translations. “No one’s ever been able to find Mortis, apparently it keeps changing and moving, but according to the book, it has its own door too. And then—“ Finn handed her the book and motioned for her to read the full note attached.

“‘Once a Jedi has shown themselves to be pure of heart, they may enter the realm of the gods (Mortis) of their own accord. Once there, they may achieve great rewards, only if they give to the Father that which is equal in value to their heart’s desire.’”

“What do you think?”

She stared at the book for a long while, then felt her palms begin to tremble with grief and rage. This felt like torture. Another path that would ultimately prove to be impossible. Another fruit dangling in front of her, ready to shrink away that moment she’d reach out to taste it.

It took all that Rey had not to throw the book to the far end of the room.

“Why are you showing me this? What do you think this is going to accomplish?”

Finn gave her a frustrated glance. “You want to get him back, don’t you? This _is_ what started everything.”

She gulped. “And what? You think if I don’t find him I’ll lose my mind again?”

That made him purse his lips and pluck the book from her hands. “I don’t think that,” He said firmly, setting it down on the chair next to the sweater. “But you clearly need some closure.”

A dagger flew right into her heart, making her clutch the bedsheets tight. “Closure?” She said, nearly chuckling. “I watched him die twice, Finn. _Closure_ isn’t the right word here.”

He rolled his eyes. “Fine. Then just try it because you deserve a break.”

That made her laugh bitterly. “Why do you care so much? He’s _dead,_ he’s _gone,_ and he’s not coming back!”

He opened his mouth to respond, but she just snarled and pointed at the book. “A Jedi, pure of heart? I am the furthest thing from that. _You_ would have better luck getting in. Hell, Poe would have better luck getting in! And ‘something equal in value?’ What exactly do you think that means?! Ben is a person. There is no version of this where we manage to walk out of there together. One of us will always have to die.”

“It doesn’t say you give up a life—“

“It’s all the same!” She cried, throwing her hands up.

“FINE!” He thundered. “Be that way! I know you love to see the world in black and white. I did too, a long time ago. But there’s always a third path. You have a chance, so why won’t you take it?!”

She froze. Why? Because she was scared. _Terrified_ that she’d fail, that she would be found out as a fraud by the gods. Frightened at the mere idea that she would succeed, only to see Ben again and watch his face fall as he discovered how much of a monster she truly was.

_You know how to find me. You know what you have to do._

Rey clutched the fabric at her heart. Why were those the parting words? Did he know something that she didn’t?!

“I know, it’s scary,” Finn said with a low voice. “But if there’s anyone who can do this, I know it’s you. Don’t ask me how, I just—I can feel it, you know?” He shrugged, but she only crossed her arms.

“You didn’t answer my question,” She said sharply. “Why do you care? And don’t say closure again. I’m not—say that I could, he doesn’t—he shouldn’t come back just to make _me_ feel better. He had his own life to live.”

Finn let out a long sigh, then started to rub his temples. “I know. But I just—“ She watched as he turned away and bit his lip just as it was beginning to tremble. “Since the war ended, my greatest regret is that I didn’t try to get my old comrades out of there. So many people died on Exegol, children and adults alike, and not one of them ever got the chance to live outside of the First Order. We built this place off the bones of the ruined Jedi temple to help people around the galaxy—defectors, rogues, anyone—find a home and get better.” He stopped for a moment, and sniffled, then wiped his face with his sleeve. “It would be hypocritical of me to just…ignore the two people in front of me who need the most care.”

Rey felt herself fall back against the pillow as if he’d knocked the air out of her.

“So…” She finally murmured. “You want to help him.”

He nodded. “It’s what Leia would have wanted, right?”

Rey grimaced, then turned away. “Yeah…” She said, turning away so that her face was half-buried in the pillow. “It is.”

The silence filled the air between them for a moment, then, out of the corner of her eye, she saw him pick up his bag and start to walk towards the door.

“We’ll keep an eye on you until you get your strength back. Try to get involved in activities here, okay? It might make you feel better.”

She sighed. “Okay, I’ll try.”

His shoes clicked against the floor, but just as the metal door began to slide open, Rey shifted so that she could see him.

“Finn—“

He turned. “Yeah?”

“I’ll think about it,” She said. “And…” Her eyes drifted towards the black sweater and book, side by side on the chair. “Thank you for bringing the sweater.”

“It was his, right? I can feel him when I’m near it.”

“It is.” She murmured, pulling up the blanket.

“I didn’t bring it back though,” Finn said. “Jannah did.”

Then the door slid shut behind him, leaving Rey alone once more.

***

That night, she dreamed of an ocean. Smooth as glass, crystal clear, reflecting the azure blue of the sky and the fluffy white clouds. Looking up, she could see the island in the distance, tall and green, radiating its energy. Ahch-To…the birthplace of the Jedi, but harbouring both darkness and light.

Someone was standing far ahead of her, close to the island’s shore, dressed in pale earthy robes and holding a large blue lightsabre. Even from her position, she could see his long and curly black hair and large physique. She called out his name, but it only came out in a whisper. Then she sprinted towards him, arm outstretched to grab him, hold him, bring him back. But just before her fingers brushed against the fabric, he fell through a crack in the floor, down into the bottomless sea. She screamed his name and tried to claw through to get ahold of him, but the surface was unyielding, as though she were standing on a diamond.

She cried out again and again, even as he floated up towards her, his face gaunt and pale and eyes shut tight. How could she get him out of there? Nothing seemed to work. Nothing at all.

Looking up, she could feel her eyes welling with tears as her surroundings faded until she was floating in darkness, surrounded on all sides by ribbons of starlight. Something flickered in the distance. Something blue, sparkling. But it faded away just as quickly.

_You know how to find me._

_You know what you have to do._

Rey awoke with a start, but then wrapped the blanket tightly around her, waiting for the images to fade and her pulse to slow.

The dream replayed nearly every night after that, always with the same ending. No matter how hard she tried, she could not get him back.

During the day, she took Finn’s advice and worked hard to get herself acquainted with the centre. It was an impressive structure, built from the bones of the planet’s old Jedi temple. Though she felt no traces of the Force, she imagined that there were still vestiges of it, lingering in the halls and rooms.

There were about two hundred and fifty people in the centre, all former stormtroopers. They were quite friendly, often greeting her in the halls and offering her spots in the group therapy sessions that she would wander into. Sometimes she accepted, but then they’d start talking about their childhoods and experiences fighting in the war. They’d promised it would be a judgment-free zone, but once they started talking about the battlefield, and how many times they’d watch their comrades die at the hands of Resistance soldiers…she’d remember the things she’d done, and immediately feel a painful knot form in her stomach. Moments later, she’d be out the door.

It was strange, seeing so many people who’d only been faceless soldiers to her a year ago. For a long time, Finn, Jannah, and her team from Kef Bir were the only defectors she knew. She didn’t dwell much, partly because she lacked the talent for sensing emotions with the Force. But they carried that pain with them. And they’d made something out of it.

As terrible as she felt, she could see they were doing their best to heal. They’d managed to forgive the world, each other, and themselves.

Perhaps one day, she could do the same thing.

One night, a couple of weeks after her arrival, Rey was wandering the halls on her own, wearing Ben’s sweater over the clothing that Finn had given to her. It was late, and aside from a few stragglers, no one was around to give her a funny look or try to make conversation. It was quite late, but there was plenty of light streaming through the windows; some from the blue glow of the moon, but most of it from the flashes of flying vehicles and buildings of the eternally bustling metropolis. The thickness of the glass muted all of the outside sounds, which Rey was quite thankful for. She didn’t realize how much she’d missed silence. It helped her get her thoughts in order.

As each step echoed quietly across the floor, Rey thought about how many years ago…in another life, she might have made this place her home. The centre was a patchwork of old Jedi architecture and upgraded pieces of brilliant diamond-hard glass and white marble, but this section had been largely untouched, save for the section far to her left that had been converted to a two-floor recreational area. Above, there was a gymnasium, complete with equipment for games and various team-building exercises for the members. Below the glass floor, there was a large pool, the water light and sparkling. Both were empty; normally she could hear the squeaks of shoes and the churning sounds of the water moving.

Rey had a strange fondness for the water, considering how dry Jakku was. Perhaps it was yet another strange longing for something she could not have. Regardless, she didn’t see herself as a talented swimmer, but sometimes she would find excuses to bathe in the pools on Ajan Kloss. Not even really to bathe, but just to feel the coolness against her skin. She dreamt so often of drowning, but…perhaps that was some part of her brain fearing what it did not know. Since arriving at the centre, she’d meant to go in and work on her swimming, but it was usually too crowded…perhaps she could get over that and start soon. Now, of course, it was too late at night. No one was around to help her.

Without meaning to, Rey found herself walking over to the glass wall separating her from the pool and pressed her forehead against it, staring blankly at the water. For a moment, she saw herself jumping through the glass, shattering it into a million pieces to rain down onto the floor below. But then the sight of Ben flashed in her mind once more. Silent, unconscious, floating in the water.

With a deep breath, she removed herself and marched to the stairwell that would take her to the right floor. She climbed down, reached the door, and placed her palm against the sensor to get inside. Immediately, she was met with a surge of white light and squinted to let her eyes adjust. Then, seeing the water nearby, Rey strode towards it hesitantly, eyes darting around the room to see if anyone would come in and reprimand her. When she realized that she was alone, she let out a sigh and sat down next to the edge. Slowly, she removed her shoes and tucked her green pants as high as they would go, then dipped her toes in.

The coolness of the water immediately made her drop her shoulders with relief, and as she lowered her feet further she could feel every part of her body relax and unwind. Closing her eyes, she leaned back and smiled softly to herself, taking in the cool sweetness of the mountain air and imagining that she was at the lake again with Ben.

His face flashed through her mind, causing her to open her eyes and sigh, then lean over and stare into the water. Her reflection stared back, blurry and pale, and then—suddenly, she saw his face again. Eyes closed, as though he had floated up from the depths.

Hesitantly, Rey reached out her hand and brushed the tips of her fingers along the water, half-wishing that it was real. But once more, she saw her own, and it then it disappeared.

“Rey?”

She yelped, nearly jumping out of the pool, then turned her head to see Rose standing at the edge of the threshold, holding a small box by her side.

“H—hey,” She said quietly, offering a small smile. She’d hoped to be alone, but if anyone was going to come in here…she was kind of glad it was Rose Tico.

The silence hung in the air between them for a few moments, and then Rey realized why and felt the heat rise in her cheeks.

“D’you want me to get out of here?” She squeaked, pointing to her submerged feet.

“No, you’re alright,” said Rose, striding towards her. “I just saw that you were in here, figured you could use some company.”

Rey sighed, unwilling to protest, then turned back to the water and pressed her palms against the edge of the deck. “Thanks,” She muttered.

Wordlessly, Rose sat down next to her, set the box down delicately, removed her shoes, then submerged her feet next to Rey’s.

“Aaaaaahhh,” She said quietly. “That’s the stuff.”

Rey lowered her gaze out of embarrassment, but then her eyes fell on the black box, causing her to raise an eyebrow. “What’s that?” She asked.

It took Rose a moment to realize what she was looking at, but once Rey lifted a finger she looked down, eyes widened, then her cheeks went red.

“It’s umm,” She said, moving it out of Rey’s line of sight. “Something for Jannah.”

Rey pursed her lips, but didn’t press on. It was clear what the little gift was, but the thought of the two of them moving further along with their relationship just sent a dagger of pain through Rey’s heart. At the time…she’d thought that she was offering them kindness. She gave the two of them opportunities to spend time together. But now…all of those moments when they’d held hands, fought together, stuck by each other in times of danger. They’d bonded, but that was because they were just trying to survive. She’d tortured them, and she knew in her heart that neither of them was obligated to tell her about it. They didn’t need to forgive her at all.

She shivered, remembering her blade at Rose's throat.

“This might sound wrong, but…” Rey drew in a deep breath. “Thank you for electrocuting me.”

Rose raised an eyebrow. “Really? I mean, I’m glad you’re better, but—really? It’s not exactly the most elegant method.”

She nodded, staring at her blurry reflection in the pool. “It was the kick I needed. I can’t tell you how sorry I am for attacking you like that. I was—I still am—a mess.”

“Yeah, I’ve been meaning to ask, like…why did you do it? And what exactly happened to you in there?”

A shiver ran up Rey’s spine, and she wrapped her arms around herself protectively. She knew that it was a layered question. Where would she start? Ben’s fate? No, Finn must have told her. Or she would have deduced it from her time in the dream.

The mind tricks? Her tantrums, the way that she threw them out? Or…was this about what happened after?

“The dream…” She let out a long sigh. “It was a Sith technique. I was warned not to use it, but I didn’t listen. I just wanted to spend more time with Ben. But…I think…I have too many demons, and the longer I spent in there, the more powerful they became. They overwhelmed me.”

“What do you mean?”

Rey let out a long breath, feeling her lips quiver and tears gather at her eyelids. “I—I killed my parents.”

_I’m a monster._

Rose did not respond, but saying it out loud…Rey could feel the wall collapse in her mind, letting forth a tide of emotions that made her collapse into a trembling heap. She felt a hand rest on her back as she started sobbing. Rose held her tighter as she began to flow, her salty tears mixing with the purified water of the pool. Finally, when she felt like she’d managed to get it all out, she wiped her eyes with her black sleeve and turned to meet her friend's eyes.

“I’m sorry,” She said, her voice raspy. “You didn’t need to know that. I just—“ She just needed to say it, instead of burying the truth again.

“I—I honestly don’t know what I’m supposed to say,” Rose muttered. “I guess…I’m sorry that you had to hold that in for so long.”

She stifled a laugh. “Yeah—“ Rey said. Maybe she could have avoided all of this chaos and misery if only she’d faced her past sooner. But she let it fester and grow until it became a demon, a shadow that tormented her and constantly sought control of her body and mind.

Rey shuddered and held a fist close to her heart, feeling her pulse quicken, as though her other half were squirming within, crying out and trying to break out of the cage and overwhelm her once more. Perhaps one day she would follow Finn’s advice and open it again, try to snuff out her darkness on her own terms. But she wasn’t ready.

Not yet.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Rose asked softly.

Rey shook her head. “It’s a long story.”

“Okay,” she said softly. “But if you ever want to…I’m here.”

Rey smiled to herself, thankful for that promise. For a little while, the only sounds in the room came from their legs shifting around in the water.

“I’m sorry for what I did in there and on Tatooine…” Rose finally said. “Even though a lot of it is still hazy, I know I—“

“It’s fine—“ Rey interjected. “You were right to do what you did, even in the dream…I just didn’t listen. I treated you, Jannah—everyone—terribly.”

She leaned back onto her palms, eyes raised towards the ceiling. “She’ll come around. We all have our demons, the only difference is that you have superpowers. Guess that raises the stakes.”

“Yeah…” She whispered, leaning back to match Rose’s position. “Suppose it does.”

The hiss of the lightsabre. The sight of her crimson blade clashing with Finn’s green one. It all sent another shiver through her.

“How much do you remember from the dream?” She asked, eyes darting towards her to pick out a reaction.

Rose simply shrugged, her expression surprisingly nonchalant. “It’s hard to keep track. I think Jannah and Finn retained more because they were always self-aware. I just get flashes of the planets. Sights, smells, random details. And I don’t always know if I’m seeing things from the dream or…memories, y’know?”

“Like what?”

“I remember a bonfire. Bunch of people sitting around it and sharing tales. I guess that was a memory?”

Rey nodded, then leaned forward, setting her elbows on her thighs.

When Rose eyed her curiously, she sighed. “When I was a child, I used to sneak up to the bonfire and listen to their stories. They helped me get through some lonely nights.”

“So some part of your brain brought them back?”

Rey felt warmth rise within her, but it was clouded by her guilt. “I guess so,” She said quietly. “I think part of me always wanted to live in their tales. I could be a Jedi or a princess or…anything I wanted to be, anywhere, anytime.” She drew in a deep breath. _Where no one could ever hurt me. And I could never hurt them._

Coruscant, from the old one-eyed gruff woman who'd stopped the bonfire one night. Canto Bight, from Finn and Rose's campfire tales. Nevarro and the swamp...stolen from Ben's memories. And Naboo; from the burned man's story.

The silence hung in the air for a moment, making Rey slump her shoulders further, heavy with shame and sadness. She was such a child. Absolutely pathetic, always using stories as crutches to avoid facing her pain.

“I know how that feels,” Rose said softly. Rey’s gaze drifted towards her, an eyebrow raised. She was staring intently at the water and smiling, as if lost in thought, while her fingers were wrapped around the shining crescent pendant around her neck. She’d told her once about the other half, about how it had belonged to her sister Paige.

Rose must have felt Rey’s gaze on her, because she turned her head slightly, eyes sparkling. “My parents used to tell us stories from their childhoods. Some were from the people of our planet, others were brought to us by travelers. They…they helped us get through some pretty tough times.” She sighed, then raised her head, lips trembling. “My favourite was about a husband and wife, Cadeo and Xuan.”

Rey turned her head so that their gazes were locked. That caused Rose to smile, and within moments they were both sitting cross-legged a few inches away from the pool.

“Okay, so—“ Rose began, sitting up straight and proudly holding her arms out like a grand conductor. “Cadeo was a renowned singer, and Xuan was a songwriter. They fell in love and got married, but not long after she died when they were in a cave and the ceiling collapsed on top of her, trapping her spirit in the underworld. He couldn’t bear to live without her, so, using a silver string to mark his path, he walked to the deepest part of the mines to find the lord of the dead and get her back.”

Rey swallowed hard, then started rubbing the back of her neck, averting her gaze. “Okay…” She muttered, feeling the warmth rise in her cheeks. For a moment, she wondered what exactly Finn had shared from her notes. Perhaps Rose knew about what she was already considering.

Perhaps Rey hadn’t been the first one to try.

“He sang the lord a love song, and so they allowed him to take Xuan with him…on the condition that he would walk in front of her on the way out, and they would only use the string for guidance. No light at all, so he wouldn’t see her shadow. If he turned back before reaching the surface, she would disappear forever. So…you know, _naturally_ he nearly made it to the end of the tunnel, turned around because he was worried he was being tricked, and she vanished.”

She narrowed her eyes at her friend, then closed them and shook her head. “That—is that it? He just…loses her forever?”

Rose nodded, leaning her head against her palm. “Yeah…I don’t really remember anything else. Knowing how Haysian tales usually go, Cadeo probably died in the mines too. Falling rocks or something—“ She waved her other hand dismissively.

Rey raised an eyebrow, a playful smile forming at her lips. “Seriously? What an awful story.”

Rose grinned and tilted her head. “Paige said the same thing. After…” Her eyes fell to the floor for a moment. “After our parents died, we started bringing them back. But she made a point to change the ending. In our version, Cadeo and Xuan put their faith in each other, and he waited until the right moment before turning back. She didn’t disappear, so they lived together on the surface world.” The corner of her mouth twitched as she clutched her pendant tight. “Happily ever after.”

Rey’s eyes widened, her heartbeat quickened, and without warning, she felt tears started to form at the corners of her eyes.

Her face dropped at the sight, causing Rey to sigh and wipe them away. “That’s…that’s really nice,” She managed, her voice low and shaky. “But why are you telling me this?”

Rose let out a weary sigh, then leaned forward and gently touched the surface of her hand. Her palm was warm, welcoming, and it sent a cascade of sparks through Rey’s body.

“Rey, I know very little about all of this stuff. Jedi, Sith, the Force…before I met you, they were just details in children’s stories. I still don’t really claim to understand it. But I know what it feels like to lose the people you love. It’s been two years since I lost Paige; seven since I lost my parents…” She drew a shallow breath, then touched her pendant again. “You’d think it would get easier with time, but it doesn’t. I still think about them every day. And I’m not afraid to say that if I had your abilities…I would have done the same thing.”

Rey opened her mouth, then closed it and met Rose’s gaze, feeling her palms begin to tremble while something tugged at her heart, as though the rest of the walls she’d erected were starting to crumble and release another tidal wave of emotions.

“Really?” She asked.

Rose nodded, then smiled warmly. “And I know that, if I could, I would fight tooth and nail to bring my family back. No matter the cost.”

That made her jerk her hand back, heat rising in her cheeks. “What did Finn tell you?”

“Just that it was an option. It still _is_ an option…right?”

Rey drew in a nervous breath. It is an option, part of her wanted to scream. It will always be an option.

She nodded, then dropped her gaze. “I spoke to Leia before it all happened. She said that I--“ She drew in a shaky breath. “She didn’t want me giving up my life for him. Ben wouldn’t want that. And I know she was right but…I don’t know what else I have to offer.”

When Rose didn’t respond, she looked up and met her dark eyes. “‘Give to the Father that which is equal in value to their heart’s desire.’ What exactly equals the value of a human soul?”

Rose shook her head. “I couldn’t tell you. I think that’s something you have to figure out.”

“And if I can’t, then it’ll all have been for nothing.”

Rose let out a long sigh, then climbed to her feet, leaving Rey cross-legged and staring up helplessly.

“Rey, I don’t think any of this was for nothing. But you need to figure out what’s most important to you.”

Rey’s gaze fell again, but then she felt a hand gently press against her shoulder.

“You really love him, don’t you?”

She nodded breathlessly.

“Okay. Then think of this as your Cadeo moment. Sing your love song. Fight to save him with everything you have. And then…then you two can write a new ending together.”

Rey stood up, hoping to say something, but Rose just smiled and brushed her fingers against her pendant, eyes sparkling in the white light. Before she could respond, her friend had turned around, picked up the box, and started walking towards the door.

“Rose—“ Rey said, reaching out as the glass slid open.

She only half-turned around. “You don’t need to figure the answer right away. But we all believe in you. We’ll help you get him back, no matter what.”

“I—“

“Just…make sure to turn off the lights before you leave. Okay?”

Then she strode through into the hallway, leaving Rey alone once more. She stood in silence for a moment, then felt a tear fall down her cheek and wiped it, chuckling to herself. She’d wanted to thank Rose. Thank her for trusting her enough to talk to her.

And for giving her the answer she needed.

***

Finn and Poe were working together in the main office, sorting through files and applications, and arguing for who knows how long about whether they’d be able to afford a new addition to the centre. It was a second hall of bedrooms; the influx of defectors was starting to put a bit of strain on their resources, so it only seemed fair that they would find a new place to put them. Plus…for the number of homeless folks in the city, Finn figured it only seemed right to at least have some space put aside for anyone who might need a place to sleep for the night.

Poe didn’t disagree with his ideas, but he just really, _really_ hated the paperwork, and unlike Finn he did not hold back on spouting his opinions. With his second job on the new Republic council, he knew that he’d have to be the one to schmooze the others into forking over the credit and construction workers again. They were growing increasingly less enthusiastic, especially since they didn’t make any immediate profit from it. But, it was important to Finn, Jannah, and Rose. So they’d find a way to make it work. Of course, once that was over, they needed to give themselves a bit of a break.

Well, suffice it to say that Finn was a bit relieved to see Rey march into their office without permission, fully decked out as though she was going to go climb through a set of broken buildings.

He raised an eyebrow once she stopped a few feet away from the desk, a playful smile dancing across his lips. She already looked infinitely healthier than she’d been only a week ago. Nearly all of the colour had returned to her skin; her cheeks were rosy, and her hair was combed and tied into a neat braid that hung across her shoulder. She was wearing that enormous sweater too, with one of her silver pieces of fabric draped over her left shoulder, and a belt wrapped tightly at the waist so that it looked like more of a tunic. He could feel hints of its old wearer’s aura emanating off of it, though it was, of course, old, frayed, full of holes, and approaching gray from its exposure to the desert air and sunlight. But it had been cleaned so the stench was no longer present, and she seemed comfortable wearing it, so Finn had no reason to criticize her.

“What’s up?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

She took a deep breath and raised her chin. “I’m ready. I’m going to back to Ahch-To and the world between worlds.”

Finn and Poe stared at her open-mouthed for a moment, then exchanged a glance.

“Okay,” He said, leaning back into his chair. “What made you change your mind?”

Rey fussed with the sleeves for a few minutes, then met his gaze head-on, determination radiating from her entire body like a low hum. “I know how to get him back now. It’s...dumb, and you might not like it, but I can do it. I’m getting Ben out of there.”

He regarded her curiously for a moment, then realized that he could feel the Force emanating from her too, only a thin stream of energy but enough that he knew she no longer feared it. The thought made him smile slightly. She was making progress. Maybe a trip would be the final step.

Rey took a deep breath, eyes falling to the floor. “I’m sure that neither of you are too keen on hanging out with him—“

“I’m fine with it,” Finn shrugged. “You know I am.”

The corner of her lip twitched up, then she glanced over at Poe, who had put his arms up behind his back. “I can’t promise we’ll be friends,” He said, his voice awfully casual considering Finn could feel him wince on some level from the memory of the interrogation. “But the war’s over, and he clearly changed enough to like, you know…” He made a strange motion with his fingers, eliciting a small chuckle from Finn.

“Plus—“ Poe said begrudgingly, then leaned forward, placing his elbows on the desk. “He is Leia’s son. I’m sure she’d want to see him live his life…you know, properly.”

“Yeah…” Rey said quietly, her gaze darting between the two of them and the window. “Yeah, she would.”

Finn felt his heart leap for a moment, then nodded at Rey, suddenly realizing just how absolutely insane everything was. A year ago, he was just starting to use his intuition and occasionally push some rocks out of the way. Now here he was…fighting with lightsabers and getting ready to help a friend bring someone back from the dead. (Possibly. He didn’t understand anything about Mortis beyond the bit from the book. None of them did.)

“Alright, but give us a few days,” He said, nodding towards Rey. Silently, he thanked her for the opportunity to get another distraction from the pile of work in front of him. “We’re doing orientation for the newest members tomorrow. Then we have to send in the loan application for the new residence hall.” He nodded at Poe, who returned it with a shrug and a relieved smile. He was happy for the distraction too. “After that, good to go.”

Rey started to open her mouth, but he held his hand up to silence her. “We’re coming with you, whether you like it or not. Besides, I’ve always wanted to see Ahch-To. Maybe I can get some Jedi wisdom out of it.”

She looked surprised but then giggled, her shoulders dropping with relief. The stream widened slightly, carrying with it the faint melody of her energy. “Alright,” She said, smiling wider than she had in a very long time. “Then tell me when you’re ready, and we’ll go save him. Together.”


End file.
